Welcome to the results of the 2014 Theszies / Rec.sport.pro-wrestling Awards.
Anyway. Here, we present the “worst” Awards – those Awards which celebrate the awfullest things in wrestling of 2013. If this disturbs your chakras, you can go read the “Best” Awards instead: they’re over here.
This year we officially hit 1,000 voters – and I mean exactly 1,000 voters, after we manually eliminated the usual bunch of duplicate/scam voters (seriously, guys, why do you do that, it just makes this all take longer). We came out to exactly one thousand, which is pretty amazing.
For next year, we’re looking at some ways to improve the Awards. We may end up killing some of the “worst” Awards – not all of them, but people are generally less enthusiastic about them, and also it gets boring seeing people use various awards to complain about how much they dislike John Cena (or, presumably, Roman Reigns next year). We’re also looking at ways to streamline the nominations process for at least some of the awards.
Finally, I’d like to thank Justin Henry, Christopher Robin Zimmerman, Herb Kunze and all those who have previously run the Awards and contributed to their legacy; everybody who chipped in to promote the awards; all of you voters, of course; and finally and most importantly an extra-double-sized thanks to mgkdotcom’s Tech Guy, James Young, without whose invaluable assistance these Awards would almost certainly have failed to be anywhere near as successful and user-friendly as they in fact were.
And without further ado…
To be given to the name athlete who was the worst overall wrestler in the past year. Minimal technical ability, lousy interviews, non-existent workrate, and the charisma of a rock should describe this person.
Previous Winners:
1990: Junkyard Dog
1991: Andre The Giant
1992: Nailz
1993: Giant Gonzalez
1994-2000: Hulk Hogan (Hollywood Hogan)
2001: Buff Bagwell
2002: Jackie Gayda
2003: Nathan Jones
2004-05: Heidenreich
2006-09: The Great Khali
2011: Kelly Kelly
2012-13: The Great Khali
| NOMINEE | 1st | 2nd | 3rd | TOTAL |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| EVA MARIE | 177 | 121 | 76 | 1401 |
| Cameron | 182 | 80 | 61 | 1272 |
| The Great Khali | 127 | 96 | 79 | 1081 |
| Mojo Rawley | 64 | 89 | 80 | 747 |
| Rosa Mendes | 62 | 76 | 47 | 635 |
ESMITTY: Kane: he’s waaaay past his prime, he hasn’t had a good match in years, he’s got no credibility due to years of losing, and despite all this WWE continued to make him the focal point of numerous main event feuds and matches, to the detriment of every single person he worked with. I can’t believe he wasn’t nominated here.
WINO KUNG FU: Now that he’s officially retired, next year this needs to be the Great Khali Memorial Award for Worst Wrestler.
RAPTORGS: Xavier Woods. Xavier Woods is a terrible wrestler because of one simple fact: nothing he does makes any sense. Take, for example, the Honor Roll. Xavier, buddy, stopping to slowly flip towards your opponent would actually DECREASE the momentum behind your crummy clothesline.
REIF SCHNEIDER: TJ Perkins, because it never feels like anything matters. Like, it’s cool you can do a million transitions to get to a STF, but maybe hold on to it instead of turning it into a chinlock to move onto the next thing?
C. GUND: I don’t know why the Khali warning is needed. I’ve not even felt tempted to vote for him since Eva Marie plopped down on our screens. Khali may be basically immobile, but there is some value in that visual and giants are not all that easy to find. Surely the WWE could find a woman equally as attractive as Eva Marie, who might show some sort of desire to be a valuable part of their product. Eva Marie has been around for a while now and it seems like she has learned nothing – except how to be in a reality TV show.
R. MANNING: Despite his limited work and retirement, I still had to vote Khali #1 for somehow having workrate worse than Giant Gonzales, knees made of tissue paper and sugar glass, and promos spoken entirely in Khalese.
To be given to the name tag team who were the worst overall wrestlers in the past year. Minimal technical ability, lousy interviews, non-existent workrate, the charisma of a rock, and lousy team moves should describe this pair.
Previous Winners:
1990: Rhythm & Blues: Greg Valentine & Honky Tonk Man
1991: The Patriots: Todd Champion & Firebreaker Chip
1992: Bushwhackers: Luke Williams & Butch Miller
1993: The Colossal Kongs: Awesome Kong & King Kong
1994: Bushwhackers: Luke Williams & Butch Miller
1995: Tekno Team 2000: Travis & Troy
1996-97: Godwinns: Henry O. & Phineas I.
1998: Diamond Dallas Page & Jay Leno
1999: Ministry of Darkness: Mideon & Viscera
2000: Harris Brothers: Big Ron & Heavy D
2001: Kronik: Brian Adams & Bryan Clarke
2002: 3 Minute Warning: Rosey & Jamal
2003: 3 Minute Warning: Rosey & Jamal / La Resistance: Sylvain Grenier & Rene Dupree & Rob Conway (tie)
2004: Hardcore Holly & Billy Gunn
2005: Legion of Doom: Road Warrior Animal & Heidenreich
2006: The Dicks: Chad & James
2007: Team Pacman: Ron Killings & Adam Jonse
2008: Black Reign & Rellik
2009: Bella Twins: Brie & Nikki
2011: David Otunga and Michael McGillicutty
2012-13: The Great Khali and Hornswoggle
| NOMINEE | 1st | 2nd | 3rd | TOTAL |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| ADAM ROSE AND THE BUNNY | 197 | 87 | 132 | 1510 |
| Los Matadores: Diego and Fernando | 94 | 93 | 68 | 885 |
| Bella Twins: Brie and Nikki | 108 | 51 | 52 | 797 |
| New Age Outlaws: Road Dogg Jesse James and Bad Ass Billy Gunn | 90 | 72 | 42 | 750 |
| Mojo Rawley and Bull Dempsey | 69 | 69 | 39 | 630 |
DANIEL M. DAMICO: The New Age Outlaws had a tag team title reign in 2014. Just your regularly scheduled reminder that that is an event, which did occur.
