What the hell font did they use for the titles on the original Dragonriders of Pern books? The curvy italic one? I’ve used all the major font identification engines online and none of them has a clue.
19
Oct
What the hell font did they use for the titles on the original Dragonriders of Pern books? The curvy italic one? I’ve used all the major font identification engines online and none of them has a clue.
17
Oct
PICK JOKE:
1.) There is as yet no study about whether allowing men to watch sporting events likewise reduces risk of breast cancer, but I shall be sure to keep an eye out.
2.) Once again, SCIENCE HATES LESBIANS.
3.) The study also says that they have to swallow, so guys, remember, if you want to come on a girl’s face, it’s officially now a health risk for her. (As well as for you if she tries to hit you with something because you didn’t ask first.)
16
Oct
Most everyone I know who is a fan of Terry Pratchett in specific or a fan of somewhat nerdish literature in general was at least dismayed and typically devastated by his announcement that he had early-onset Alzheimer’s-based dementia. Pratchett is beloved on a scale most other fantasy authors never reach, not simply for his frequently brilliant writing but for his well-known level of personal warmth and generosity, and that such a figure could be handed one of the most horrific medical fates one can get, and further at such a relatively young age, seemed cosmically unfair. (If you haven’t read it, Pratchett’s own account of what living with his disease is like is worth reading. Fair warning: have a hanky ready, unless you are made of stone.)
This makes new books from Pratchett all the more precious because, unlike most other authors where the inability to write comes either long after they’ve finished their creative output or suddenly with death, Pratchett is stil an active writer, and the sense that the universe is stealing new Pratchett books from us, books that were deserved and merited, is far more active. He was supposed to write a new book every year for at least the next ten years, or at worst die in a freakish accident involving a motorcycle and a blimp that nobody could see coming, so we could get used to the idea of no new Pratchett more easily. That was the deal.
That is the bad news. The good news is this: Nation, Pratchett’s new novel (and the first non-Discworld book he’s written in quite some time) is easily one of the best books he’s ever written. There is a strong argument that it is the best book he has ever written, period. Given that the last couple of Discworld novels (Wintersmith, Making Money) have been in the “decent but not staggeringly good” range, it is thoroughly refreshing to be treated to Pratchett writing at the top of his game once again. This is, at the absolute very least, his best book since Night Watch (which remains the best of the Vimes novels). And frankly, it’s a lot better than that one was.
And this is the thing of it: Pratchett’s illness informs every page of this novel, not just in the reading of it but in the writing. Nation is, at its core, a story about how people respond to tragedy, and how religion and science can, each in their way, assist us in dealing with the cruel and random nature of the universe. There is precisely zero doubt in my mind that Pratchett’s experience has not shaped the writing of this book; it is simply not possible. There is so very much of Pratchett’s personal belief system and experiences infused into the writing that this is easily his most personal work to date.
It never seems forced, not even for so much as a paragraph. Pratchett’s story – about an alternate Earth where a young British girl and a South Pacific island boy, each the only survivor from their respective cultures of a devastating tidal wave, rebuilding society one task at a time – isn’t about Alzheimer’s, not on its face. Aging and dementia are never mentioned. What is mentioned is the palpable sense of loss that tragedy brings, and Pratchett never overplays this nor wallows in it because he recognizes that his characters don’t have the luxury to do that – they have to shove their fear and dread and grief down and get on with doing what’s necessary to go on living. But it remains there, everpresent in the novel, at times bubbling to the surface when a character can’t take the silence any more, and at no point do these moments feel gratituous or unearned.
The motif of culture clash also serves as a useful vehicle for Pratchett’s personal moments, when he wishes to expound (although of course he never breaks character to do so). Having two characters with wildly different backgrounds – who at the start of the book don’t even speak the same language – allows Pratchett to explain what he thinks about death, and life, and loss, and gain, and tragedy and triumph, and why all of these things are necessary to the human experience, and what the human experience even is. He does it subtly, and with good jokes, and the result is a work that is wholly elegant, with a deft, light touch.
It really is one of his finest books, and for that we can be thankful that the lion, moving through winter though he may be, is still capable of great things. Indeed, the writing of this novel in a way makes the point of Pratchett’s story all over again. Because this is a story about getting up after you’ve been knocked down [1], and getting on with things rather than wallowing in sorrow. It’s inspirational both in story and in its creation. You really have to read it.
