MOVIE: Superbad PLOT SUMMARY Heroically-loserish teenagers attempt to get booze for big party to impress the girls they like MOVIE EQUALS American Pie plus Revenge of the Nerds DIRECTED BY Greg Mottola WHO LAST DIRECTED a bunch of TV, most notably episodes of Arrested Development WAS THAT ANY GOOD? Fuck, it’s Arrested Development, you have […]

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How to write a story for Weird War Tales: STEP 1. Put in some vampires. STEP 2. You’re done! PS. What happened three days after that was that there were now more vampires. You’re welcome.

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When a press screening of a romantic dramedy gets a good round of laughs from the assembled critics when it’s supposed to be funny, that’s at least a solid double. (No, not saying which film it was yet. I will say it was a bit predictable, and at times a bit forced, but the performances […]

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SCENE. A studio BIGWIG and his three JUNIOR EXECUTIVES are sitting in his office. BIGWIG: I find myself in a disagreeable mood, boys. FIRST JUNIOR EXECUTIVE: Oh, no! SECOND JUNIOR EXECUTIVE: We’ll do anything to make it better! THIRD JUNIOR EXECUTIVE: They really will. BIGWIG: I appreciate that. But I need only answers. How much […]

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Originally written July 9th, 2007. SCENE. A STUDIO BIGWIG and THREE JUNIOR EXECUTIVES are sitting at a table. BIGWIG: Gentlemen! I’m glad you could all arrive for today’s meeting. FIRST JUNIOR EXECUTIVE: Glad to! SECOND JUNIOR EXECUTIVE: Always! THIRD JUNIOR EXECUTIVE: If we didn’t, you’d fire us. BIGWIG: Yes. Now, after our recent bit of […]

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Now, the networks are horribly pissed off that all their pre-air premiere episodes are leaking onto the intersphere via Bittorrent. (Unofficial motto of mightygodking.com: “it’s not my fault if somebody in your organization leaks shit.”) But their loss is your gain, because now you can figure out if you want to watch these shows before […]

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Even when they’re brought forward in time and given a suit of alien battle armor. From X-O Manowar #3.

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The law school guide says that a good guideline for study is two hours for every hour of class the day before you study. This is great, except that on Tuesdays I have seven hours of class. (Six on Mondays, so loading up over the weekend is going to be happening a lot, I guess…)

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Originally written October 9, 2004. SCENE: A STUDIO BIGWIG and THREE JUNIOR EXECUTIVES are sitting at a table. BIGWIG: All righty. Next on the docket – Fat Albert. Why haven’t we made a movie of Fat Albert yet? FIRST JUNIOR: You know, I was just asking myself that the other day. SECOND JUNIOR: I long […]

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Click for larger version with legible small print.

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KIRK: Why are people still out with their families so late? STEVE: It’s the CNE [Canadian National Exhibition, for those not in the know] – they’re just getting back. KIRK: That started? ME: Yeah, last week. BEN: Man, I should go to that. ME: Ah, the only reason to go is for those little donuts. […]

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Starter triathlon time: 59:32. About ten minutes for the swim, twenty-two for the cycling, twenty-four for the run, the rest was changeover. I was aiming for under an hour, which put me in the bottom half of the middle of the pack. Mostly because of the run. (How do people run for fun? I don’t […]

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Originally written May 5th, 2006. NOTE: This really happened. SCENE: Silver Snail Comics, where it is Free Comic Book Day. Enter CHRIS, bearing a cheapo Stikfas blister pack and a bunch of free comics. THE ASSISTANT SALESPERSON waits patiently. ASSISTANT: And that will be seven dollars. CHRIS: (hands it over generously) ASSISTANT: Would you like […]

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Church documents crimes against humanity.

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SCENE. A bar. With drinks. And law students entering the Osgoode Hall class of 2010. PROSPECTIVE LAW STUDENT: God, I am so sick of being called an “untouchable.” ME: Those Hindus and their castes. Wacky. PROSPECTIVE: No, I mean the Friedman thing. ME (who knows what he’s talking about, but is enjoying his Strongbow, so […]

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