CHUCK MARZEN: Los Matadores is just a patently stupid gimmick for a couple of guys who can really go. Take the lingerie off their heads, and have them wrestle as who they really are – and not some slightly racist, pseudo-bullfighting nonsense.
CHRISTOPHER BIRD: Hey, remember that one week when everybody really liked the Bunny? That was a fun week.
To be given to the person whose casting as a bad guy just didn’t work well. Maybe there was just no heel heat drawn or maybe the character did not get his heel comeuppance.
Previous Winners:
1990: Rick Martel
1991: The Mountie Jacques Rougeau
1992: Razor Ramon
1993: Giant Gonzalez
1994: Bastion Booger
1995: Zodiac (The Butcher/Brutus Beefcake)
1996: Hulk Hogan
1997: Ahmed Johnson
1998: Hollywood Hogan
1999: Sting
2000: Goldberg
2001: Rob van Dam
2002-03: Triple H
2004: Jeff Jarrett
2005: Linda McMahon
2006-07: Vickie Guerrero
2008: Colin Delaney / Sting (tie)
2009: Mick Foley
2011: Matt Hardy
2012: Lord Tensai
2013: Dixie Carter
| NOMINEE | 1st | 2nd | 3rd | TOTAL |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| BIG SHOW | 99 | 60 | 67 | 809 |
| Kane | 88 | 66 | 45 | 728 |
| Fandango | 64 | 67 | 38 | 597 |
| Cameron | 74 | 49 | 32 | 581 |
| Adam Rose | 67 | 36 | 63 | 569 |
C. GUND: I don’t want to see Eva Marie beat. I just don’t want to see her.
CAP’N ANDY: *Notices Cesaro is insanely over, gives him a literal Hulk Hogan moment at Wrestlemania* // *Pairs him up with Paul Heyman literally the next day for no adequately explained reason* // *Ruins Cesaro* // *Is the WWE*
SPNA001: Here’s to 2015, and to another year of RAW main events ending in DQ due to Kane interference!
YOUR HOT CUP OF RANT: Rusev isn’t even a bad heel per se; he’s just poorly booked as a heel. It’s one thing to let him win cleanly and constantly, but at least have him be a jerk about it. He just comes across as someone we boo because he’s Russian, not because he DOES anything worth booing.
CHRISTOPHER BIRD: See, other than the fact that he turned yet again, I don’t find Big Show to be a particularly bad heel – Big Show has always been quite good at explaining his character motivations and acts well on screen and can cut a killer promo when needed. But I get that people are sick to death of Big Show And Kane Interference endings.
To be given to the person whose casting as a good guy just didn’t work well. Maybe there was just no face heat drawn or maybe the fans actually booed this person, but for whatever reason the face image just didn’t get over.
Previous Winners:
1990: Dusty Rhodes
1991: P.N. News
1992: Sid Justice
1993: Lex Luger
1994-95: Hulk Hogan
1996: John Tenta
1997: Rocky Maivia
1998: Warrior
1999-2000: Hulk Hogan
2001: “The One” Billy Gunn
2002: Triple H
2003: Stephanie McMahon / Scott Steiner (tie)
2004: Hardcore Holly
2005: Randy Orton
2006: John Cena
2007: Santino Marella
2008: Triple H
2009: The Great Khali
2011-12: John Cena
2013: The Miz
| NOMINEE | 1st | 2nd | 3rd | TOTAL |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| JOHN CENA | 243 | 110 | 57 | 1659 |
| Batista | 193 | 98 | 61 | 1375 |
| Roman Reigns | 100 | 70 | 49 | 808 |
| Brie Bella | 69 | 47 | 50 | 586 |
| Mojo Rawley | 48 | 62 | 55 | 536 |
SPNA001: “John Cena as a terrible friend” has been a running joke on the internet for years, but it really seemed like WWE was just rubbing it in our faces during the Survivor Series build.
MY AWESOME REPOSITORY OF JUNK: Here’s a first-place vote for Sheamus, an excellent brawler whose insufferable Cena-lite demeanor and toilet humor make him all but unwatchable, and whose association with HHH biases “smart” fans against him. He’s a dreadful babyface. A feud with a freshly heel-turned Sheamus would be a silver bullet for any other babyface they want to push, and that’s been true for three years. They have no clue.
B CANZE: I think if Batista wrote out a ballot, he would be his own #1 choice for Worst Babyface.
G.I. JOEFAN: Charlotte has been a pretty crappy babyface. She does the same “I’m a Flair so I’m better than you” only now she’s friends with Bayley – the same Bayley she backstabbed in the first place. A Flair should never be a babyface.
To be given to the name wrestler whose workrate and in-ring skill is so low it’s barely measureable.
Previous Winners:
1990: Junkyard Dog
1991: Andre The Giant
1992: Nailz
1993: Giant Gonzalez
1994-99: Hulk Hogan (Hollywood Hogan)
2000: Kevin Nash
2001: Buff Bagwell
2002: Jackie Gayda
2003: Nathan Jones
2004: Heidenreich
2005: Gene Snitsky / Kevin Nash / Chris Masters (tie)
2006-13: The Great Khali
| NOMINEE | 1st | 2nd | 3rd | TOTAL |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| THE GREAT KHALI | 200 | 92 | 80 | 1436 |
| Eva Marie | 158 | 144 | 74 | 1370 |
| Cameron | 177 | 100 | 80 | 1345 |
| Rosa Mendes | 72 | 81 | 55 | 713 |
| Mojo Rawley | 53 | 56 | 60 | 553 |
W. BROWN: I just voted Undertaker first and now I feel very, very sad.
SPNA001: COUNT IT REF! COUNT IT!
