I bet the UK version is called “Being Myrtle”

I’m thinking Coach wins as well, because the editing doesn’t point towards anybody else. If a non-“All Star” doesn’t win (or Brandon, though he might be more Section 8 than Phillip), the winner will get the least amount of recognition at the reunion ever . . . or at least since Bob won Gabon. The gang from The Early Show won’t give Coach and Ozzy all-over tongue baths, but only because Probst will do that on Sunday night, embarrassing himself yet again in the process.

I don’t remember the last season with players of average intelligence. Samoa was filled with dummies, as well as Russell Hantz, a guy who “got” the game, except for the whole “not piss people off” and “not invoke karma” things. There were morons on both sides of Heroes Vs. Villains, culminating in dumbass JT giving Russell an immunity idol. Because Mark Burnett got an erection during the Rob/Russell sniping at the HvV reunion, he set up Redemption Island . . . but first, he found the biggest bunch of losers and nitwits for Nicaragua, so that fans would welcome the veterans with more open arms. And after Russell’s tribe kicked him off and Matt made him cry like a bitch at Redemption Island, everybody just carried Rob to $1,000,000 that, quite frankly, he did not deserve.

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How do you ballet being a mermaid? I hope there’s a lot of flopping involved.

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