“Yes, I’ve been on hold for ten minutes now already. Yellowjacket… Y, E, two Ls, O… look, do you really need me to spell it?… Yes, it’s all one word… Yes, I can hold another minute, but… dammit, they put me on hold again… Morty? Yeah, Yellowjacket here… good to hear you too, Morty… no, no, I’m not calling about the bar mitzvah. It’s about the cover… The cover, Morty… What do you mean, “what about the cover?” Have you seen it? Look at it, Morty! Tell me why I’m supposed to be happy!… Morty, it’s my goddamn comic magazine, okay? The first issue of Yellowjacket Comics. And where am I on the cover? I’m in a small box on the bottom left corner, Morty! Who dominates the cover of the first issue of Yellowjacket Comics? Some schmuck on a trapeze!… I don’t care if he’s a nice guy, Morty!… Because I am supposed to be the star of Yellowjacket Comics!… Because I’m Yellowjacket, for Crissake! …what do you mean, “trying to promote new talent?” I’m new talent! It’s my first issue!… Then put him in the little corner box! I paid my dues! Two years as a backup feature in Pow! Comics! Did Trapeze Guy ever do that, huh? How many sinners has he scourged?… oh, so you’re going to level with me now. Great, Morty… Artistic error. Uh huh… So pulp the run and put him in the corner! New cover!… Yes, I do know how much that would cost… I can always jump to Timely, Morty! They made a hell of an offer!… Come on, Morty, the guy can’t even fly! He’s a friggin’ acrobat! Who’s gonna read Acrobat Comics?… No, but I can glide, Morty, and that’s pretty much the same thing… says me, Morty!… Okay, I’m listening… Uh huh… uh huh… A radio show?… Seriously?… Well, even if it is only a biweekly backup, that’s not nothing. But can we talk serials?… Well, we won’t have to worry about sales if I’m actually featured on the cover of my own comic, Morty… Maybe he would make a good member of the supporting cast, Morty, but you don’t put Lois Lane on the cover of the first issue of Superman, do you?… Yeah… yeah… okay, Morty… Okay. Yeah, we’re not good, but we’re getting there, Morty… yeah, we’ll talk tomorrow, okay? I have to go, you know, fight some crime… best to your wife and kids too, Morty… yes, of course I’m coming to the bar mitzvah… you too. Bye.”
Related Articles
8 users responded in this post
Not a great start, but at least this guy isn’t only remembered as a wife-beater.
Where’d Acro-schmuck get the wrestling belt? Did this crap ever happen to Rex?
“Morty? Yeah, I was keeping this number in reserve for the eventual day when you wouldn’t return my calls. Seriously, what the HELL, Morty? Some guy here calling himself ‘Banshee’ says he’s here to repo my costume! What do you mean, ‘they pulled my membership?’ For crissakes, Morty, you could at least have had the decency to come down here yourself and not send this potato-stuffer to do your dirty work!”
and then alan moore made them both drug addicts
To answer Pack’s question, no. Rex was always the the guy on his cover. It’s only been RECENTLY that Detective Chimp became the headliner.
Though they did usually take a scene from the more subdued second rex story of the issue, instead of the first story which was usually silver age insanity.
You obviously don’t know who you’re dealing with here–sure, the indicia says “The Frank Comunale Publishing Company,” but do you know who “The Frank Comunale Publishing Company” really is? Let me give you a hint–the guy on the trapeze doesn’t appear inside the comic (or any other comic). That’s right, the cover was a generic mockup, and they must have stuck that inset in there at the last minute when they decided who the headliner was going to be.
Even granting that superhero+dame with shapely gams has a visual advantage over superhero+regular-sized-not-even-giant bees, doesn’t it just make sense to pulp the old cover to feature your headliner? Who would ever do something as shoddy and idiotic as this? Well, Yellowjacket #1 is the very first comic produced by the company that later became Children’s Comic Publishing, then Charles Publishing Company and Frank Publications before finally settling on:
Charlton.
And now you know the rest of the story.
I wouldn’t jump to Timely if I were him. That company has a history of treating Yellowjackets badly.
Lookout! She’s a trap!