My weekly TV column is up at Torontoist.

(Man, George Martin really does have a fire under his ass now.)

When I last blogged about this season of “The Amazing Race”, it had just premiered, and I gave some preliminary thoughts on the racers and the series. I got a few things very right (“Brook and Claire seem nice enough, but I think they’re this season’s token “Teams That OD on the Adrenalin Rush and Chest Bump After Every Small Accomplishment”) and a few things very wrong (“Nick and Vicki will be gone next week”)…but looking back, what do I think now that they’re down to the top four?

For starters, I stand by my assertion that the more the racers drive themselves around, the less interesting the race gets. Gary and Mallory’s elimination was almost entirely without suspense, despite the best efforts of the Race’s editing team, because when you spend nine hours driving around looking for the first clue, it’s a pretty good bet that everyone else gets a free pass to the next leg. Admittedly, taxi roulette isn’t much better, as Andie and Jenna found, but I think that maybe the challenges need to be a little more challenging in order to give late racers a chance to catch up. There have only been a few really tricky challenges this year; most have them have been time-consuming in a way that doesn’t allow the racers’ skills to give them a chance to shave off much time. A task that takes everyone an hour is a task that might as well not be there.

Still, there have been some good innovations. The Double U-Turn changed the U-Turn from a “fuck you, you’re eliminated” to a real race-leveling tool; since two teams got stuck with it, you were still racing against someone on the same terms as you. I still don’t feel any need to have the U-Turners need to put up their picture itself–I think it creates Drama in one of the few reality shows that’s a lot of fun even when it’s totally Drama-free–but if someone really feels like holding a grudge against the person who U-Turned them instead of going after the strongest competition, I can’t stop them.

As to the remaining racers…well, I’m thrilled beyond belief that Chad and Stephanie are gone. I was seriously starting to think of them as the cockroaches of the Amazing Race, thoroughly unpleasant and yet somehow surviving everything that was thrown at them. I was slightly saddened that Gary/Mallory and Michael/Kevin got eliminated, since they seemed to be having fun with the Race (and doing better than most parent/child teams do) but such is life. And now, I’d like to see Jill/Thomas and Nick/Vicki gone, or at the very least not winning the Race. Both guys are nasty and mean to their girlfriends (especially Nick, who really does behave like he’d like to hit Vicki if the cameras weren’t on them) and I don’t want to see them anymore. But with three episodes left (I’m guessing that this week will end with a split leg) I still can’t say I know who will win. Which is at least one thing they’re doing right.

My weekly TV column is up at Torontoist.

Also, it’s not airing on Canadian telly so it’s not in the column, but – the new American version of Top Gear is really dreadful, isn’t it? Jeremy Clarkson might be a colossal dickhead, but at least he’s sort of self-aware about being a colossal dickhead, and May/Hammond similarly recognize that although their love for cars is heartfelt it’s also sort of absurd. You don’t get that from the American hosts (Adam Ferrara and two professional car-guys who are wastes of on-camera space). They’re totally serious about how much they love cars. It’s kind of boring.

My weekly TV column is up at Torontoist.

My weekly TV column is up at Torontoist.

Also, because I like it:

My weekly TV column is up at Torontoist.

I’ve already seen it and was mightily impressed, but I figure people might want to discuss it. So have at it in the comments, y’all.

My weekly TV column is up at Torontoist.

Your judges are the usual four.

Amanda and Denys: salsa. A pretty strong routine from Gustavo MOTHERFUCKING Vargas, but he goes for the triple leg lift and Denys blows it a bit. Pity; that’s a really difficult move (and one that I don’t think blends well into a routine generally; it’s just too stunty) and it was a icky ending to an otherwise stellar bit of salsa, complete with an absolutely brilliant stunt at the beginning (a giant lift which then had Denys doing his salsa basic while lifting Amanda, which – kudos, CTV camera team, for deciding to not film that, once again demonstrating why Canadian TV is Canadian TV).

Jeff’s solo: He goes Ukrainian again, but this time with slightly more dramatic costume (pants, boots, no shirt, very King and I) and works in a bunch of his contemporary acrobatic tricks. Best solo he’s done all season.

Janick and Denys: contemporary. WIND MACHINE! I liked the choreo’s first two-thirds and then it devolved into a lot of running around, which is a shame because there were some really neat bits in it up until that point – Nico and Wynn have done better. Janick and Denys danced this quite well and I have no complaints on that front. Also, WIND MACHINE. I mention it twice because it was cheesy AND kind of awesome.