B CANZE: Cameron gets the nod for yelling at the ref to count a pin while her opponent was laying face-down. Great Khali is #3 and not higher mostly because I feel bad for him, and Eva Marie is #2 for generally being the worst in-ring presence since David Flair.
CHRISTOPHER BIRD: Good night, sweet prince.
To be given to the wrestler you like the least, regardless of the reason.
Previous Winners:
1991-2000: Hulk Hogan (Hollywood Hogan)
2001: Buff Bagwell
2002-05: Triple H
2006: Jeff Jarrett
2007: The Great Khali
2008-09: Triple H
2011: Kelly Kelly
2012-13: John Cena
| NOMINEE | 1st | 2nd | 3rd | TOTAL |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| JOHN CENA | 250 | 78 | 59 | 1602 |
| Big Show | 60 | 58 | 66 | 606 |
| Roman Reigns | 70 | 36 | 28 | 514 |
| Kane | 55 | 49 | 39 | 500 |
| Eva Marie | 57 | 36 | 29 | 451 |
TIGER GROGE: Sami Zayn. Absolutely cannot stand him. Comes off like the most obnoxious smug douche ever every time I see him. Obviously I’m alone in that opinion but still gets my vote as the number one wrestler I despise. (LET’S ALL GET THIS GUY – MGK)
TENKEN: I’m pretty sure that there’s no aspect of pro wrestling that Brie Bella is any good at.
J. BRADFIELD: Can I just vote for John Cena three times because Jeeeeeesus.
YOUR HOT CUP OF RANT: As a kid, I used to love Kane for his gimmick and presentation, but these days he’s death to anything he’s attached to, and he really just needs to maybe become a trainer or take some time off or anything but wrestle constantly. ESPECIALLY against Daniel Bryan.
CROSSFELLA: Kofi Kingston. His “charisma” is fake. He jumps, and that’s it. He can only get crowd response by clapping his hands, his finisher is awful, and he’s boring. He’s what an 8-year-old would invent as a perfect wrestler. Ew.
CHRISTOPHER BIRD: Do I hate R-Truth because of what’s effectively an embarrassing minstrel-show gimmick (which isn’t entirely his fault) or because he’s an uninspiring and bland wrestler (which kinda is)? Either way, when he came out to kick off the 2015 Royal Rumble, I immediately knew that his mediocrity would taint the entire affair, and that was the best-case scenario
To be given to the person whose skill has deteriorated the most over the past year. This person should be a shadow of his/her former self. This award does not imply irreversible decline; merely that the wrestler has slowed down, gotten weaker, or stopped caring about their work.
Previous Winners:
1990: Dusty Rhodes
1991-96: Hulk Hogan
1997: Roddy Piper
1998: British Bulldog
1999: Hulk Hogan
2000-01: Undertaker
2002: Triple H
2003: Scott Steiner
2004: Jeff Hardy
2005: Vader
2006: Raven
2007: Ric Flair
2008: Dustin Rhodes (Black Reign)
2009: Kevin Nash
2011-12: Hulk Hogan
2013: Rey Mysterio
| NOMINEE | 1st | 2nd | 3rd | TOTAL |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| UNDERTAKER | 290 | 113 | 73 | 1935 |
| Kane | 113 | 86 | 55 | 933 |
| Big Show | 72 | 59 | 62 | 661 |
| Chris Jericho | 73 | 61 | 59 | 666 |
| Rey Mysterio | 59 | 86 | 55 | 663 |
SPNA001: Batista was never the greatest wrestler, but the physical state he returned in at the beginning of the year was absolutely deplorable. Meanwhile, Samoa Joe continues to give less of a fuck about wrestling with every passing second, preferring to cash in those sweet twitch.tv checks.
R. MANNING: Whoever nominated Billy Gunn needs to remember that, in order to have deteriorated, you have to have been good in the first place.
MY AWESOME REPOSITORY: My ballot included the guy who hooked me on wrestling when I was 9 (Undertaker) and perhaps my favorite wrestler of all time (Jericho). What a depressing category.
B. CANZE: For years I have been one of those loud-mouths who would argue about how Big Show was one of the best character actors and a truly talented big man who could still pull out some truly impressive feats of strength. 2014 was the year where he was so sluggish, unmotivated and clearly physically deteriorated that even I had to admit that maybe it’s time for Show to wrap it up.
DANIEL M. DAMICO: Kayfabe-wise, there’s just no way Hunter and Steph looked out over the roster, saw Kane, and said to themselves, “This is the fearsome enforcer that’ll strike fear into the hearts of our enemies.”
CHRISTOPHER BIRD: This wasn’t the year Undertaker deteriorated. This was the year Jim Ross wasn’t around to help everybody get past the fact that UT can’t go any more.
To be given to the wrestler who really has little talent, but has a large place in the spotlight nonetheless. This is a measure of how undeserved a wrestler’s push is.
Previous Winners:
1990-91: Hulk Hogan
1992: Ultimate Warrior
1993-99: Hulk Hogan (Hollywood Hogan)
2000: Goldberg
2001: The Undertaker
2002-04: Triple H
2005: John Cena
2006: Jeff Jarrett / Randy Orton (tie)
2007: The Great Khali
2008: John Bradshaw Layfield
2009: Triple H
2011-12: John Cena
2013: Randy Orton
| NOMINEE | 1st | 2nd | 3rd | TOTAL |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| JOHN CENA | 154 | 44 | 47 | 996 |
| Rob Van Dam | 71 | 75 | 53 | 686 |
| Big Show | 55 | 62 | 58 | 577 |
| Roman Reigns | 102 | 9 | 11 | 559 |
| Ryback | 47 | 53 | 43 | 480 |
STEPHEN STONE: Roman Reigns; he’s right in line for the same kind of superpush that made Cena what he is today, but he has few of the same tools which have allowed Cena to keep up a sustained superpush for so long. The only thing keeping him from becoming the “lost remnant” of The Shield is WWE’s insistence on pushing him as a new top babyface.