[1] Much like Chumbawumba’s “Tubthumping,” but not nearly so annoying.
16
Oct
Hey MGK readers, it’s occasional guestblogger Karen here to recap SYTYCD Canada for you because Mr. Bird is too busy liveblogging the final presidential election to weigh in on dance.
How are my qualifications as a dance critic? Not great, actually. The MGK has watched every season of every regional variation on SYTYCD since its inception, whereas I have not. However, I have one thing working in my favour: a vag. I was subjected to the requisite six-year-old girl jazz classes, Strictly Ballroom is one of my all-time favourites, and I’m semi-immune to boobs ’cause I get to look at them every day. But I’m not going to pretend to be a technical expert.
Let’s do this anyway.
Okay, it’s the Top 18, Kevin and Bre left last week. Leah Miller is actually growing on me—she had some fairly quippy ad-libs tonight. They introduced some hilarious corporate sponsorship: the Cloverleaf Energy Room where live-audience members can dance and the footage gets posted online. And they’re all like, “Wooo, we’re having a canned tuna party up in this place!” With this and their “Rip-n-Ready” pouches , Cloverleaf is, like, the hippest canned tuna out there!!
Before the show gets underway, Tre gets really serious and says that someone has been criticizing Jean-Marc’s English, and challenges them to get up on stage and do his job in French. Who is she talking about? At first I’m like, “One of the dancers? Someone in the audience?” Someone in the media would make more sense. Anyone know anything about this?
Also, wardrobe check: Tre and Leah look like they went shopping together for the CTV staff Christmas party.
Allie and Danny: “New York-style” mambo. “I like my mambo like I like my cheesecake: New York-style”? Ehh, maybe not. Allie is dancing in a sparkly bikini (as they do in New York) but this mambo is PG13. Danny does some good mambo, but nobody really cares because the cute little ballerina danced the mambo in a bikini and was still cute. Allie has obviously got the technical skills; if she can keep the cute and work in a little spice, she will go far.
Vincent and Lisa: Hip Hop. They dress up as Raggedy Ann and Andy with a little “clowning” flavour and the result is NIGHTMARES FOREVER. Choreography is kind of balls, but their moves are very tight.
Arassay and Nico: Theatre. Dramatic routine about a girl who prays for her dark, sexy guardian angel. Pretty decent! Bonus points for some wierd Christian imagery, and super bonus points for Nico giving new meaning to girl boners. Nico is like the French Canadian King of Girl Boners with his smokin’ bod and mohawk thing and gorgeous accent and eyebrow ring and tattoos somewhere probably. And he’s looks like he’d be all like, “Hey, I’m just going to stay here in my industrial-garage-turned-loft in Montreal and pull an all-nighter editing my documentary with nothing to keep me company but a pack of smokes and some vegan chili—–oh, and then I’m going to go on TV and be an AMAZING DANCER.” Frig, I love Quebec. Quebec’s greatest provincial export is boners.
Francis and Natalli: Pasa Doble. A knockout performance by Natalli. Blake tells Natalie, “You’re making all the girls in this competition look like babies” (and he’s clearly talking about Allie). I am not so sold on Francis in this, because the Paso Doble is dependent on sheer fucking testosterone and he’s just not delivering it. They judges say he was channelling alpha male, but I don’t think they get to see much alpha male on this show.
Izaak and Kaitlyn: Dancehall. First dancehall evarrrrr! Whitest dancehall evarrrrrr! Izaac is sweet, because he’s such a virgin, but it’s killing his ability to perform a believable dancehall number. Kaitlyn did what she could. They dress up like Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta in Grease as some kind of wierd uberwhiteness-meets-Jamaica cultural mashup, but its not adorable in a Cool Runnings sort of way. Again, the judges allude to Izaak needing to “be real” and again I have no idea what the hell that means.
Lara and Miles: Viennese Waltz. Where is the waltz? Waltz is abandoned for lots of spinning and another crowd-pleasing kiss. The judges say nothing bad and praise their unique “connection.” Who even cares that they barely danced, I actually love this pair. Not for the kissing, but for Miles (who is a popping instructor at Street Dance Academy in Toronto, by the way). On what he doesn’t like about Lara: “The worst thing about Lara is that she doesn’t like pie. If it’s in a crust, she doesn’t like it. I don’t get it.” Adorable.