Amanda’s solo: Felt like an end-of-the-season solo: this looked really tired, and sloppy. Falling out of that pirouette was especially not so much with the thereness.

Janick and Jeff: jazz/fusion. You know, I’ve been waiting all season for a season-defining routine and it finally showed up tonight. This… thingy from CHEESEMAN~! was spectacular: weird and well-conceived (I mean, dressing up the dancers as King and Queen – or Queen and prince-consort, whatever) and danced absolutely perfectly. Simply a brilliant bit of work here.

Denys’ solo: Exactly as strong as you would expect.

Amanda and Jeff: contemporary. And we get our Very Serious Routine of the night about domestic violence, which I felt was very meh; it didn’t feel sufficiently violent or malevolent to me, not in the movements for the most part (other than Jeff grabbing Amanda’s wrist right at the beginning). Very good acting, certainly, and the dancing was exactly as strong as you would expect, but… not convincing for me as a piece. YMMV.

Janick’s solo: A decent hip-hop/contemporary blend as per usual with good performance quality.

Top four: contemporary. Wait, what? No same-sex partner dances? An entire final show without a single hip-hop number and only one ballroom routine? Janick and Jeff didn’t even have to dance out-of-genre all night when dancing three times, for crissake. Fuck you, show. No, really. Fuck you; this isn’t even a time thing forced on you by CTV because in previous years you’ve always managed to cram in six partner dances plus four solos in one hour. I’m not even reviewing this because it’s a group number and I just can’t be bothered to care. Whatever.

Final order should be: 1.) Denys 2.) Jeff 3.) Janick 4.) Amanda
Final order will be: 1.) Denys 2.) Janick 3.) Jeff 4.) Amanda

My weekly TV column is up at Torontoist. Find the extra bonus Youtube link for double points!

Hello! This is Karen back for another round of guest blogging So You Think You Can Dance Canada!

Alright, so it’s Top 8 Week and instead of doing two pairs dances, the dancers are doing one pairs dance, one solo, and one group number. WTF, CTV?

Your guest judges are Sexy Rexy, Canada’s ballet heartthrob, and Sergio Trujillo, who is a Broadway choreographer from Toronto. Jean-Marc is growing out his hair and it’s still in an awkward phase.

Leah Miller Dress Report: it looks like one of those toilet paper dresses that women make at bachelorette parties or to enter Charmin crowd-sourcing contests. B-

Awkward Commercial Promotion Report: Thanks to Degree clinical-grade deodorant for profuse sweaters, a viewer will win an exotic vacation!

Mackenzie and Janick (hip hop): Great Luther Brown number; ten times more interesting than half the hip hop numbers on the American show, blah blah blah. Mackenzie and Janick definitely hit this, but I don’t think they sold the swagger that Luther wanted them to sell. Jean-Marc suggests that Luther should run in the Toronto mayoral race, which is an awkward thing to say but not the worst idea he’s ever had. The costumes reminded me of World of Goo, or maybe a sexy oil spill.

“You move so well, gosh!” says Leah Miller, who has presumably graduated from middle school.

Jeff’s Solo: the dancers are asked about their favourite thing about their hometown. Jeff says he loves the spontaneity of Alberta thunderstorms and dances to Radiohead with those lovely legs, so I’m sold.

Natalie’s Solo: Am I going to comment on all these solos? Oh, okay. Watching people dance to Alicia Keys is uncomfortable. It’s Natalie’s birthday, yaaaaaaaay.

Danielle and Denys (contemporary): Sabrina Matthews of the icky suicide-attempt dance from several weeks ago does “A Tribute to Our Fallen Soldiers.” It’s pretty okay. Sergio calls Denys, “a true little Baryshnikov,” which is a decent comparison. Denys is hands down the best dancer in this competition and I love him for it, but I don’t usually love-love him if you know what I’m saying. Nevertheless, he’s looking reeeeeeeeeal good in this hot Communist soldier, Joseph Fiennes in Enemy at the Gates-kinda way and it’s doing it for me.

If Denys is Baryshnikov/Joseph Fiennes, then Danielle is the Winona Ryder of dance. Like Winona Ryder, I can’t really picture spooky-sweet Danielle as a grieving soldier’s wife. If there were a God, he’d give me Reality Bites: The Musical. Or maybe Bram Stoker’s Dracula: The Musical. Denys could play Gary Oldman. That would be believable.