STRONGBADFREAK: If Wrestlingdata.com is correct, Kane had 10 wins and 124 losses and 2014. How are we supposed to take this guy as a serious threat? His firebending will only get him so far.
CJDEACS: Pretty sure Randy Orton won this award last year, but that does not lessen the validity of your John Cena argument, with which I agree. I also hope that the rest of the voters and I can agree the Batista being pushed to the moon after 4 years away and leaping over many other deserving performers in the process is more than enough to give him this award. Fact.
CLOAKED STARSHIP: Roman Reigns. This guy is being pushed to the moon and hes not ready. He was great when he was the heavy for the Shield and didn’t talk, but his singles matches are lackluster and his promos are garbage.
DEFENEGREG: John Cena can’t be overrated because he’s popular? Whoever wrote the special note doesn’t know what words mean. (…hey! — MGK)
To be given to the wrestler who had the worst character gimmick in the past year.
Previous Winners:
1991: Mike Rotundo as Irwin R. Shyster
1992: Papa Shango’s voodoo
1993: Doink the Clown
1994: Doink the Clown
1995: Dungeon of Doom
1996: The Leprechaun
1997: Glacier / Blood Runs Cold
1998: Warrior appears in “strange mist” / forms One Warrior Nation
1999: Beaver Cleavage (Chaz)
2000: That 70’s Guy / Not a Mullet / Fat Chick Thriller / Career Killer Mike Awesome
2001: Diamond Dallas Page as Sara’s Stalker
2002: WWE’s necrophilia
2003: La Resistance as French sympathizers
2004: Heidenreich as a tortured poet
2005: Jillian Hall as a “fixer” with a giant growth on her face
2006: The Impostor Kane
2007: D-Generation X as middle-aged teenagers
2008: Hornswoggle, leprechaun son of Finlay
2009: Miss WrestleMania Santina Marella, Santino’s twin sister
2011: Michael Cole, the Voice of the WWE Universe
2012: Claire Lynch as AJ Styles’ fake babymama
2013: Antonio Cesaro yodels for some reason
| NOMINEE | 1st | 2nd | 3rd | TOTAL |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| THE NEW DAY AS STEREOTYPICAL FUN-LOVING BLACK WRESTLERS | 109 | 107 | 78 | 1022 |
| Adam Rose as the Russell Brand of wrestling | 84 | 46 | 103 | 764 |
| John Cena as an anti-authority rebel | 83 | 59 | 48 | 688 |
| Emma as Santino's girlfriend / as dorky dancer | 69 | 62 | 54 | 639 |
| The Ascension as Legion of Doom knockoffs | 50 | 37 | 63 | 487 |
OCOURT: The New Day makes me very sad. And bored. And stop watching RAW to put on New Japan World instead.
B. CANZE: Emma edges out Reigns as somebody whose gimmick damaged a promising performer the most. Reigns is not connecting as the stoic loner juggernaut babyface who says “bitch” too much – but Emma as Girl Santino was dead on arrival.
LEWITT: Willow is so bad it almost looped around and became good. Almost.
YOUR HOT CUP OF RANT: Oh, Emma. Her entire WWE run can be summed up as “a lot of bad decisions.”
DANIEL M. DAMICO: One of John Cena’s unofficial cutesy nicknames for himself is “The Face That Runs The Place.” He’s won more championships than anyone, and gets title shots whenever he feels like it. His name and face is on every piece of merch that goes out. He’s, as Punk said, “the New York Yankees.” But no, he’s totally at war with the corporate forces that control the WWE. The new Stone Cold Steve Austin, this guy.
GOBBLEDYGOOKER X: Jimmy Jacobs as the guy who wants to destroy CHIKARA for some reason, and he’s the leader of the Flood, except that he’s not, because Decalion is, or maybe the other guy, or something?
To be given to the move that is the worst thing you’ve seen this year. This shouldn’t be given to a move that was flubbed by a wrestler – the move was performed correctly, but was just too stupid for words. This move should probably be a “finishing” move or something that was meant to be spectacular.
Previous Winners:
1990-91: Hulk Hogan’s leg drop
1992-93: Crush’s Compactor head-vise
1994-95: Hulk Hogan’s leg drop
1996: Hacksaw Jim Duggan’s taped fist
1997-99: Hulk Hogan’s leg drop (Hollywood Hogan’s leg drop)
2000: Scotty 2 Hotty’s Worm chop
2001: Chyna’s handspring elbow
2002: Rikishi’s stinkface
2003: Jim Ross’ Stone Cold Stunner
2004: John Cena’s Five Knuckle Shuffle fistdrop / Scotty 2 Hotty’s Worm chop (tie)
2005: Viscera’s Visagra rear mount
2006-08: The Great Khali’s skull chop
2009: Hornswoggle’s Tadpole Splash frog splash
2011: Kelly Kelly’s screaming headscissors
2012: The Great Khali’s skull chop
2013: The Miz’ figure-four leglock
| NOMINEE | 1st | 2nd | 3rd | TOTAL |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| MOJO RAWLEY'S HYPERDRIVE RUNNING BUTTDROP | 148 | 80 | 39 | 1058 |
| Big Show's knockout punch | 120 | 62 | 71 | 928 |
| John Cena's Five Knuckle Shuffle fistdrop | 71 | 68 | 49 | 657 |
| Emma's Cobra ensocked striking blow | 51 | 63 | 60 | 564 |
| The Great Khali's skull chop | 60 | 58 | 33 | 540 |
ED REESE: With most wrestling finishers, I can kinda go with the explanation that you have to wear your opponent down before you can hit them with it, the occasional surprise flash-finish notwithstanding. But with Big Show… I just can’t ever understand why he doesn’t immediately punch his opponent and win every match.