Caroline and Jesse: Hip Hop. Do they consult about routines before the show? Here we have another hip hop number featuring retro toys: this time they’re toy soldiers. It’s pretty bad, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see Jesse go.
Tamina and Joey: Contemporary. EPIC FAIL!!!! Concept: prisoner in jail cell daydreams about his first love to the sound of “Crocodile Rock” by Elton John. The jugdes could barely keep a straight face. Luther said, “[I’m laughing] because it was the happiest jail dance I’ve ever seen in my entire life. And then it ended with a gunshot. So…” I think Jean-Marc said, “You were jumping on the beds, it looked like a sleepover!” The dancers both politely blamed the choreography, and when the camera panned to the choreographer he looked devastated. Then Tamina’s boob fell out of her top. If they get voted off tomorrow (very possible), this number will go down in history for the epic failness.
Dario and Romina: Jazz Pop. I love both of these dancers, but they’re so different and it’s hurting them. Romina, as usual, steals the show as she “dances for her life” but if you have the option of replaying this, watch it again and keep your eyes on Dario. It’s just beautiful. This is why the judges are fighting so hard to keep Dario on the show, but he can’t compete with the showiness of Romina. This couple will only excel once they’re been separated. I hope Dario can hang in there.
Nothing super standouty this week. Will Tamina and Joey sail home on the failboat?
I’ll let MGK make his predictions.
16
Oct
15
Oct
So tonight all we’re really hoping for is to see John McCain go crazy-nuts and/or talk about Bill Ayers like it’s a big deal so Obama can rightly mock the shit out of him, aren’t we?
8:47: Bill Bennett is blathering about Ayers already and saying he can’t be sure that Obama won’t nominate Ayers to be Secretary of Education. Why doesn’t someone just put a slot machine just off-camera so we don’t have to listen to this fat idiot?
8:51: Soledad O’Brien, despite having a wonderful bi-ethnic name, is still pretty much just your average level of Network TV White when you get right down to it.
8:54: Once again, the lines will represent undecided voters in Ohio, a state currently polling pro-Obama by four to six points, so it’s not really all that undecided as undecided states go. Why not have lines for North Carolina or Missouri instead? Oh, right, they’re not “battleground” states, they’re just states that Obama is leading in that are traditionally Republican.
8:57: The CNN people say that the Clintons and their voters are fully on board with Barack Obama. CNN’s official motto: “duh.”
8:58: Also, Bill Bennett looks disgruntled to have to sit next to Donna Brazile. Just saying. “It’s not over!” he says. Yes, treating McCain like the Buffalo Bills in the second half of a Super Bowl is exactly what undecided voters want to hear.
9:00: Your moderator: Bob Schieffer of CBS News, who is older than God or The New York Times or both. This is the domestic policy debate! Modified wimpy Lincoln/Douglas style rules! And here are Ba Rock and the old guy.
9:02: The lines are edging upwards as Bob asks about their economic plans. Undecided voters just love hearing about plans! McCain sends a shout out to poor dying Nancy Reagan then says that people are hurting and angry. The lines concur. His esses are whistling like a parody of a old man, like a sketch on Hee Haw or something. HE IS AGING BEFORE OUR VERY EYES! Well, yes, everybody is, but still.
9:05: Obama loves the fine people of New York. He talks about ending outsourcing tax credits and his middle class tax cut (which he says so often it should really be one word, like “middleclasstaxcut”). Lines drop when he says he agrees with McCain on anything, although they jump back up when he says “but he’s wrong about this and this.”
9:07: McCain, rather than ask a question, asks Obama about a plumber he met who would be in a higher tax (whistle) bracket under Obama’s (whistle) plan. Lines are not down, but not high. Obama responds by saying that McCain is full of shit and wants to give tax cuts to rich people. Middleclasstaxcut. McCain accuses Obama of being a dirty wealth-redis-(whistle)-tributing socialist. The lines like this. Obama: 95 percent of Americans get a middleclasstaxcut. He points out that Joe the Plumber makes more than $250,000 a year and guess what, Joe is fucking rich and can go screw. Well, not quite, but.
