ONE ME: So they’re stuntmen who double for children. FLAPJACKS: They’re being totally dismissive when they say it’s a niche market. ME: Really. How else can they apply it? FLAPJACKS: They could stunt double for Michael J. Fox. ME: Right. FLAPJACKS: Because he’s short. ME: I got it. FLAPJACKS: Although they’d have to wiggle around […]

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A friend forwarded me the link to this Comic Book Resources forum thread, wherein Ethan Van Sciver, best known for extremely detailed drawings in comical books and for deciding that Green Lanterns all have a little Lantern logo made out of energy floating in front of their chests, pontificates on matters political and economical. It […]

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Although I find a lot of the new non-club-improv-comedy-anywhere scene to be kind of sickly attention-seeking, I have to concede that sometimes they are really quite awfully clever.

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WHY BRAD PITT WILL WIN BEST ACTOR FOR THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON: Because he had to find the essence of his character buried under pounds of old-age makeup – while the character itself was a young one, and Pitt had to portray that essential contradiction and did so very well. Because he is […]

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WHY ANGELINA JOLIE WILL WIN BEST ACTRESS FOR CHANGELING: Because she gave a good performance. Because she gave a good performance outside of her comfort zone, playing in a period piece that didn’t lend itself to her natural strengths. Because she’s one of the few relatively bankable actresses in Hollywood and people want to reward […]

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Hey, are any of you people the people who buy the comic books with the variant covers that cost like thirty dollars because the comic store has to order twenty of the standard cover to get one copy of the fancy cover? And do you pay for those special comic books in retard dollars? Hey, […]

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WHY ROBERT DOWNEY JR. WILL WIN BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR FOR TROPIC THUNDER: Because he was a dude disguised as a dude playing another dude, and dude, he was brilliant at it. Because he was the funniest thing in a pretty funny movie (Tom Cruise’s shtick was overrated bombast). Because he hasn’t even gotten a nomination […]

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My weekly TV column is up at Torontoist.

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Okay, I just want to go on record as saying that 33, as numbers go, is a sucky one. It is evenly divisible by 11, which earns it a little cred, but that does not counter the fact that “early thirties” is gradually starting to become inapplicable to describe me and that kind of sucks. […]

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So I started doing these things almost two years ago now, and I’ve gotten self-righteous emails about them at times. I’d figure I’ve gotten maybe two for every post (not sequentially, just overall). There’s the “who do you think you are” variety, of course, and the “why don’t you use all this talent to make […]

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