May

Improved Archie ’72

Posted by MGK Published in Archie (Improved Or Otherwise), Comics, Interactive Fun Time Party

And to think they said I couldn't figure out how to work Facebook. WHO'S LAUGHING NOW, RIVERDALE?

The Improved Archie’s Fear (May 13th, 2014)
Improved Archie: The Ragin’ Climax (April 8th, 2014)
Archie Comics: The Improved Story (March 11th, 2014)
Who’s Afraid of Improved Archie? (January 30th, 2014)
Fifty Improvements of Archie (December 3rd, 2013)

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Mitchell Hundred said on May 2nd, 2012 at 9:33 am

Oh, Betty’s diary is so fanciful. As if she has the time to stalk me this thoroughly!

Joe Mama said on May 2nd, 2012 at 9:41 am

“If they only knew the one I really care about is Reggie!”

J.H. said on May 2nd, 2012 at 9:49 am

“Lord knows, pimpin’ ain’t easy!”

The Kicker of Elves said on May 2nd, 2012 at 10:06 am

“There, I’ve completed my magnun opus: ‘Everything I Know About Fashion'”
(pages are blank)

Mecha Velma said on May 2nd, 2012 at 10:56 am

Time to play the game again.

The Unstoppable Gravy Express said on May 2nd, 2012 at 11:31 am

“Oh, the photos are nice, but these individual strands of my victims’ hair are the TRUE mementos. Now, which one to whack off to tonight? Hmm, Cara’s page is already pretty sticky, maybe Audrey deserves some attention…”

*phone rings* “Hello?”

“It’s all over, Andrews. You may have fooled your school and your town, but now you’re dealing with Mandy Fucking Patinkin, you little shit. YOU’RE GOING DOWN!”

“YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!!!”

*hail of gunfire*

*credits*

A2H said on May 2nd, 2012 at 12:12 pm

“And now you know…the rest of the story. Be sure to tune in next week, where I tell the tale of “The One Who Wouldn’t Stay Quiet”. Next week, on Archie Andrew’s Conquests Theater.”

Beachfox said on May 2nd, 2012 at 12:22 pm

My secret? Plaid collars. Drives the bitches -crazy-.

Noah Brand said on May 2nd, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Another sexy, sexy evening in the Masturbatorium! Who’s a loser NOW?

…who am I talking to?

damanoid said on May 2nd, 2012 at 1:35 pm

“Can’t wait for that gender-swapped issue to come out… finally I’ll be more beautiful than any of them!”

Jason said on May 2nd, 2012 at 1:36 pm

“I banged her, I banged her not. I banged her, I banged her not . . .”

John Seavey said on May 2nd, 2012 at 1:38 pm

“I know I’ll never be another Zodiac killer. But in my own quiet way…I am content.”

Greg Morrow said on May 2nd, 2012 at 4:48 pm

Even a man who is pure in heart and says his prayers by night, may become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms, and the autumn moon is bright.

ImperatorMJ said on May 2nd, 2012 at 5:37 pm

“Ahem…’Now I, Moroni, write somewhat as seemeth me good; and I write unto my brethren, the Lamanites; and I would that they should know that more than four hundred and twenty years have passed away since the sign was given of the coming of Christ.'”

HrolfK said on May 2nd, 2012 at 6:23 pm

‘Mon cher. Votre long cou. Votre peau douce. J’ai peur de toucher. Je crains au goût. J’hésite. J’étudie. Je dévore.’

subtitles ‘Hur-hurrr, titties, hur-hurrr’

Max said on May 2nd, 2012 at 8:23 pm

“Dean’s fingers press down a second before they pull away, slipping down under his breastbone and Sam has to fight the instinct to hold Dean’s hand there and show him how easy it is to dig into a person…”

GoatToucher said on May 2nd, 2012 at 8:47 pm

Yes, so many beautiful girls, but they pale before my greatest challenge. My greatest prize.

Grundy, you WILL be mine.

GoatToucher said on May 2nd, 2012 at 8:49 pm

Wanna find out how a redheaded dipshit like me left all this high quality trim hanging at the finish line? Call the Archie Hotline at [number redacted] and for $1.99 a minute I’ll give you all the details.

Theron said on May 2nd, 2012 at 9:00 pm

“97, 98, and 99. Yep, 99 problems.”

Eric S. Smith said on May 2nd, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Archie narrates the TV movie version of his Reader’s Digest Drama in Real Life.

“I called Audrey* on impulse, expecting nothing more than a typical date. But fate had something else in store.”

[* not her real name.]

UnSub said on May 2nd, 2012 at 11:41 pm

“… and now that I’ve hung all the photos around the room, I’m going to invite all my girls here at the same time to admire them. What could go wrong?”

buzz said on May 2nd, 2012 at 11:59 pm

…now who do I want Sabrina to turn me into this week…?

Tice with a J said on May 3rd, 2012 at 12:32 am

They were helpless
They were hopeless
Then along came Archie!
They were joyless
They were boyless
Then along came Archie!
They’re my angels
I’m their devil
And I keep those embers aglow
When I woos ’em
I can’t lose ’em
‘Cause I cast my spell ‘n’
They start yellin’
Fire down below!
They were listing
They were sinking
Then along came Archie!
They were desp’rate
They were drinking
Then along came Archie!
So romantic
They were frantic
Then their prayers were heard up above!
Heaven sent them
Their Archie!
I’m the celebration of love!

Chris Lowrance said on May 3rd, 2012 at 9:53 am

Applying the Konami Code to cunnilingus really paid off!

Eric S. Smith said on May 3rd, 2012 at 9:09 pm

UnSub’s entry may be the Archiest so far.

Gentleman Mummy said on May 3rd, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Oh Jesus, if I could only read braille.

Gentleman Mummy said on May 3rd, 2012 at 10:12 pm

To ladies’ faces
I’m but a slave!
So why’d I kill ’em?
BURMA SHAVE

MarvinAndroid said on May 4th, 2012 at 9:55 am

“Oh, Garfield, will your antics never cease?”

Justin said on May 4th, 2012 at 4:17 pm

“And so, Archie’s assembled love slaves crawled to him, their nubile bodies oiled and ready, as they all gathered to worship his huge, manly…”
*ring ring!*

William Kendall said on May 4th, 2012 at 5:03 pm

“I wonder what Sabrina does with all of the sacrifices I’ve brought to her in the last six days.”

vortex said on May 7th, 2012 at 3:24 pm

“The human whose name is written in this note shall die.”

Peter C. Hayward said on July 29th, 2012 at 9:28 pm

“Facebook.”

Improved Archie ’72

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