9:13: McCain talks dishonestly about business tax rates in America being too high, knowing perfectly well that business (whistle) tax (whistle) rates (whistle) in America realistically are next to nothing thanks to loopholes in the tax scheme. Obama doesn’t get a chance to respond because it’s time for the next question.
9:14: What will you cut because of the massive deficit? Obama points out that the $750 billion rescue package offers the chance to let Americans get their money back, thanks to the way it was redesigned by Democrats. Obama says he’s a supporter of pay-as-you-go budgeting and promises to go through the budget with a fine-toothed comb, then says he thinks in the long term and America has to spend money to make money in the long term, and people have to be responsible. Lines love that shit.
9:16: McCain wants to talk about home owners-(whistle)-hip and how Hillary Clinton proposed it during the dying, desperate days of her campaign. Old Man Bob wants McCain to actually talk about what he would cut. McCain spits out a bunch of energy words like it means something, then says he is all for a spending freeze because it’s a hatchet and then he can cut more. Man-lines are OFF THE CHART for this shit, seriously. He knows (whistle) how to save billions (whistle). Goes to his standard lines about Obama being a spendy guy and the planetarium projector again.
9:19: Obama is being too reasonable, frankly, when he talks about earmarks and how cutting them won’t solve anything. Mentions Bush and his spending spree, which gets some good play on the lines. These lines are, frankly, not nearly so pro-Obama as the last few sets of lines have been.
9:20: “Can you balance the budget in four years?” McCain: yes (whistle) and I’m not Pres (whistle) ident Bush (whistle). Then attacks Obama again for spending money! McCain then explains that he can create jobs and stimulate the economy by eliminating spending, which is functionally retarded and contrary to all evidence ever.
9:22: Obama points out that he voted for tort reform and performance pay for teachers and clean coal technology, so yes, Mr. McCain, he can support stupid-ass policies just like you can. McCain has this weird, weird grin. Goes back to the “you support Bush way too much” well, and I am starting to suspect, vis-a-vis the lines, that the well is dry.
9:24: McCain brags about his climate change bill, the one he brought to the floor – then took his name off of and voted against. Oh, wait, he doesn’t mention that bit.
9:25: It’s the “why is your campaign so mean” question! Old Man Bob dares them to say shit to each other’s faces. McCain: Obama didn’t do town halls (whistle) with me and so I didn’t have a choice (whistle). Obama is smiling, and I get the feeling he really, really wanted McCain to say just that. McCain then attacks John Lewis for saying that McCain and Palin are shitheads. McCain asks Obama to repudiate those remarks (whistle) just like he’s done for all the nasty things Republicans have said (HA HA HA HA HA). Goes to the “he said he’d take public financing” attack (WHAT) and accuses Obama of lying.
9:28: Obama: two-thirds of America thinks you’re running a negative campaign and one hundred percent of your ads are negative. (McCain, whiny: “That’s not true!”) Obama then slams McCain for the stupid town hall argument because it’s, you know, retarded. Obama goes after McCain for his campaign saying they didn’t want to talk about the economy and more or less calls McCain out. Lines like that. McCain whines that Obama is attacking his health care plan and his immigration policy. Lines like THAT too. Joe the Plumber again.
9:31: McCain whines again about John Lewis. Obama responds by saying in his calm way that McCain’s supporters are shitheads and he’s not John Lewis so shut the fuck up. Lines like it when Obama goes positive. McCain keeps trying to interrupt like a whiny little shithead.
9:33: McCain is proud of the people who come to his rallies (whistle) and gets all defensive about his supporters being assholes because they are the salt of the earth. Obama’s lines drop staggeringly for a bit until he starts talking about positive solutions. He rightly says vigorous debates about issues are fine.
9:36: McCain says he doesn’t care about Bill Ayers and ACORN, but he cares a lot about Bill Ayers and ACORN and Obama has to justify and explain himself. Obama responds about Ayers much as you expect and the lines are middlingish to high. On ACORN, Obama explains that he has next to no association with them, then talks about the impressive people he DOES associate with, and the women-lines at least pretty much like this. McCain accuses Obama of more association with Ayers and ACORN, and – wonder of wonders – the lines start dropping!
9:40: Old Man Bob wants to know why the country would be better off if each candidate’s Veep became President, as is possible? Obama: Joe Biden is awesome and also not an insane bitch. (No, not really, but wouldn’t that be great?) Also, middleclasstaxcut and all the rest. Lines love them some Biden, because it’s nice that the black man is talking about an old white guy. McCain talks about Palin and the lines drop back down harshly. Men, unsurprisingly, like McCain’s bullshit about Palin a lot more than women do. Sarah Palin understands special needs children, too!
