FACT. The Count lives in a large, Gothic-ish castle on a lonely hillside.
FACT. There are no large, Gothic-ish castles upon lonely hillsides in New York City.
FACT. The Count does not have a job in the city.
THUS. The Count has no actual reason to enter into New York City bar his own wishes.
FACT. The child cast of Sesame Street changes frequently and widely. You rarely see the same kids on the show for more than three or four episodes.
FACT. However, the adult cast of Sesame Street changes very, very rarely.
FACT. Everybody seems to take the fact that a vampire is wandering a New York City street with surprising calm.
THUS. We can extrapolate:
The Count travels into the city to feed upon the children of Sesame Street, and the adults of Sesame Street are his willing slaves.
Discuss.
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Or consider Max and Ruby.
Where are their parents? We never see them. We see Grandma a lot: Grandma likes Ruby but more often indulges Max.
We know that Ruby, and her friend Louise, have crushes on Roger Piazza, who is a jerk who isn’t nice to them at all.
We know that Ruby is always taking care of Max.
So: I believe that Max and Ruby are not brother and sister. Max is Ruby’s son; the father was some jerk who boffed Ruby and abandoned her. Grandma is Ruby’s mom. Ruby will continue to make poor romantic choices unless it turns out that she and Louise are gay, which would really be the best-case scenario as they’re obviously perfect for each other.
Conclusion does not follow
This throws a horrible new light on the death of Mr. Hooper.
[…] Mighty God King has a theory that will change the way you look at Sesame Street forever. […]
>>FACT. There are no large, Gothic-ish castles upon lonely hillsides in New York City.
Bzzt!
http://images.google.com/images?q=Belvedere+Castle
http://www.centralpark2000.com/database/belvedere_castle.html
The third image in the google result is quite nice, but I won’t hotlink to it.
[FACT. Everybody seems to take the fact that a vampire is wandering a New York City street with surprising calm.]
After a couple of days in New York you would no longer find this surprising.
He also likes to fuck.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=6AXPnH0C9UA
IS the count a vampire? I mean he LOOKS like one, and he carries the look, but I never did really find out if he was an actual vampire or just a big Bela Lugosi fan with a touch of the Aspergers…
Where’s that pesky ‘the more you know’ rainbow NOW???
He tends to go out in the daylight pretty often for a vampire doesn’t he?
Obviously he’s a Daywalker.
rwe1138: If somebody were to do a Blade trailer remixed with The Count, I would give them a dollar.
Actually, the Count’s going out in daylight isn’t an impediment to his being a vampire. “Sunlight destroys vampires” is a relatively recent addition to vampire lore, coming out of the need for a visually striking ending to the German film, ‘Nosferatu’. It wasn’t until the movies that people started saying vampires couldn’t go out in the day.
Interestingly enough, the Count’s little obsession DOES have roots in vampire lore — in some mythologies, a vamp is forced to do OCD-type things, like untie knots or counts every spilled seed.
If the Count were really old school, he’d make Orlock look like Brad Pitt. Since he doesn’t look like something disgustingly hideous, I think it’s fair to suggest he’s new school.
[…] The truth about Sesame Street’s […]
http://youtube.com/watch?v=cNARJPNz2CA
That is all
> Oort Says:
> He tends to go out in the daylight pretty often for a vampire doesn’t he?
Never slowed down Dracula.
L&c,
F
Well, according to the muppet wiki (http://muppet.wikia.com/wiki/Count_von_Count) he’s nearly two million years old, and in early episodes he didn’t reflect in the mirror, which indicates he’s a bit more than a Lugosi fan – it’s still not clear if he’s an actual vampire, though.
(And here’s a take on the Count as Evil Vampire – warning, may be offensive to Sesame Street fans and some Buffy fans – http://www.tthfanfic.com/Story-10737/Lucinda+Counts+of+Blood.htm )
[…] The truth about Sesame Street’s […]