BENTLEY: You know, for a move that keeps actually breaking people’s necks, AJ Styles’ Styles Clash sure doesn’t look very scary.
To be given to the worst wrestling match you’ve seen this year, either live, on TV, PPV, or in an arena, or on tape. If it took place in the past year, it is eligible.
1990: 06/13 – Ric Flair vs. Junkyard Dog
1991: 05/19 – El Gigante vs. Sid Vicious
1992: 01/18 – Beverly Brothers vs. Bushwhackers
1993: 04/04 – Yokozuna (WWE title) v. Hulk Hogan
1994: 09/18 – Steve Austin (WCW U.S. Title) v. Jim Duggan
1995: 03/19 – Hulk Hogan vs. Vader (leather strap match)
1996: 03/24 – Hulk Hogan & Randy Savage vs. Ric Flair & Arn Anderson & Lex Luger & Kevin Sullivan & Meng & Barbarian & Ze Gangsta & Ultimate Solution (Doomsday Cage match)
1997: 10/26 – Hulk Hogan vs. Rowdy Roddy Piper (cage)
1998: 10/25 – Hollywood Hogan vs. Warrior
1999: 09/26 – Al Snow vs. Big Boss Man (Kennel from Hell)
2000: 06/25 – Pat Patterson vs. Gerald Brisco (hardcore evening gown)
2001: 07/02 – Booker T (WCW) vs. Buff Bagwell
2002: 07/08 – Jackie Gayda & Christopher Nowinski vs. Trish Stratus & Bradshaw (mixed tag)
2003: 01/19 – Triple H (WWE WHC) vs. Scott Steiner
2004: 03/14 – Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg
2005: 04/18 – Jim Ross vs. Triple H (no DQ)
2006: 06/26 – Kane vs. Impostor Kane
2007: 01/08 – “Donald Trump” vs. “Rosie O’Donnell”
2008: 03/30 – Chavo Guerrero (ECW) vs. Kane
2009: 07/19 – Jenna Morasca vs. Sharmell
2011: 03/13 – Jeff Hardy (TNA World) v. Sting
2012: 04/01 – Daniel Bryan (WWE WHC) v. Sheamus
2013: 11/24 – Randy Orton (WWE title) v. Big Show
| NOMINEE | 1st | 2nd | 3rd | TOTAL |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 12/14: ERICK ROWAN v. BIG SHOW (STAIRS MATCH) | 111 | 121 | 65 | 1048 |
| 09/15: Cameron v. Naomi | 105 | 59 | 41 | 784 |
| 06/23: Stephanie McMahon vs. Vickie Guerrero (pudding-wrestling retirement match) | 88 | 65 | 58 | 751 |
| 05/04: Bray Wyatt v. John Cena (cage) | 88 | 42 | 58 | 682 |
| 01/26: Royal Rumble match | 94 | 29 | 46 | 651 |
DANIEL M. DAMICO: I, for one, was disappointed John Cena didn’t feud with Singing Cultist Child for three PPVs, where he ultimately went over but Singing Cultist Child looked super-strong, guys.
CHRISTOPHER BIRD: The Stairs Match gets all the votes because it’s such a stupid idea, but really, “chairs matches” are just as goddamn stupid an idea. They’re just older so people are used to them. That having been said, the Ryback/Kane chairs match at TLC-and-S was way worse than the Erick Rowan/Big Show one, and Rowan/Big Show was bad already.
To be given to the feud that nobody cared about at all this year. When they were pushing the feud on TV, you’d go to the fridge for a snack.
Previous Winners:
1990: Hulk Hogan vs. Earthquake
1991: Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter
1992: Ultimate Warrior vs. Papa Shango
1993: The Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez
1994: Doink vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
1995: Hulk Hogan vs. Dungeon of Doom
1996: Big Bubba vs. John Tenta
1997: Nation of Domination vs. Disciples of Apocalypse vs. Los Boricuas
1998: Warrior vs. Hollywood Hogan
1999: No Limit Soldiers vs. West Texas Rednecks
2000: Big Show vs. Big Boss Man
2001: Undertaker vs. Diamond Dallas Page
2002: Triple H vs. Kane
2003: Stephanie McMahon vs. Vince McMahon
2004: Chavo Guerrero vs. Jacqueline
2005: McMahon Family vs. Jim Ross
2006: Mr. McMahon (& Shane McMahon) vs. D-generation X
2007: Mr. McMahon vs. Bobby Lashley / Voodoo Kin Mafia vs. Christy Hemme (tie)
2008: Kane vs. Rey Mysterio
2009: Chavo Guerrero vs. Hornswoggle
2011: Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole
2012: AJ Styles v. Claire Lynch
2013: Big Show v. The Authority
| NOMINEE | 1st | 2nd | 3rd | TOTAL |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| BRIE BELLA v. NIKKI BELLA | 199 | 73 | 84 | 1382 |
| John Cena v. Bray Wyatt | 153 | 76 | 89 | 1171 |
| John Cena v. The Authority | 99 | 67 | 51 | 798 |
| Fandango v. Layla and Summer Rae | 56 | 107 | 62 | 725 |
| Bull Dempsey v. Mojo Rawley | 40 | 33 | 50 | 399 |
OCOURT: For some inexplicable reason, the Bella/Stephanie clusterfuck was placed as the #2 storyline on RAW for several months. It ended with Brie re-uniting with Nikki and complete status-quo resuming. Nothing was accomplished other than fulfilling a Stephanie McMahon ego trip.
J. MURPHY: Randy Orton vs. Batista, especially in that it took CM Punk rage-quitting the entire business to stop it. What an embarrassing situation for this company to put itself in. Credit to them for doing the right thing at WM.
