Something something oh no it’s a tornado what will we do oh no etc.

Seriously, do we even have to bother pointing out that the tornado is no match for the likes of Rex the motherfucking Wonder Dog? It seems almost counterproductive to say it these days.

Some stupid human has gone and injured themselves on a mountain! Whatever will they do? Perhaps they need the aid of a St. Bernard!

No, of course they don’t need no crap-ass St. Bernard. St. Bernards are for suckers. If you’re smart, you get the help of Rex the motherfucking Wonder Dog.

BONUS: Rex demonstrates his mad aerial skills.

See, all the hype lately is about how Grant Morrison is going to write a story where Batman travels through time and is Batman in different eras. But Batman is totally stealing this schtick. Who beat him to it?

Obviously, Batman draws his inspiration from Rex the motherfucking Wonder Dog, as is right and proper.

Many heroes would have trouble, were they attacked by a giant vicious attack rabbit.

However, Rex the motherfucking Wonder Dog has a plan for moments exactly such as these. This is the beginning of plan #3,851. The ending of this plan has been censored by the appropriate authorities.

Yeah, you just keep telling yourself that, Mr. Thinks He’s The Leading Man. “Ancestor.” Instead of the truth right before your eyes, which is that ancient Egyptians somehow came to worship Rex the motherfucking Wonder Dog.

As we all know thanks to Science, the octopus is one of the smartest animals under the sea – and when enraged, it becomes deadly! What do you do? What do you do?

Thankfully, you can breathe underwater and therefore have no worries that you can defeat the beast, seeing as how you are Rex the motherfucking Wonder Dog.

Now, a bear weighs approximately seven hundred and fifty pounds. A large German shepherd weighs about ninety pounds. It should be essentially impossible for a dog to knock over a bear.

However, certain dogs have mastered the science of Rexonomics, which enables one, through the use of specific equations, to change one’s own body mass, not unlike the Vision except without the horrible color scheme. Certain dogs such as Rex the motherfucking Wonder Dog.

If you had any doubt that Rex the Wonder Dog views physics as being strictly optional, watch how he rescues people from burning buildings.

EXTRA BONUS: Proof that Rex the Wonder Dog has walked on the surface of the sun.

this is probably the closest we will get to a Rex The Wonder Dog teevee show any time soon.

When you need a photographer, you can’t just settle for some down-on-his-luck freelancer. You need the best: someone with the composition skill of Ansel Adams and the balls and timing of Eddie Adams.

You know who you go to when you need the best, don’t you?

Damn straight – you hire Rex the motherfucking Wonder Dog.

Top comment: Rex is already a better writer than David Brooks. – tinheart

Stupid humans! Can’t speak dog! Can’t even understand dog!

Luckily, it turns out that “descending to lesser beings’ level” is a specialty of Rex the motherfucking Wonder Dog.

Top comment: “The dog is trying to communicate with us. Let’s see… good lord, Sam, this dog is drawing a bong!” – End of the World

Some have suggested that this dog is a real-life approximation of Rex the Wonder Dog.

However, even if we ignore the fact that this is clearly a training scenario and not an actual hostile takedown (not that this dog knew that, of course), you will note that the crucial difference is that Rex the Wonder Dog would have caught the bullets in his mouth and spat them back at either his attacker or possibly a secondary evildoer.

Top comment: And Rex would’ve gone THROUGH the car window. – Chenry

A giant vampire bat might pose problems to certain heroic individuals. After all, giant vampire bats are, let us be honest, usually giant vampires. In bat form. And if you don’t have a crucifix handy, what do you do?

Maybe you go old school on that vampire, if your name is Rex the motherfucking Wonder Dog.

Top comment: Fact: Rex the Wonder Dog is considered a religious symbol for 9 out of 10 religions. (The last one is Scientology, because L Ron Hubbard knew incorporating Rex into Scientology would infuriate Rex.) – Thok

Via reader Josh R.:

Top comment: Shit, MGK, way to blow his cover. After he went to all the trouble of getting the giant afro body wig and custom lei fitted, not to mention playing the “cute and playful” card to distract the international press corps from the growing pile of brutally savaged dead assassins round the corner. – Will

Some days, when you’re armed with a gun, nothing goes right. You take aim down your barrel and fire – then fire again – and again – and every time you miss. Is it the shakes? Is it lack of skill? Lack of nerve?

Or maybe it’s because you were fool enough to square off with Rex the motherfucking Wonder Dog.

Top comment: The hunter’s problem was using the wrong weapon for hunting a Wonder Dog. Instead of a rifle, you probably want some sort of a nuclear weapon. – Thok