Some days, when you’re armed with a gun, nothing goes right. You take aim down your barrel and fire – then fire again – and again – and every time you miss. Is it the shakes? Is it lack of skill? Lack of nerve?
Or maybe it’s because you were fool enough to square off with Rex the motherfucking Wonder Dog.
Top comment: The hunter’s problem was using the wrong weapon for hunting a Wonder Dog. Instead of a rifle, you probably want some sort of a nuclear weapon. — Thok
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Somehow this just didn’t thrill me so much after watching him ride a horse across a raging river.
I propose a rewrite in which he holds up a U-shaped pipe that returns the bullets back to the shooter. Either that or a broken pane of glass reflects the shooter’s face and we find it to be Colin Farrell.
Not one of Rex’s more impressive outings.
People! It is all about the DEATH STARE he gives in the final panel. You just know Rex is going to savage that gun-having bastard.
Guys, he’s dodging bullets from like five feet away, Neo would have to sweat a bit to manage that.
Death stare FTW!
There is something malicious in that last panel, really. He understands that the shooter is now helpless, and this pleases him.
The second panel would look like Rex was mocking him, if Rex EVER STOPPED PANTING FOR A SECOND.
Also consider: Taking firearms from people is one of Rex’s favorite things to do. He could take this guy’s gun at any time, but this was early in the morning and he felt like stretching out first.
The alt-text makes this a win for me.
I like that second panel. He’s not just dodging, he’s PRANCING out of the way.
Wow, now I need a Rex skin to play Unreal.
Look at that second panel and try to tell me he couldn’t win So You Think You Can Dance.
That last panel is like a Jack Bauer “I’ll get the information out of you” kind of look.
THAT’S why it’s Rex the motherfucking Wonder Dog.
The hunter’s problem was using the wrong weapon for hunting a Wonder Dog. Instead of a rifle, you probably want a some sort of nuclear weapon.
Thok, Rex has survived no less that three nuclear explosions, at pretty close range, unharmed.
This is going to haunt me in my sleep.
Thank you for not including the next panel.
I really don’t need to see how Jonah Hex ended up looking the way he does at this hour of the day.
The real reason this is impressive is because the gunman didn’t actually run out of ammo. That last panel is Rex showing off his powers of chaos magic by WILLING all the ammo to vanish.
Panel 4: “And then Rex tore the gunman’s face off and fed it to him.”
Not pictured: The preceding panels where Rex catches the bullets. With his but cheeks.
Damn, that is one angry-looking dog. In the next panel, the gun is shoved where the sun don’t shine.
See, most heroes dodge bullets because they need to.
Rex dodges them just for the look of helplessness on the faces of his foes.
Dog will hunt!
Can Rex bite you on the soul?
No. You see, by the time he’s mad enough to attack you, what used to be your soul legally belongs to Rex.
You’re just unlucky enough to be holding his property.
Next panel: “I didn’t run out of bullets. I just left one chamber empty.”
And then Benedict puts down that fucking mutt.
Then Rex gets back up.
And then the comics code is retroactively invented to spare youngsters the world’s brutalest violence.
And then Rex gives Danny a femur to play catch with.
The hunter is just lucky Rex had a big breakfast of freshly killed death cultist pirates and thus didn’t feel like eating the damn bullets as they got shot at him. And then spitting the last one out to kill the hunter.
“Send that one back to the chef, I want it cooked more…in blood!”
Thok said:
“The hunter’s problem was using the wrong weapon for hunting a Wonder Dog. Instead of a rifle, you probably want a some sort of nuclear weapon.”
Oh, right. Like Rex can’t disarm a nuclear bomb.
are my comments invisible?
That last frame is wonderful–it’s the classic Bat-glare, but with drool.
Do we know Rex’s backstory? Does he slink off to howl at his parents’ grave or anything?
Llelldorin: He was retconned into having Captain America’s origin. In the DCU, the treatment was tested on a dog right before the scientist dies, not a human. But I’m sure murdered parents could be added into the mix.