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“We’ve ensured the apocalypse, girls – our work here is done!”

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Mister Alex said on September 21st, 2010 at 9:12 am

“Well, well. Looks like Mama Grizzly’s got a chocolate craving!”

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“It’s their child, they get to eat it. Fair’s fair.”

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LarryBatman said on September 21st, 2010 at 9:30 am

“The hard part was getting the drugs past the secret service and into the drink.”

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RobotKeaton said on September 21st, 2010 at 9:50 am

“And they say we’re not socially relevant!”

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“Don’t get excited, that’s Tina Fey.”

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Katzedecimal said on September 21st, 2010 at 10:03 am

“Well that’s much less tacky than a cigar!”

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“Just look how progressive we are, girls. Now Riverdale’s got a SECOND black person!”

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“That noise you just heard was Andrew Sullivan’s head exploding.”

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LightlyFrosted said on September 21st, 2010 at 10:48 am

“It took all night, but our submission for the ‘Cardboard Standie That No One Would Believe If It Weren’t So Realistic’ contest is finally ready!”

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MadHierophant said on September 21st, 2010 at 11:05 am

“We had to destroy thousands of alternate Earths to make this happen, but it was totally worth it!”

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“So, long story short: Jughead switched brains with the President. Also, he’s into cougars now.”

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Two parties, one cup!

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“Don’t worry. Soon we’ll know who has the poisoned straw.”

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“Didn’t I say I could bring Obama, Palin and Santorum together?”

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My first thought was, “All right! An interracial couple in Riverdale! Veronica, grab the rope, we’ll get these two to the lynching tree!”

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“I saw this in a porn movie once.”

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“Sleepwalking’s a bitch.”

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“This is sure to make Fox news spontaneously combust!”

Alternatley:

“I’m totally gonna tap that ass!”

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2 Candidates/1 Cup

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Important social message: delivered! I guess.

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“I guess even politicians can enjoy the simple pleasure of blowing bubbles through their drinking straws.”

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This makes two signs of the Apocalypse on this cover alone.

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“Once we’d blinded them, the rest just fell into place.”

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Hey girls! Do Jughead and Dilton seem… different to you?

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“Don’t all those pesky wars and economy woes just melt away when we pretend to vaguely respect each other?”

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“I think this crossover with Bluewater publishing is gonna work out just fine!”

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Now what the fuck are we going to do for Part 2?

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The fool! He’s spent the past year building up an immunity to iocane powder!

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I didn’t know Chuck was into MILFs!

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“Apparently, once you go Barack, you don’t go back.”

“Hey look, somebody who’s crazier than Betty!”

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“Christ, what an asshole.”

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(Al Ewing for the win!)

“See? I told you she caught Osama!”

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“Gosh, girls, another outbreak of jungle fever! We have to find a cure right away!”

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“Well, we gave ’em both Valium and took away her rifle. Let’s see what happens next!”

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Iocane! I’d bet my life on it.

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“Considering they *are* drinking our milkshakes – yes, they are drinking them up – should we be this happy about it?”

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“All we have to do now is wait for the extasy to take effect, and Phase One of Operation: Super-Candidate will be complete!”

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“Miscegenation, eh? Well, fuck it. We just got one of them gays last week, might as well call it a party!”

or

“What an honor! The president is gonna have my sloppy seconds!”

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starscream369 said on September 23rd, 2010 at 6:47 pm

“All this peacemaking has made me forget whether we are inside or outside of the malt shoppe!”

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Hey don’t mean to threadjack but Everyone (or just about) considers the Republican party and conservatives to be racists. But you people are completely silent on Loretta Sanchez:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SrOirjcWe-I

So are the Vietnamese the enemy too?

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