YOUR HOT CUP OF RANT: The only positive thing that came from the entire Cena v Wyatt feud is it kind of helped the Usos. Otherwise it accomplished nothing, helped no one and meant nothing.
DANIEL M. DAMICO: Honestly, a Bellas feud could be really interesting. They’re both better wrestlers than they get credit for, and it could be a fun sibling rivalry. Instead, we got Total Divas vignettes, then the whole thing was dropped. For…no reason at all.
CHRISTOPHER BIRD: Your reminder that technically, the Adam Rose/Bunny feud is still ongoing.
To be given to the wrestling news item that most disappointed you when heard of it. When you first learned of this news story, you couldn’t believe that it was true, and when you learned that it was, you were bummed out for a while.
Previous Winners:
1991: Scott Steiner gets injured
1992: Legion of Doom: Hawk & Animal split up
1993: WWF brings Hulk Hogan back and gives him the title
1994: WCW signs Hulk Hogan and makes him World champion
1995: Death of Eddie Gilbert
1996: Scott Hall and/or Kevin Nash leave WWF and/or join WCW
1997: Death of Brian Pillman
1998: Death of Louie Spicolli
1999: Death of Owen Hart
2000: David Arquette wins WCW World heavyweight championship
2001: Chris Benoit out for the year after neck surgery
2002: Steve Austin leaves WWE in frustration over creative direction
2003: Death of Curt Hennig
2004: Brock Lesnar leaves WWE to try out for the NFL
2005: Death of Chris Candido
2006: Death of Eddie Guerrero
2007: Chris Benoit commits double murder/suicide
2008: WWE hires Mike Adamle
2009: Death of Mitsuharu Misawa
2011: Death of “Macho Man” Randy Savage
2012: Jerry Lawler suffers near-fatal heart attack on air
2013: Death of Paul Bearer
| NOMINEE | 1st | 2nd | 3rd | TOTAL |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| DANIEL BRYAN SPENDS MOST OF YEAR INJURED | 240 | 248 | 134 | 2212 |
| CM Punk walks out of WWE after the Royal Rumble | 186 | 119 | 154 | 1595 |
| Death of the Ultimate Warrior | 166 | 150 | 92 | 1464 |
| Death of Connor 'Stone Crusher' Michalek | 124 | 54 | 29 | 840 |
| CM Punk alleges medical negligence on part of WWE | 58 | 50 | 52 | 544 |
SPNA001: Never Forget: JTG will live in our hearts forever.
JONAAHHHHH: CM Punk leaving would have been my #1, but after hearing his episodes of Art of Wrestling and learning what it was like for him in the company, I’m happy that he left. Good for him.
W. BROWN: Punk’s accusations have to be number one. They raise the moral complications of watching WWE from “watching the NFL” levels to “watching dog fighting” levels.
DANIEL M. DAMICO: CM Punk’s allegations about the WWE’s medical negligence didn’t necessarily make me immediately sad, like some of the other items on this list. Rather, it was more of a long term disappointment – much like concussions in the NFL, it was a news item that confirmed the company does not give a damn about the health and welfare of its employees, and honestly made me question my fandom in its entirety.
CINCY: Even if you were a Warrior hater (which I was), you had to be shocked at his sudden death. One day after stepping into a WWE ring for the first time since 1996, he was gone. At least he made peace with Vince.
To be given to the commentator/announcer who makes the dumbest comments while pushing his product. This person probably gets you to turn down the TV when he/she is announcing. From 1992 to 2012, this award was divided into two awards for announcers and colour commentators. In 2013, it was recombined.
Previous Winners:
1990: Vince McMahon
1991: Vince McMahon / Dusty Rhodes
1992: Vince McMahon / Lord Alfred Hayes
1993: Vince McMahon / Randy Savage
1994: Eric Bischoff / Dusty Rhodes
1995: Eric Bischoff / Steve McMichael
1996: Eric Bischoff / Dusty Rhodes
1997: Tony Schiavone / Dusty Rhodes
1998: Tony Schiavone / Larry Zybysko
1999: Tony Schiavone / Jason Hervey
2000-01: Tony Schiavone / Mark Madden
2002-03: Jim Ross / Jerry Lawler
2004-05: Jonathan Coachman / Jerry Lawler
2006: Todd Grisham / Don West
2007: Mike Tenay / Don West
2008: Mike Adamle / Don West
2009: Michael Cole / Don West
2011: Michael Cole / Taz
2012: Michael Cole / Jerry Lawler
2013: Michael Cole
| NOMINEE | 1st | 2nd | 3rd | TOTAL |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| MICHAEL COLE | 329 | 208 | 144 | 2557 |
| JBL | 261 | 209 | 171 | 2274 |
| Jerry Lawler | 209 | 206 | 200 | 2063 |
| Alex Riley | 62 | 73 | 103 | 735 |
| Taz | 40 | 62 | 53 | 492 |
MR. ZENG: HAHA HE’S TWERKIN MAGGLE AH LOVE IT WE GOT US A FLYIN USO FEAR THE BULL
SPNA001: Matt Striker. The worst type of nerd who has to constantly name-drop and reference shit in order to show off how smart and cool he is. I know several people like this in real life which makes him even more insufferable for me. As for JBL, he’s a heel who forgets that he’s a heel sometimes, as long as he can shout out annoying catchphrases. During matches the only thing that spews from his mouth is an unending stream of shit that covers everything and fills the arena with his shit and everything is ruined. Unlike good heel commentators like Heenan and Ventura, he just yells over the babyface when they tell him to shut up so that the shit spewing from his mouth never ever ends. MAGGLE.
STRONGBADFREAK: I love JBL when he drops references to Great Kabuki and Yukon Eric. I do not love JBL when he is all WE GOT OURSELVES A FLYIN’ GOAT AND THE GOAT IS TWERKIN’ and seemingly forgetting move names or the fact he was head of NXT for a while.