9:43: Obama: it’s up to the American people if Palin is qualified to be President, which is a nice way to say “no.” Obama then points out that helping special needs children kind of falls by the wayside when you want a spending freeze. McCain: I like Joe Biden but he’s wrong about everything and a s-(whistle)-tupid-head. Then attacks McCain for his s-(whistle)-pending ways, and openly lies once again about Obama’s tax policy, because that’s who McCain is.
9:46: Climate change and energy! How much can America reduce foreign oil consumption during your first term? McCain: we can get rid of all of it, except for Canadian oil by building nuclear plants, which you can build in four years easy (god, is he stupid or just ignorant?). Then changes his mind and says it can be done in seven to ten years. Obama agrees on the ten year figure, saying it’s a realistic timeframe, restating his belief that this is THE issue. (Lines like that.) Says that the oil companies should drill the areas they have leased already or they can go pound sand (hooray). Says that American cars are crap, lines like that too. Then talks about free trade and how it didn’t have enforceable agreements, and speaking as a Canadian let me just say any American whining about NAFTA needs to go shut the fuck up really fast even if it is Obama, all right?
9:51: McCain basically calls Obama a shifty-tongued liar, then accuses Obama of being against free trade with South America and Colombia and fighting drugs and so forth, and oh man is McCain getting more hostile with each passing minute. Obama coolly responds that the United States has to stand for human rights and Colombia shoots labor leaders, so fuck you, Johnny Mac. Also: fuel-efficient cars of the future! (Lines LOVE future cars. He probably should have mentioned jetpacks.)
9:55: McCain attacks Obama on the preconditions thing, lines drop back down to earth. The lines seem to be regaining what I will call, for lack of a better term, “sanity.” Then compares Obama to Herbert Hoover. Yes. REALLY.
9:56: Generic vague healthcare question! Obama: lower costs, increase spending! My plan will do nothing to change everything you like and fix most of what you hate! The lines LOVE things that they like and hate things that they hate! McCain: bunch of health-related things that would be good (and require spending, but in McCainland things John McCain likes just kind of appear, like fine summer rain). Hey, Joe the Plumber! Obama will fine you if you don’t cover your kids! Man-lines like this attack. Women-lines do not. And then he goes to the single-payer system attack! THANK YOU JOHN MCCAIN FOR ATTACKING SOCIALIZED MEDICINE.
10:00: Obama: Hey, dumbass, I exempted small businesses so there’s no fine. Explains how his healthcare plan helps small businesses. McCain looks uncomfortable. Then Obama starts trashing the shit out of McCain’s incredibly bad plan, pointing out that old people are going to suck pipe on the McCain plan. McCain looks more uncomfortable. Obama finishes up by attacking McCain for taxing healthcare benefits and his idea about deregulating health coverage. The lines are very happy about this.
10:03: McCain: “Joe, you’re rich! Congratulations!” Hey, if Joe makes $250,000 a year, dumbass, he is pretty fucking well off.
10:04: McCain’s healthcare lines are not good at all. This is very much the definitive lines moment for Obama tonight.
10:06: Roe v. Wade and judges? They’re actually talking about it? Holy shit. McCain: I would not impose a litmus (whistle) test (whistle) and avoids talking about how he would appoint crazy right-wing judges like he’s said he would do again and again. Attacks Obama for voting against Roberts and Stephen Breyer, who is, you know, a Clinton appointee. MCCAIN IS A DODDERING OLD TWAT.
10:08: McCain doubletalks to get around the facts on his judicial preferences some more. Obama says he supports Roe and that women should have a right to choose, then talks about right to privacy and how it has to be federally protected. Lines like this. Turns out that former law professors are good at talking about the law in a concise, easy to explain manner! Who would have thunk. Then – get this – he explains in short terms Ledbetter v. Goodyear! Holy shit, that impresses me. Bringing up this sort of thing in a debate is fucking ballsy.
