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VersasoVantare said on August 10th, 2009 at 9:22 am

Err, I guess the drops help prevent them from giving themselves away by coughing and alerting the lion. I guess that cowboy wanted to get in real close before shooting, to make sure he hit a vital point in the lion’s body.

What I wanna know is, why do all the speech bubbles have quotation marks in them?

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solid snake said on August 10th, 2009 at 9:41 am

The mountain lion’s speech bubble does not have quotation marks in it. Also whoever wrote this has no idea what sounds cats make at all because S-C-R-E-E-C-H is most decidedly avian sound. Unless the cowboy a still live bird the cougar had just eaten, they must be in some freak universe where cats sound like birds.

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RobotKeaton said on August 10th, 2009 at 10:19 am

It also seems apparent that the writer or artist has never heard a gun, or seen a comic where someone shoots a gun, because ‘CRACK’ is definitely not a gun shooting noise.

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I propose that the real cherry taste also produces a real cherry smell. So the lion didn’t smell the human scent and thought it was only a cherry tree sneaking up on it, which – as we all know – is no threat to fully grown mountain lions.

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equinox216 said on August 10th, 2009 at 10:48 am

This advertisement actually presaged Metal Gear’s use of diazepam pills for more steady aim while waiting for the prey. Not pictured is the followup comic where Wild West Charlie instructs the kids to hide under a cardboard box in order to sneak up on a buffalo and choke it out.

Alternate ending: Wild West Charlie dies of emphysema caused by 20 years of smoking unfiltered Marlboro cigarettes, “A Man’s Pleasure!”. Or “This is Throat Cancer Country!”, or whatever patently ridiculous ad copy they used back then. His initial symptoms went unnoticed for years due to his chronic abuse of Luden’s, which was owned by the same multinational pharmaceutical conglomerate.

Tragic coincidence… Or deadly conspiracy?!

(Editor’s Note: tragic coincidence.)

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mygif

Well, here is the script without the Ludens:

[Pg 1, Pan 1: a YOUNG, WHITE LAD and YOUNG, WHITE LASS, crisp and innocent, are having a delightful picnic in an out-of-the-way canyon, far from the watchful eyes of adults, with a grown man carrying live ammunition and dressed as a cowboy: WILD WEST CHARLIE. As they dine on apples and milk, a herd of cattle passes scenically by, while in the foreground, a mountain lion whose love of fresh, organic beef is only eclipsed by his love for Saved by the Bell, paws carefully down the sharp incline.]

YOUNG, WHITE LAD: “Look! A mountain lion!”

WILD WEST CHARLIE: “He’ll kill the cattle!”

[Pg 1, Panel 2: Sensibly, WILD WEST CHARLIE, his pistol drawn, takes LAD and LASS with him to go shoot the mountain lion in the back of the head. They follow him carefully behind as he maneuvers around the craggy hills.]

WILD WEST CHARLIE: “Shhhh don’t cough kids!”

[Pg 1, Panel 3: WILD WEST CHARLIE leans over the hills, carefully aims as the mountain lion reposes, oblivious, and thinks about which Saved by the Bell character he would prefer to eviscerate.]

YOUNG, WHITE LASS (off-panel): (SFX) COUGH-COUGH!

[Pg 1, Panel 4 (splash): The carnage is unknowable (ed. note: remember to check with comics code authority, re: LASS reaching out to chew on revealed entrails of WILD WEST CHARLIE in an attempt to shock herself into unconsciousness so she will not be awake when the mountain lion attends to her; is probably OK given today’s standards but run it by them anyway)]

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“Remember…a cough can be real unlucky. Also unlucky: getting mauled by a FUCKING MOUNTAIN LION.”

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What kind of cowboy shoots someone execution style from the back?

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Meanderthal said on August 10th, 2009 at 12:08 pm

Oh God, I’ve got a cough! [looks frantically around for mountain lions]

It’s too late for me, boys. Best I can do is lure them away…

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VersasoVantare said on August 10th, 2009 at 12:12 pm

“What kind of cowboy shoots someone execution style from the back?”

A sensible one.

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Actually, mountain lions scream like a frightened woman. It’s a rather disturbing thing ot hear in one’s backyard, I might add.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xKw4OFAu1WM

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Joysweeper said on August 10th, 2009 at 4:45 pm

I… I don’t know how they help. But Rex the Wonder Dog is involved somehow.

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Lesson: Shooting top predators should only be done from above and behind. If there’s no ledge available, use a single-engine plane. And make sure you’re properly medicated.

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Will no one speak the truth?

Has no one seen that “Wild West Charlie” dresses in pink and yellow and looks like Glenn Close?

OBVIOUSLY, the quotes are in the deceptively-innocuously-named “speech bubbles” to draw attention that the entire sick tableau is CODE and EUPHEMISM!

We must act NOW, before our red-blodded children THEMSELVES become curious about what “sucking on Ludens” and “bagging mountain lions” are really like!

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mygif

What do YOU suppose he’s firing out of that gun? Bullets? Pfft. He’s shooting the power of Luden’s freshness. Don’t believe me? Check out the line coming from the gun. It’s going straight through the back of the neck and into the throat of that mountain lion, soothing its pain and killing it instantly!

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mygif

“Don’t cough kids”? Is Charlie giving advice to the youth or the cougar? Also, doesn’t it look like the bullet went through the puma and possibly into – at least – one of the CATTLE?

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Mountain lions, when coughed at, spontaneously fire lasers.

Well known fact, in the cowboy circles.

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They speak in quotation marks because they know they’re being watched.

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I’m no Homo Ludens (that’s a nod to the Glass Bead Game by the way) but I find that the juxtaposition of cougars and wild cherries is more than a little inappropriate.

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