B CANZE: The order is virtually interchangeable, but the Raw announce team is just fucking unbearable. Jerry Lawler gets the #1 spot for bringing absolutely nothing to the table and doing such since being rehired by the company in 2001.
W.C. BICKNELL: I really wouldn’t mind writing JBL in all three spots. He’s absolutely the most counterproductive announcer since Rob Bartlett.
To be given to the person who gives the worst interview in the biz. This could be a wrestler or a manager.
Previous Winners:
1990: Ultimate Warrior
1991: El Gigante
1992: Ultimate Warrior
1993: Giant Gonzalez
1994: Yokozuna
1995: Hulk Hogan
1996-97: Ahmed Johnson
1998: Warrior
1999: Sid Vicious
2000: Hardy Boyz
2001: Linda McMahon
2002: Triple H
2003: Al Wilson
2004: Lita
2005: Linda McMahon
2006-07: The Great Khali
2008: Mike Adamle
2009: The Great Khali
2011: Michael McGillicutty
2012-13: The Great Khali
| NOMINEE | 1st | 2nd | 3rd | TOTAL |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| ROMAN REIGNS | 454 | 118 | 76 | 2776 |
| Brie Bella | 122 | 121 | 94 | 1159 |
| John Cena | 55 | 74 | 69 | 635 |
| The Great Khali | 62 | 49 | 50 | 557 |
| Nikki Bella | 44 | 78 | 48 | 550 |
OCOURT: *Roman Reigns face*
ICE COLD WATER: Dixie Carter, hands down. She is a beautiful, intelligent woman….but please NEVER EVER put a mic in her hands again. Maybe keyboards should be off limits as well.
LUCIOLA LOCKHEART: Brie. Is so bad. So bad at talking. So very bad. Compare her next to Steph, and watch her crash and burn.
W. BROWN: Is it fair to rank Jack Swagger this high when it seems like he just doesn’t know how to make his mouth form words?
To be given to the worst angle you’ve seen in the sport this year. It may be the worst because of taste or because of execution.
Previous Winners:
1990: Earthquake breaks Hulk’s ribs & get well card drive / Black Scorpion (tie)
1991: WWF exploits the Gulf war
1992: Papa Shango curses the Ultimate Warrior
1993: WCW’s Cactus Jack gets amnesia; search leads to Cleveland
1994: WCW gives Hulk Hogan the WCW Title
1995: WCW bills Giant as Andre the Giant’s alleged son
1996: Jim Ross announces return of Razor Ramon and Diesel to WWF
1997: Brian Pillman claims paternity of Dakota Runnells
1998: “Mysterious laughter” source revealed as Chucky the doll
1999: Big Show’s father stricken with cancer; Big Boss Man exploits it
2000: Mae Young’s pregnancy results in birth of hand
2001: Triple H quickly returns from fall inside car dropped from forklift
2002: Triple H reveals Kane’s role in a death – and immediately afterwards simulates sex with dead body
2003: Dawn Marie, Al Wilson give new meaning to “’til death do us part”
2004: Kane stalks, then impregnates, then marries Lita
2005: Masked men attack Undertaker after Daivari is “sacrificed” in match
2006: Vickie Guerrero turns on Rey Mysterio
2007: Mr. McMahon presumed dead after limousine explodes
2008: JBL reveals that Finlay, not Mr. McMahon, is Hornswoggle’s father
2009: Thanks to guest hosts, Chavo Guerrero no match for Hornswoggle
2011: Michael Cole endlessly mocks Jim Ross without any kind of payoff
2012: Claire Lynch claims AJ Styles is the father of her unborn child
2013: Big Show interferes in Battleground main event, match ends without explanation
| NOMINEE | 1st | 2nd | 3rd | TOTAL |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| BATISTA RETURNS TO WIN THE ROYAL RUMBLE | 173 | 65 | 83 | 1226 |
| Bella Twins forget about their feud because they're sisters | 131 | 88 | 76 | 1071 |
| Dean Ambrose loses TLC match against Bray Wyatt when a monitor explodes in his face | 72 | 88 | 75 | 774 |
| Bray Wyatt defeats John Cena with the aid of a creepy child | 79 | 64 | 69 | 725 |
| The New Day debut as happy fun-loving black people who love to have fun | 63 | 76 | 70 | 683 |
MISS SWEETSWEET: The return of the Authority is my #1, if only because it made the Survivor Series match, thus the WWE debut of Sting, meaningless. What was the point of all the build up and the match itself if things would just return to the status quo within 5 weeks?
W. BROWN: Dolph’s my favorite wrestler, but that photo-doxxing segment was as embarrassing and problematic as anything since DX wore blackface.
GRAY PUDDING: The reason why Cesaro becoming a Heyman guy is ranked so high is that it could have worked. They would have made an awesome combo and could have led to Lesnar vs Cesaro down the road. But: no.
To be given to what is on average the worst wrestling TV show. In 1994, TV shows and major shows were given separate award categories.
Previous Winners:
1994: WCW Worldwide
1995: WWF Mania
1996: AWF Warriors of Wrestling
1997: WWF LiveWire
1998: WCW Worldwide
1999-2000: WCW Thunder
2001: (tie) WWF Excess / WCW Thunder
2002: WWF Excess
2003: WWE RAW
2004-05: The WWE Experience
2006: WWE RAW
2007: Wrestling Society X
2008: Hulk Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling
2009: TNA Impact!
