38 users responded in this post

Subscribe to this post comment rss or trackback url
mygif

“It is made of solid Holycrappium,”

That made my day.

ReplyReply
mygif
CandidGamera said on February 26th, 2009 at 9:20 am

And of course Rex the Wonder Dog chases the War Wheel every time it rolls by his house – but he *does* know what he’d do if he caught it.

ReplyReply
mygif

Wasn’t the War Wheel in that one Justice League episode where the team traveled back in time to World War II and fought Vandal Savage?

ReplyReply
mygif

Not to bring physics into it, even mad physics, but how does it turn?

And was this thing ever on Super Friends? I’m getting a very strong “I’ve seen this in a cartoon” impression (and, no, Episode III doesn’t count). Maybe the JLU episode with the Blackhawks?

ReplyReply
mygif
K. McAleese said on February 26th, 2009 at 10:04 am

John said on February 26th, 2009 at 9:57 am: Not to bring physics into it, even mad physics, but how does it turn?

I’m pretty sure it’s either nuclear fission or mad hamsters. Maybe both, in which case the mad hamsters are also mutants…which makes total sense in comic-book physics and biology!

ReplyReply
mygif

Yes, there were War Wheels in the Blackhawks episode of JLU. Also in the multi-part JL goes back in time and fights Vandal Savage episodes from an earlier season.

ReplyReply
mygif

I could tell from the picture alone that this was going to be either a total failure or an absolute win.

ReplyReply
mygif

…this appeared on the 90s Spider-Man animated series. I’m totally serious; the color scheme was green and blue and the villains using it were glorified XTREEEEM bank robbers, but this was what they used. Seriously, does anyone remember this? It was the ROcket Racer episode (yes, Rocket Racer was in the 90s Spider-Man show as well).

ReplyReply
mygif

Since it’s 91% “Rex the Mother-Fucking Wonderdog,” it should probably be henceforth referred to as “the War Mother-Fucking Wheel.”

ReplyReply
mygif

rbx5: That was Big Wheel, not War Wheel.

ReplyReply
mygif

The only thing better would be a Honda Civic jacked up on 4 of these bitches.

ReplyReply
mygif

Do you take requests? Cuz it’s just a crime that a certain Vartox has never been mentioned.

ReplyReply
mygif

In John Shirley’s “Eclipse” series, the crypto-Nazi security company who were the chief baddies used things like these as terror and anti-insurgency weapons (though IIRC, their PR justification was that they were used for clearing rubble).

Near the end of the first book, one was driven through the Arc d’Triomphe.

ReplyReply
mygif
MarvinAndroid said on February 26th, 2009 at 12:26 pm

For those wondering how the War Wheel turns…

It doesn’t! War Wheel needs none of your pathetic “turning!” When War Wheel wants to change direction, it simply changes the direction the Earth is facing! War Wheel runs over physics like it runs over pathetic humans!

ReplyReply
mygif

It has always been insane to me that so many heroes, who got their start saving ferris wheels at county fairs would conveniently forget how to wreck one when one of these things came barreling down on them.

ReplyReply
mygif
HitTheTargets said on February 26th, 2009 at 12:38 pm

The people behind the Victory Gundam anime made something like the War Wheel, only they hollowed that sucker out so that giant robots could ride around in it like an overgrown Segway. That’s only a sideways step in crazy, but a huge step back for AWESOME.

ReplyReply
mygif

The War Wheel turns when all the Nazis inside lean to the right or left.

Also: This is why my Blackhawk pitch involves the War Wheel. On Dinosaur Island.

ReplyReply
mygif

Eye-Roller, you know I happend to pick up an old Action Comic at the flea-market the other day that featured Vartox (don’t recall the number off the top of my head, but his planet had just expolded and he’d abandoned the “Sombero” galaxy for earth). The whole time I could only think “it’s SuperZardoz!” Well, when I wasn’t wondering why he didn’t set up shop at any of the other planets in his galaxy.

ReplyReply
mygif
RobotKeaton said on February 26th, 2009 at 1:22 pm

I hope that in the DCU, the War Wheel manufacturing plant took a path similar to that of Volkswagen, and now people drive around in their own personal War Wheels.

ReplyReply
mygif
Eye-Roller said on February 26th, 2009 at 1:31 pm

@John: Vartox went to Earth, probably because being identical to Sean Connery would get him lots of booty. So he became a security guard and started dating Lana Lang. Later, he did find a planet to protect, but it was full of crazy people who wanted to sacrifice him.
You don’t see characters like these anymore…

ReplyReply
mygif

Actually, I’d say it is even more awesome than Rex the Wonder Dog. Like say 120% on the Rex scale.

