Some people like to point to that bit in Crisis On Infinite Earths where the Penguin is briefly depicted fighting Firestorm to a standstill as the “waitasec” moment of that series, but it’s not mine. After all, the Penguin is a pretty smart dude and he has umbrellas that shoot people. Plus, Firestorm is traditionally a dumbass.
No, the “waitasec” moment of Crisis for me comes in #10, when Earth’s villains attack Oa in the past to try and save it. (Long story.) In order to stop Krona from viewing the start of the universe and creating the multiverse by accident, the villains try to destroy his lab, and although most of them get conked out early on, three of them – the first Icicle, the first Mirror Master and Maaldor the Darklord – make it to the lab and are about to destroy it, but Krona kills them while they argue about who gets to smash his stuff. No, really.
Now, granted, the fact that he wears ancient-Roman-ish armour and wields a broadsword (and has a Jheri curl) might make him look like a bit of a low man on the totem pole. Heck, on the cover of his issue of Who’s Who he’s squaring off against Madame .44, who has the power of… two guns. But here’s the thing: Maaldor the Darklord wields the entire power of an entire sub-universe. His Who’s Who entry says he is basically omnipotent and that he can “destroy entire galaxies with a thought.” He fought the entire Green Lantern Corps to a standstill more than once.
Basically, he shouldn’t have gotten punked like that.
And here’s the other thing: Maaldor is kind of awesome in a low-rent B-list Vartox sort of way. He’s a full-on godly being who speaks of himself exclusively in the third person (like the Rock!) and hits people with a sword because he can, not because he needs to. He just like slashing people with a sword. It’s how he chills out.
That is a universe-powered being who knows what he likes. He’s due for a comeback.
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His name is unfortunately close to ‘malodorous’, which might be why he can’t get any respect, universe-controlling or not.
Also, Man-Skirt. As Marvel’s Hercules has proved, this demonstrates ultimate manliness (and also easy access).
And yet – of course – for all of his semi-phenomenal cosmic powers, it would take about two of him in order to make Rex the Wonder Dog break a sweat.
I like in those stats when “Weight” is listed as “Variable.” I mean, mine is too – are we talking about before or after the holidays?
For Maaldor it’s always a holiday. Obviously heworks out as-and-when.
So why do villains with swords make the cut moreso than people using bows and arrows?
The part of this that interests me the most is the Superman-Joker teamup. That sounds like fun.
Anybody that can force a Phantom Stranger/Superman/Joker to go solve their mental illness issues is automatically awesome.
His ginger perm will destroy us all.
I *just* read his early-to-mid-Nineties throwdown with Will Payton, The Worst Starman. It was kind of ignoble.
He deserves a third chance.
I could see him being reinvented as a type of noble conqueror, who wants to rule the universe because he truly believes he’d make it a better place. He’d be a good foe for the Justice League (if they ever get their shit together), the Legion, or the R.E.B.E.L.S.
Zenrage,
I trust “make the cut” was not an intended pun, was it?
As for why it happens — you got me.
“Maaldor The Darklord” sounds like someone’s black metal garage band.
I look forward to seeing them at the Boathouse with Daken and Romulus opening for them.
Marvel had the Beyonder wondering what Good and Evil and Life was…
DC had Maaldor knowing what Evil was and that Life was the little squishy things he could obliterate with a thought but preferred to hit with his sword.
“Ha-HA! That was a GOOD Fight! Because you managed to knock me over I’ll obliterate your world instantly rather than slowly enough you’d notice!”
It wasn’t intended.
Occupation: Conqueror
Marital Status: Single
I now have the mental image of Maaldor the Darklord being introduced by Bob Eubanks on a cheesy game show.
“Our next contestant is Maaldor the Darklord. Maaldor, it says here you’re a conqueror.”
“Yes, and I can destroy entire galaxies with a thought.”
“Whooa! And ladies, Maaldor is single, too!”
The cast of _Hollywood Squares_ would spend the entire game cracking manskirt jokes.
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