2011: WWE NXT
2012-13: TNA iMPACT! Wrestling
| NOMINEE | 1st | 2nd | 3rd | TOTAL |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| WWE TOTAL DIVAS | 271 | 116 | 79 | 1861 |
| WWE RAW | 208 | 90 | 101 | 1514 |
| TNA Impact! Wrestling | 182 | 135 | 92 | 1499 |
| WWE Smackdown | 72 | 119 | 76 | 869 |
| WWE Legends House | 60 | 86 | 63 | 684 |
CAP’N ANDY: I was so psyched for Monday Night Wars. What I wanted was a show going through the Monday Night Wars in chronological order, showing what each promotion was doing and how the other side responded. And, y’know, that’s what the first episode was — and the first episode was really good! Then they decided to do each episode as a focus on a gimmick instead, so you get a confusing mess where last week there was no such thing as DX, and then suddenly halfway through this episode DX gets mentioned in passing as a thing that’s been around for months, and then in two weeks there’s an episode about DX. I’m not mad, Monday Night Wars. I’m just very disappointed in you.
SPNA001: Raw has been unwatchable for months, and has approached 2000 WCW for terribleness. it’s so bad.
JESUS RICE: Monday Night Wars gets a worst because it was a great idea that was poorly executed. The first ten minutes of every episode was pretty much identical. The bias against WCW was ridiculous and the lack of any critical analysis of the WWE product was glaringly embarrassing. I wish they brought in an outside editor to put these kind of specials together, so they don’t feel like a corporate circle jerk.
CHRISTOPHER BIRD: Total Divas is like “what if “Queen of Jordan” from 30 Rock was a real thing except about pro wrestlers instead?”
To be given to the worst major event. This could be a pay-per-view, a TV special, or any big arena event. In 1994, TV shows and major shows were given separate award categories.
Previous Winners:
1991: WCW Great American Bash
1992: WWF This Tuesday In Texas
1993: WWF WrestleMania IX
1994: WWF King of the Ring
1995-96: WCW Uncensored
1997: NWO Souled Out
1998: WCW Road Wild
1999: Heroes of Wrestling
2000: WCW Halloween Havoc
2001: WCW Sin
2002: WWE King of the Ring
2003: WWE Bad Blood / 05/19/03: WWE Judgment Day (tie)
2004-06: WWE Great American Bash
2007: ECW December to Dismember
2008: WWE Night of Champions / 05/11/08: TNA Sacrifice (tie)
2009-11: TNA Victory Road
2012: Extreme Reunion
2013: WWE Battleground
| NOMINEE | 1st | 2nd | 3rd | TOTAL |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| WWE TABLES LADDERS AND CHAIRS… AND STAIRS | 452 | 119 | 81 | 2779 |
| WWE Battleground | 127 | 106 | 94 | 1141 |
| WWE Royal Rumble | 96 | 73 | 56 | 811 |
| WWE Hell In The Cell | 48 | 86 | 76 | 650 |
| WWE Night of Champions | 36 | 77 | 65 | 541 |
DANIEL DIQUAN: The “…And Stairs” was enough for a worst all by itself… then I watched the show. Wow. A really bad wow.
CINCY: A show with five candidates for worst match deserves the honor.
CHRISTOPHER BIRD: TLC&S, like Hell In A Cell and Extreme Rules, suffers from the fact that WWE “hardcore” matches are rarely anything hardcore any more. They’re all the same PG-rated weapon-assisted violence, with the same three or four weapons (steel chair, kendo stick, ladder, table), never any blood (and although I’m not desperate for it, the very occasional truly epic brawl SHOULD be bloody) and intermittent selling. They’re all the same show, with different levels of meh.
To be given to the worst move made by a promotion this past year. This could include giving somebody a push, demoting someone, firing someone hiring someone, or anything of a promotional nature.
Previous Winners:
1991: WCW loses Ric Flair
1992: WCW bans off the top rope moves under Bill Watts
1993: WCW tapes 13 weeks of TV at one time in Orlando, Fla.
1994: WCW lets Hulk Hogan control his scenarios
1995: WCW gives Hulk Hogan too much control
1996: WWF lets Scott Hall and/or Kevin Nash go
1997: Sting doesn’t wrestle for the entire year
1998: WCW sues Ric Flair, causing nearly five month absence from television
1999: (Tie) WCW lets big names go / WCW signs musical acts for Nitro
2000: WCW gives Benoit, Guerrero, Malenko, and Saturn requested releases
2001: WWF botches seemingly surefire WWF/WCW “interpromotional” storyline
2002: WWE airs simulated necrophilia in attempt to foster controvery
2003: WWE pushes McMahons, announcers rather then pushing wrestlers
2004: WWE runs Diva Search during multiple segments of many weeks of RAW
2005: WWE airs “terrorist attack” on Undertaker soon after London bombings
2006: WWE repeatedly uses Eddie Guerrero’s death as storyline material
2007: TNA books title win for Pacman Jones despite “no contact” clause
2008: WWE hires Mike Adamle
2009: TNA hires same players that brought about the demise of WCW
2011: TNA allows Jeff Hardy to perform in impaired state at Victory Road
2012: WWE extends RAW to three hours
2013: WWE puts Daniel Bryan push on hold in favour of John Cena and Randy Orton
| NOMINEE | 1st | 2nd | 3rd | TOTAL |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| VINCE McMAHON BURIES MUCH OF WWE ROSTER IN 'CANDID' INTERVIEW WITH STEVE AUSTIN | 242 | 140 | 132 | 1894 |
| WWE fires Alberto Del Rio after Rio suffers racist incident | 113 | 113 | 66 | 1036 |
| TNA secretly re-hires Vince Russo | 82 | 62 | 86 | 768 |
| WWE writes almost all Divas angles to coincide with Total Divas storylines | 50 | 73 | 81 | 631 |
| WWE pushes Roman Reigns | 59 | 65 | 32 | 554 |
SPNA001: A few years ago, MGK said that firing Vince Russo is automatically the best promotional move a company could make. The corollary to that is obviously that hiring him (in secret no less!) is automatically the worst thing it could do.
GRAY PUDDING: For the record, Grumpy Cat is exempt from any criticism. Best Raw guest host ever. She knew to shut the hell up and glare.