ReplyReply
mygif

I love this, I wholeheartedly agree, and Unus the Humiliator is right with me:

http://fullbodytransplant.wordpress.com/2009/02/26/age-of-apocalypse-preview-unus-and-the-infinites/

Good boy, Rex.

ReplyReply
mygif

Oh, duh: I thought the War Wheel appeared in Byrne’s Batman & Captain America, but it was a generic Nazi super-tank. It gets taken out in two pages, because Cap jams his shield into the gears…

If that had been a War Wheel, we’d all be sprechin’ the deutsch.

ReplyReply
mygif

All the argument over how it could turn…

The thing couldn’t even ROLL. The center would just spin around as it sat in place.

ReplyReply
mygif

It’d have to have some sort of stabilizing gyroscope-thing, along with some means of turning the external wheel while the center stayed in place.

It’d… probably work like a super-segway.

ReplyReply
mygif

ER: fair point, but you know if I were Cosmic-Connery I’d go for the “young, trim, full head of hair” Connery. I suppose the “charmingly natural receeding hairline” Connery has its charms, and “distinguished bearded” Connery is full of win, but why in the world would you go for the “thigh-high boots, vest-without a shirt, loincloth and pornstash” edition. Clearly, Sombrero Galaxy logic is quite different from our own.

ReplyReply
mygif
Heksefatter said on February 26th, 2009 at 2:52 pm

*Sniff*

I almost wish that Hitler really conquered Denmark this way. In reality, the invasion itself only cost a handful of lives and all Danish civil institutions survived. The cabinet didn’t even flee or resign following the invasion, opting instead to enter into close cooperation with the Nazis. Had we not joined the US coalition against Iraq, this might have caused us to be dubbed “pastry-eating surrender monkeys.”

I’d totally trade this shame for shitting myself whenever I see a unicycle

ReplyReply
mygif

It’s not a completely unviable design.

http://blog.modernmechanix.com/mags/ModernMechanix/9-1935/unicycle.jpg

Whether it would scale up to something the size of an apartment building is another matter.

ReplyReply
mygif
Constantinople said on February 26th, 2009 at 3:15 pm

I’m curious. How does Holycrappium compare to Goddamnite and Sweetchrismasium?

Oh, my mistake, Goddamnite is a gas at room temperature.

ReplyReply
mygif

That wheel is the reason the US needed both Sgt. Rock AND Rex the Wonder dog.

Plus, it is carried by blimp. I mean…

Yeah.

ReplyReply
mygif

Hitler used it to conquer Denmark all by itself, which is why now, in the DC universe, Danish people shit themselves whenever they see a unicycle.

Well played sir. Masterfully in fact. I nearly snorted my soda reading that bit.

ReplyReply
mygif
Craig Oxbrow said on February 26th, 2009 at 5:06 pm

So awesome, it went into the Amalgam Universe completely unchanged except for blaming Zemo for it.

ReplyReply
mygif

I feel obliged to point out Captain Carrot #16 to anyone fascinated by big wheels, or in this case, “The Screaching Tyre”, manned of course by a hamster jogger named Starsky N Hatch.

http://www.comics-db.com/comic-book/1016640-Captain_Carrot_16.html

ReplyReply
mygif

That tank in the Batman/Captain America book was extremely rounded though. I wonder if initially it was drawn as a warwheel?

ReplyReply
mygif

World War 2 had the War Wheel, Iron Munro and Baron Blizkreig.

World War Hulk had…what, exactly?

ReplyReply
mygif

Actually, I’d say it is even more awesome than Rex the Wonder Dog. Like say 120% on the Rex scale.

To make the War Wheel as awesome as Rex the Wonder Dog you would have to use it to do all the ridiculous things that Rex the Wonder Dog does. It would have to be like,

In this issue: War Wheel wrestles a T-Rex!

In this issue: War Wheel lassos a bull!

In this issue: War Wheel parachutes into a war zone!

In this issue: War Wheel hijacks a War Wheel!

ReplyReply
mygif

[…] wall preventing American superheroes from attacking them. Or maybe an undercover op to destroy the War Wheel Mark II before it can be deployed at Arnhem. Control could have any number of great and relatively […]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Please Note: Comment moderation may be active so there is no need to resubmit your comments