10:12: McCain attacks Obama on other pro-life grounds. Women are not happy about this. He accuses Obama of aligning himself with the “extreme pro-abortion” movement in America. Obama says Mccain is a liar. McCain looks like he is passing bad gas. Obama explains that he’s fine with late-term abortion bans where there’s a medical exemption, which McCain opposes. Concludes by arguing that surely everybody can agree that making unintended pregnancies rarer is great. (Lines LOVE THIS SHIT. Topping out.) McCain fucking explodes, he’s so angry now.
10:16: Old Man Bob speaks! Education! Why does it suck and how will you make it gooder, sirs? Obama immediately frames education as a national security issue, then says America needs more spending and reform. McCain has another weird look on his face like he is pooping. The lines are skyrocketing for Obama’s education points. Finally, Obama says parents have to turn off the TV and put away the videogames and so forth, because personal responsibility is the shit.
10:19: McCain explains that schools are all equal now, because he knows nobody black is voting for him anyway so he can just bullshit about this all he likes. Talks about charter schools, because free enterprise competition blah blah blah success-cakes. Then says hey, maybe certification isn’t such a big deal anyhow! Heh. Lines are good but not as good as Obama’s.
10:20: Federal involvement in schools! Obama: we need more money in schools! Then he attacks No Child Left Behind and lack of special-needs funding and other things like that. Talks about charter schools, because he has to have some bad ideas too or else he would be too good for this Earth. Then attacks McCain for his tax policy again through rhetorical judo, pointing out that spending freezes don’t mean spending more on education like McCain wants.
10:23: McCain praises No Child Left Behind, which is… just dumb, really. Then he says Head Start needs reforming, and special needs kids – hey, Sarah Palin! Obama points out that McCain doesn’t actually have an education policy, and McCain makes a snide joke because that is all the senile prick can do.
10:27: Closing statements! McCain: America needs (whistle) a new direction and I take on special interests (whistle) and I don’t like spending and we have to do six billion things but we can’t spend any money on it. (The lines like this, because undecided voters love it when you promise to do magic for free.) McCain puts his country first (whistle).
10:29: Obama: We need fundamental change in America, and it’s me or the crazy old man, and I have the distinct advantage of not being crazy or old. Also, energy education middleclasstaxcut. America needs to renew the spirit of sacrifice and community, which is another thing a crazy old man cannot do.
And that’s it. McCain does some crazy old man hand jive right afterwards as he stands up, presumably to make the tired old blood flow. The potential First Ladies show up to shake hands and so forth.
On points: more or less a tie, slightly a win for Obama, I think, who picked up steam in the second half. McCain was much stronger than he was in previous debates, but that whistling – man, if I wrote for SNL I would be making fun of that like nobody’s business, and I think it made McCain look more like a crazy old man.
And in a tie, I think Obama wins on points.
15
Oct
LOSER: Stephane Dion. Not that this surprises anybody, what with the media having been in whatever the opposite of the tank is as regards Dion, but even so – a horrendous drubbing. The worst Liberal seat count in pretty much the history of Canada, percentage-speaking, and it’s mostly down to public perception of Dion as unable to lead, a perception aided and abetted by every Liberal who thought he or she should be the party leader instead (which was all of them). He deserved better, but politics is very rarely about “deserved,” and that’s how the cookie crumbles.
LOSER: Stephen Harper. Be not fooled by his “victory” tonight. A victory, for Harper’s Tories, was a majority, pure and simple. Times will get worse, economically speaking, very soon now – not as bad as in other countries, but bad enough. Harper’s policies are short-term winners, long-term losers, and the short term is now mostly over, and in a few months one of his biggest remaining advantages – a political friendship with the President of the United States – will be entirely gone. True, Harper will always have the benefit of running the sole right-wing party versus four left-wing parties – but were I the NDP, I would make it a primary cause to introduce ranked-voting bills into legislation, and let the Tories explain why it’s a bad idea. Stephen Harper needed a full term. He did not get it.
WINNER: Jack Layton. Layton, more than any other political leader this election, figured out how to play the game; with only a .5 percent increase in the popular vote he picked up eight seats, a very impressive display of successful electoral strategy. I’m not exactly sure what Layton’s plan is, but I’m pretty sure he has one. This puts him a leg up on a good chunk of the Canadian political establishment, who tend to wing it.
