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BEEP
You have forty-seven new messages.
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“Lucy? It’s Bertram. I know I’ve been kind of busy lately, and I know you were all on me to get a job, so I’ve been thinking – maybe I should become a professional criminal? I mean, I’m already an entomologist. That’s kind of like being a professional criminal, because I study cockroaches. Get back to me. I want your opinion on this.”
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“Lucy, Bertram again. Now, I know I could go about this the honest way and work at your father’s car wash for fifteen years to build up the money to build my robotic insect prototypes, but I want you to know that I’m thinking about us when I say I can’t do that. I mean, come on, Lucy. Our kids are going to need a real role model in their life, and you can’t do that working at the freaking car wash, you know? I – call me back, passing under a bridge…”
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“Yeah, it’s Bert. Look, robotic pest control will eliminate pesticides as an industry. They’re green! And think of the security applications. The patents are all mine. I mean, they’re all ours. We just need to seed it a bit. You see where I’m going with this, right?”
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“Lucy, does purple go with acid green? The tailor is saying they go together, but I think he just wants to offload extra fabric he doesn’t want. Get back to me ASAP on this one.”
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“I did the math and it’ll only take six, uh, you know, “jobs.” Tops. The first two build the robots for the last four, and if half of those robots survive we have enough prototypes for corporate demonstration purposes. The rest of the seed money goes toward buying a house in Denver and maybe a trip to Tahiti. Just you and me. How’s that sound?”
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“Got your note. “Bug-Eyed Bandit” doesn’t really sing to me as a name. Where’s all your stuff?”
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“Okay, now I get that the note was actually an insult. Look, just call me back, okay? We really need to talk. I don’t like “Bug-Eyed Bandit,” but if you need me to use it, I can be flexible.”
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“Dammit, Lucy, this is just classless. Your friends won’t tell me where you are, you don’t return my calls… all I want is to talk. Also, I want my universal remote back. You know the buttons on the TV don’t work properly and I haven’t seen Letterman all week because the channel is stuck on ABC. Why would you even take the remote, anyway?”
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Top comment: Here’s a question….why do so many dangerously unstable individuals have degrees in science in Comicbookland?
Yes, yes….in our world too, but Oppenheimer never turned himself into a bat on a whim. — Marvinmartian
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Here’s a question….why do so many dangerously unstable individuals have degrees in science in Comicbookland?
Yes, yes….in our world too, but Oppenheimer never turned himself into a bat on a whim.
His last name is Larvan? Really? I suppose is a good thing for its creator not to be mentioned in the character’s file.
Here’s how good an artist Gil Kane was — he made that guy look GOOD.
His right hand scares me. I see what they were going for, but to me it looks like just a tangle of misdirected fingers.
It’s the incidental details that crack me up. Tacked on at the end: he created a memory-destroying gas? That could be the basis of an entire criminal career in and of itself! Screw the robot bug gimmick! That would just lead the heroes to start investigating evil entomologists, anyways. But how easy would it be to cover your trail with *memory-destroying gas*?! C’mon, people!
His logo deserves a “Thursday Who’s Who” all to itself.
I guess “The Batman-Booted Bandit” would have sounded too silly?
You’re effen kidding me.
If these are the kinds of guys who can’t find investors for their prototypes in the DC universe, you gotta wonder what the line-up for the DARPA challenge looks like.
……alright, does anybody know how we can bribe Warren Ellis into writing about the DARPA challenge in the DC universe?
..”but Oppenheimer never turned himself into a bat on a whim.”
Man, that would have been awesome. Someone needs to develop a degree for Mad Science.
Jeff Hebert: What I like most about it is he actually has the characters interacting with the blurb.
NCallahan: The problem I see with that is two fold. 1) Since almost the beginning of comics you’ve had fully functional robots. So no one has to develop shit since you can just ask Red Tornado. 2) But on the other side of that, since most of those robots are vicious human killers from outer space, using them as a basis for a car that drives itself is hazardous at best.
Y’know, people always bring up how Captain Cold or Stilt Man could have made a fortune if they would have just patented their inventions and never even bothered being criminals. And then there’s ol’ Bertram, who wanted to do just that, and nobody could get behind me. Where’s the justice?
He can’t be THAT good at building robots. I mean, assuming that’s a remote control for them in his left hand, he’s still having to point at The Atom so the bug-bots know who to go after.
ps238principal: I suppose you have a point, but that’s also like saying ‘Well, sure the Wright brothers invented the aircraft, but it doesn’t even seat five people does it?’
Maybe it works like Psycho-Man’s emotion inducing device, which only as three simple settings, hate, doubt and fear, and PM used that to conquer the Micro-verse.
So, it has an attack setting, but they have to be told who to attack. Which if you think about it is a good idea. If you wanted to attack just the Atom in a restaurant, stealthily, you don’t want a whole swarm of robo-bugs attacking Jean-Pierre. Where’s that get you? (In before ‘Waiter. There’s a robot fly in my soup.’)
He looks a bit like a rejected Ambush Bug design. You know, back before they knew they’d turn him all loopy and interesting.
A rating of over a quarter of a Rex seems a tad high.
So if Bug Eyed Bandit and the Red Bee were to fight…
And you didn’t even mention Sting, the guy who stole his gimmick after he died.
Uber Geek: Wait… I thought Sting’s gimmick was dressing like The Crow and dropping from the rafters with a baseball bat.
@Al Bruno III
Yes, the Red-Eyes from Mystery Men would make a cameo.
[…] Villain: The Bug-Eyed Bandit W00t! MightyGodKing brought another insect super-villain to my attention: The Bug-Eyed […]
Yeah, I agree, the Bug-Eyed Bandit actually looks sort of cool in this picture.
I seriously think this guy could have been a much better villain if he simply had a better villain name. I mean, come on, you’ve got robot bugs that can wreck everybody’s shit, that’s hardcore. But have some self respect, you know? Like, go with, uh…
uh…
Insectro? Okay, maybe actual bug related names aren’t that good. But seriously, even Dr. Larvan is better than Bug Eyed Bandit…
Insects, robots, strange gases, … I think we found the DCU version of Hank Pym.
DistantFred: Groan.
For those who don’t know which Sting I’m talking about, it’s the villain from the “Power of the Atom” series.
At least DistantFred didn’t suggest that his gimmick was looking like John Constantine and playing the lute.
Highest irony, isn’t it, that such a great artist should render such a crummy character. He sort of pulls it off, too. Fucker knows how to draw.