8
Jun
Not Quite Improved Archie
Posted by MGK Published in Archie (Improved Or Otherwise), Comics, Interactive Fun Time PartySearch
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“This Week on Jerry Springer…”
“The fish want’s his bicycle back mother fucker!”
“Jeez Ronnie, I didn’t know you were sitting on that when I suggested Summer’s Eve! I’m SORRY!!!”
“No Monty Python references! NO MONTY PYTHON REFERENCES!!!”
“Ow! I’m gonna have a really bad haddock when this is over!”
“Archie? What’s my safe word?!”
“Smells like FISH?!? I’ll show you smells like fish!”
“Why am I running from a fish-wielding crazy chick? Just for the halibut – WHY DO YOU THINK?!”
“Christ, what an asshole.”
“OK, OK! It was DEFINITELY the fish!”
or
“Why are you just standing there laughing, Arch? I thought we had something…>sob<"
“Alright alright alright!!! But it still tastes like chicken!”
“FLAPJACKS! FLAPJACKS!!!!”
SWEET JESUS RONNIE’S GOT THAT INNSMOUTH LOOK~!
“Damn it, Ronnie, I’m not the one who knocked you up! I was using a condom!”
God, all I said was Betty’s fish tastes fresher!
One fish! Ow! Two fish! Oof! Oh god! Red fish! Somebode-he-hee help meeee…”
“Sure, the first generation babelfish is a little bulky, but I thought you were an early adopter!”
I’ll never draw Mohammed again!
Agape! Agape! Not Eros!
I tho-o-o-ought they were endangered!
Nobody laughs at Veronica Fish!
“What the hell is wrong with pepper spray?!”
“Noooooo! Stooooooooop! Hellllllllllp!”
Caption: After trying Dilton’s stash, Archie & Chuck never bought from Jughead again.
“This – is what happens – when you fuck around – with Yakuza!”
“Alright, alright! No more double entandre about fish sticks, I SWEAR!”
“I know why they’re fucking well conjoined at the tail! You’ve been SLEEPING AROUND again, you wet-cocked gill-sucker!”
“I knew that Lovecraft joke was in poor taste!”
“I should never have introduced you to Lew Zealand!”
‘Okay, okay! You ARE a direct descendant of the emperor Tiberius!!’
Nobdy’s going to get this, are they?
Ow! Jesus! All I said was “Fuck Dadaism!”
I got it immediately, Mary. Where’s the crab, though?
Stop!I’m sorry I insulted nihlism! Please, I’m allergic to fish!
“Stop, stop. I’m not even a Pisces! I LIIIIIIED!”
Argh, my shoulder! Dislocated again!
Stig– I had forgottn about the crab. I had to hurriedly flip through my copy of Seutonius to find out what you were referring to. This is why one must keep a copy of Seutonius handy at all times.
“Okay, okay! A shirt with a sleeve sticking out of the stomach is a fashion no-no!”
“When I said I had one THIS big, what did you THINK I meant??”
“Veronica’s using Magikarp’s Gemini Bitchslap Attack and it’s SUPER Effective! Only one chance to defend! I choose you, Dislocatemyelbowchu!”
I take it back! I want to convert to Space Islam!
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Ia! Ia Dagon! Y’Hlanthlei ml’waghtn!
“JONAH HEX! JONAH HEX! JONAH HEX!”
“That’s not what I meant when I said I was a ‘Big Phish fan!'”
@Chris: “…Black & blue fi-” *ZONK* -“sh…”
“Geez, Veronica, when I asked you to BLUDGEON ME to DEATH with a GIGANTIC FISH, that’s NOT what I meant!! …though come to think of it, what the hell DID I mean?!?!??”
“SLAP Fish, SLOP Fish, POW Fish, OW, Fish!!”
“I’ve been cornobbled!”
“Oh, cod, it hurts!”