Amanda’s Solo: Amanda is from Mississauga. What is there to love about Mississauga? Amanda says the Port Credit Harbour. Good save, Legs McGee! Her solo is eclectic and fierce.

Sebastian’s Solo: Sebastian is a Toronto boy who loves diversity and dances to Stars’ “Your Ex-Lover is Dead” so I have to like him, but this solo is kind of a mess. Good musicality.

Group Number: a sexy pilot and flight attendant jazz number by Sean Cheeseman. I’m not into it. The guys are all over the place, but Denys is flawless. He is the Captain OF MY PANTS.

Amanda and Jeff (contemporary): Mandy Moore choreographs a piece about early-onset Alzheimers. Two contemporary tearjerkers in one night, eh? Looks like a Sabrina Matthews-Mandy Moore throwdown!

Amanda and Jeff both have the most incredible legs and this dance does everything to showcase them, so it’s beautiful. Jean-Marc cries for the second time this evening, but it seems more genuine than his tears for The Troops. Point goes to Mandy Moore.

Leah Miller says something like, “Gee golly, that dance there shore was purty, you guys!” and continues to be grating.

Denys’ Solo: My ladyboner diminishes as Denys dances his effeminate solo. He has suddenly transformed from Joseph Fiennes into Chris Kattan as Mango. And, of course, I love Mango, but for very different reasons.

Janick’s Solo: Jannick is from New Brunswick and likes nature and dancing good solos.

Sebastian and Natalie (cha cha cha): superfail for Sebastian, who is dancing through a hip injury and is wayyyy outside of his comfort zone. But man, does he ever try. Natalie is great, as usual, but has a very unmemorable personality, as usual.

Danielle’s Solo: Lovely solo.

Mackenzie’s Solo: Couldn’t care less about this guy.

Verdict? Sebastian is toast.

Like most people, when I saw the Youtube video of Grover parodying the Old Spice Man, I thought it was wonderful: cute and hilarious and a bit educational all at once. But it made me think about how, back in my second year of university, a girl in one of my classes insisted that Sesame Street was a bad thing because it trained children to watch television. By making children familiar with the form of the thing, she said, it indoctrinated them into passively accepting different elements in the same form. One of her favorite arguments in this regard was the presence of Guy Smiley as a tool to help kids learn how to watch game shows.

At the time I thought the idea ridiculous. I grew up with Sesame Street longer than most because I was the oldest of four siblings, so if they were watching Sesame Street while I did older-kid play in the background, I was watching Sesame Street as well. The reason I thought the idea ridiculous was that I knew full well that Sesame Street challenged authority on a regular basis. I mean, Bert and Ernie alone should be enough to make that point; every Bert and Ernie sketch is basically Ernie being a bit of an asshole to poor old Bert. But see also the treatment of Herry Monster as a sensitive, gentle giant who likes playing with dollies; Oscar the Grouch and Cookie Monster in toto; the realistic treatment of Mr. Hooper’s death, which went against every children’s TV convention in the book.

But of late I grow less sure. Part of it, of course, is probably just things-were-better-when-I-was-a-kid-itis. There is no innate need for Herry Monster on Sesame Street as compared to other monsters. Bert and Ernie still do the same schtick, which is the best thing you can hope for. Cookie Monster is still Cookie Monster. (Although Grover is superior to Elmo. I will not concede this point. Ever.)

But of late, the trend in the show seems to be one of parodying not just the general form of culture (as Guy Smiley did) but of specifics: 30 Rock, Mad Men, Law and Order. Although Sesame Street has never been too complex for kids, these sketches seem even simpler. They don’t seem as designed to teach kids; they seem instead designed to reinforce the brand for adults, and to allow kids to understand the cultural references their parents make. (The Law and Order sketch is the best example of this – there’s no reason to make fun of the CHUNG CHUNG noise because the CHUNG CHUNG jokes really only make sense if you understand what the CHUNG CHUNG noise’s significance is.)

Or maybe I’m just kvetching. One thing of which I am more sure, though: Feist’s re-writing of 1234, cute as it may be, is no Lena Horne singing “It’s Not Easy Being Green.” I can’t help but think that there is something to that point.

My weekly TV column is up at Torontoist.