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mygif

I’m surprised he never tussled with Uncle Sam and the freedom fighters. It’s almost a shame he has to be a part of Firestorm’s rogues gallery.

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mygif

I originally read that as “Stalinovolk” and was thinking “What? DC made a “Stalin For The People” character and used bad GERMAN to make the name instead of bad Russian?

I was thinking this was just about right for DC’s quality control, actually.

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mygif

Excellent call. Stalinovolk is pretty damn badass, even by the exceptionally high standards of Suicide Squad. He rocks the hell out of that mustache.

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mygif

But why is he wearing a nice suit? Stalin didn’t wear nice suits. He wore knee high boot… ah. “Undertones.” Got you.

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mygif

It’s a wonder Rucka never used him in Checkmate.

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mygif

Stalinvolk vs. Batman was a favourite bit of mine in Suicide Squad.

Suicide Squad rocked.

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mygif

Edit: I mean, of course, the first volume of Suicide Squad. The new Ostrander mini-series is also good.

Suicide Squad 2.0 Giffen, et al. — no. Just no.

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mygif

Speaking as a Russian:

“Staynoy Volk” is two words, not one. I mean, I am happy that DC gave a Russian superhero a name that actually makes sense in the original Russian, but would it kill them to get the rest right? And if they were going for one of those combined 80s superhero names… those rarely work in Russian language.

>And, curiously, with a bit of a speech impediment.

The “speech impairment” is a translator’s attempt to convey Stalin’s heavy Georgian accent. He was quite infamous for it back when he was alive, inspiring all sorts of jokes.

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mygif

Forgive me for pointing out the obvious, but that is NOT a nice three-piece suit. It’s a quite nice two-piece suit, and he wears it well, but without a vest it’s not a three-piece.

Men’s fashion is in enough of a sadly degraded state–let’s not exacerbate things by losing our terminology.

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mygif

The suit itself may be nice, but a mustard shirt and a baby blue tie? Who dresses him, Brezhnev? Also, I originally read the translation of his name as “Steel Wool”, which is distinctly UNbadass, but that really just means I don’t like to read all the little letters in the words right. And I’m not convinced of someone’s badassery when one of their memorable super powers is basically that he can jump real good.

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mygif

Superman used to be memorable for being able to jump well – before he was given the ability to fly.

Where do you think “leap over tall buildings in a single bound” came from?

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mygif

I see he lost points for his name being hard to spell. Does he gain any for being able to lean on things that aren’t really there? See, that flag he’s got his hand on in colored to match the background, so unless there’s a giant headshot him, and another smaller him looking at a downed Firestorm then that flag isn’t there.

I wonder if Firestorm ever altered his suits into standard superhero tights. I bet that’d piss him off.

And also one of Hulk’s best known powers is he can jump real good.

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mygif

Jumping STILL doesn’t impress me. It’s at least more eccentric than flying, which is a dime a dozen as far as superpowers go, but it has a bargain basement feel to it. Like Wolverine being able to smell real good. Ooh, Logan, you have the power of… my dog! I’m just saying, if I were Steel Wool, I’d be talking up the bullet proof stuff more (even though that’s kind of a disappointment too, I mean, small arms fire ONLY? Get with the times, grandpa!).

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mygif

I still prefer Walt Simonson’s giant disney RoboStalin. From an alternate universe.

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