WINNER: Gilles Duceppe. The Bloc Quebecois did not fade away, as some might hope; they remained exactly as strong as they were. Partly this was because Stephen Harper criticized arts funding, which is like taking license to throw away votes in Quebec, and every single vote went to the Bloc. Partly it was because Duceppe knows how to work Quebec politics. Partly it’s because Quebec nationalists still vote and they’re not voting anything other than Bloc.
LOSER: Elizabeth May. It’s over: the Green Party dream is over, folks, and it is time to wake up and realize that the party is going nowhere. This time around the Greens had a high profile leader, full participation in the debates, a leader running in a riding with no Liberal candidate, and a Member of Parliament running on the other side of the country (albeit one who crossed the floor to join the Greens). If ever there was a scenario where the Green Party might pick up seats in Parliament, this was it, and they didn’t even come close. They didn’t even break the mythic ten percent popular vote threshold. Find another party, Greens, and work the system from within. This election has made it clear; you are wasting your time with the Green Party.
LOSER: The Canadian electorate. Largely uninterested in the election (barely fifty percent voter participation), largely unimpressed with their options, not really in the mood for their third federal election in slightly less than four years, and more disengaged from the process than ever before. There is possibly a way to reverse this trend. I am not sure exactly what, though.
WINNER: Any American reader of this blog who doesn’t know dog about Canadian politics and who does not care.
14
Oct
Along with other devout members of the Torontoist crew, I’m liveblogging the Canadian federal election results tonight over here.
14
Oct
Matthew Yglesias sez:
Meanwhile, if you want to reduce the number of bad forms submitted, you have basically three options:
1. Make voter registration much easier and more automatic so as to reduce the need for registration drives.
2. Let registration organizers toss out forms.
3. Stop all registration drives by conflating good faith errors with systematic, criminal fraud.
Conservatives like option (3) because they don’t like it when large numbers of people vote.
Some might take this as an attack on American conservatives. Which is fair – but I would ask those to explain why, when John McCain was presented with the opportunity to simplify voter registration and increase the number of active voters, he voted against it.
14
Oct
“[T]he thing about Web 2.0 is that there are more and more methods for self-expression available to people with less and less idea of what to do with them.” — Jim Smith
14
Oct
It’s like Asteroids. But with gravity.
14
Oct
A: Look, I’m telling you, they’re not bears. This should be the end of the conversation.
B: The Care Bear Cousins count as bears.
A: No, they don’t! Brave Heart Lion isn’t a bear! He’s a lion! You know why? Because he’s a fucking lion, that’s why! Brave Heart is a lion and Bright Heart is a raccoon and Fat Heart is an elephant. Now what do all of these things have in common? Oh, right, they’re not bears!
B: Look, they do the Care Bear Stare. They are honorary Care Bears. Maybe not by species, but –
A: Ah ha, but they don’t do the Care Bear Stare. They do a “call.” Only bears can Stare.
B: Cats stare.
A: We’re talking about cartoons, man. Don’t bring real life into it. Besides, I meant “Stare” with a capital S.
B: Need I remind you of the second Care Bears movie? The one where the fat motherly Care Bear and the unicorn – Super Heart or whatever – quite clearly took care of the baby Care Bears and Care Bear Cousins? It is obvious that the Care Bears and Care Bear Cousins are all sprung from the unholy union of bear and unicorn.
A: So you’re suggesting that the Care Bear Cousins are the result of interspecies breeding?
B: That’s why they’re all plushy.
A: That’s horrible.
B: Well, when you get right down to it, the idea of magical bears embodying emotions isn’t great either. Where are the evil Care Bears?
A: There’s Grumpy Bear.
B: Grumpy Bear is good-natured down deep. I mean an actual evil Care Bear. Nastiness Bear, Anger Bear, Hatred Bear, Racism Bear. That sort of thing.
A: Bad Heart Mongoose? Greedy Heart Ostrich? Brutal Heart Hippopatamus?
B: Wow, evil Care Bear Cousin names sound like the titles of David Lynch films.
13
Oct
It is Canadian Thanksgiving (AKA “the better version of American Thanksgiving”), so I am busy eating turkey and stuffing and potatoes and sweet potatoes and gravy and rolls and cranberry sauce and, somewhat reluctantly, cooked carrots. Hence why the blog has been inactive this weekend.
That having been said, I wrote this week’s Televisualist column in advance, specifically because I would be busy!
Normal service resumes tomorrow.
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