Recently the Legion of Super-Heroes have reinstituted that greatest of Legion traditions: the election of a new leader. Now, there are those cynics who will claim that whomever the fans select is immaterial because DC Comics will just “find” a bunch of votes for Element Lad again, but I believe in the direct democracy that elected Polar Boy, Timber Wolf, and Wildfire twice apiece. Justice will out, my friends. The will of the people – by which I mean a small handful of obsessive nerds – will prevail.
Now, certain parties on the Internet have begun a campaign for Quislet as next Legion leader, for much the same reason that people enjoy a good fart in somebody else’s face. It must be said: Quislet would certainly be an amusing choice for Legion leader, if you’re one of those freaks who masturbates to old Jimmy Olsen comics “because they’re so trippy” and can put aside the fact that, kitsch value aside, the comics themselves are really kind of stupid in a not-very fun way. Also Jimmy Olsen’s bowtie is a crime against nature. Man, was I disappointed when it turned out that Jimmy Olsen wasn’t dead last year. Where was I again? Oh, right. Quislet. Yes, Quislet is awesome, but he is awesome in small doses. Much like you do not want to drink Jolt Cola every day or watch more than an hour of Sealab 2021 at a go, Quislet’s awesomeness is best delivered in small doses, lest it force one to build up a tolerance to awesomeness and thus become jaded.
Who, then, should be leader? One of the standard go-to candidates like Brainiac Five (will blow up universe), Element Lad (will not stop Brainy from blowing up universe) or Mon-El (can survive universe blowing up, will likely be blase about it)? An outsider candidate like Colossal Boy (stupid), Dawnstar (aloof), Timber Wolf (violent and stupid), Chameleon Boy (delusions of grandeur), Chameleon Girl (only on team because of “connections”), Sun Boy (vain and stupid), Polar Boy (naive and stupid), Ultra Boy (stupider than the rest put together) or Dream Girl (either near-powerless or near-omniscient, depending on writer, and therefore unreliable)? Cosmic Boy for the hundredth time, hoping that he’s not going to burn out any time soon? Or maybe we can just be nihilistic and vote for Earth-Man, because voting for the psychotic is so daring.
No, my friends, there is only one candidate who can offer real change to the Legion. Only one candidate who understands that the Legion is not merely a force for superheroics, but whose understanding of societal needs is advanced enough that they know that the Legion must seek to organize within the greater interstellar community for real and lasting change for the better. Someone who understands that superpowers must be used proactively, and not simply in an X-Force “kill them first” way but in a way that makes everything better. Someone who understands that the only thing worse than the Fatal Five is fatal hunger. Someone who understands that the missing key to make socialism work forever is teleportation!
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52 users responded in this post
Sorry, it’s Element Lad all the way for me, he got my vote straight away. Did wonder about Wildfire as he’s my favourite but..well.. you know…
I voted for Tyroc, just to see what Levitz will do with him.
A socialist insect? If he’s a secret Muslim too, he’s got my vote.
I already voted for Element Lad. The bailout didn’t happen on HIS watch!
Colossal Boy!
For no good reason at all except that he was my favorite when I was 8.
The Legion sucks. VOTE CHIP ZDARSKY.
I voted for Gates as soon as I saw his name and before you posted this. We need a Legion leader with a social conscience.
I voted for Ultra Boy specifically because he’s an idiot and I want to see the LSH just charge at everything like morons.
Earth Man is the more interesting choice just because you’re being a dick to Levitz by picking him, considering the characters would never vote for him.
Gates would be worth it just to get him some screen time though.
I voted for Polar Boy. Naive and stupid all the way!!!
I voted for Sensor Girl: it’s not a book I’ve read a lot and consequently I’m not that familiar with the ins and outs of Legion lore, but I like the Levitz run so far, and she seems like a right snooty ice queen in the Emma Frost mold. Plus, I dig the mask, and I’d like to see it glare menacingly at all those dumb do-gooders you aptly described.
But if I could’ve voted for Matter-Eater Lad or Bouncing Boy, I would’ve been in serious trouble. Where are those characters anyway?
I’ll say this for Sensor Girl: her name would lend itself well to scandalous tabloid headlines.
Gates is a good choice. My favorite Legion leader was actually the 2nd Kid Quantum from the reboot era, so I’m hoping for another unexpected choice like that.
I’ve got twenty reasons why everyone should vote for Quislet.
http://mightygodking.com/index.php/2009/11/05/thursday-whos-who-quislet/
WHAT UP
I have also voted for Gates, although I was upset to realize that XS wasn’t on the list. Not because I wanted her to be leader, but because it means she’s vanished again without explanation.
Also I want someone to win who isn’t paralyzed by the writer’s nostalgia. I want someone based on my own nostalgia damn it!
I don’t follow Legion, so I’d never heard of him before, but on the strength of those panels I’m tempted to vote for Gates in an actual election.
I voted for Shadow Lass because it takes a desperate lady to sleep with a total xenophobe.
Off Topic but….
“Bowties are cool.”
The Eleventh Doctor.
That is all.
Since Matter Eater Lad, Karate Kid and Triplicate Girl are not options, I did what I did last time I didn’t see a real difference between my options. I decided to pick either a black guy, or a woman.
Remember how that worked out for me, I went with a woman.
Time displaced Jimmy Olsen, as a write-in.
… Actually, hold that thought. If I’m doing a write in, the eleventh doctor.
I don’t read Legion of Super-Heroes, and I have never heard of Gates.
But those two panels inspired me to vote for him.
Yeah, everything you said about Quislet goes double for Gates. It also goes double for Quislet, except for the part about being awesome, which does not go at all.
One-joke characters get old fast, and Levitz can’t do comedy.
(I liked the first couple of Gates appearances, when he was recruited against his will into the “teenage death squad,” but after he resigned himself to his fate he became a grating political caricature. If Levitz can’t do comedy, Tom Peyer sure can’t do politics.)
*Sigh* I voted for Cos. Times like these, seasoned leadership seemed the way to go.
But your case makes me re-think my decision.
I like Timber Wolf for leader, since not wanting the job, or having any qualifications for it, doesn’t preclude you from being elected. In-story, it makes a small bit of sense: every so often, with the voting team members either fed up with the usual choices (like Dream Girl, who seems to run an election campaign year round) or not wanting to offend or take sides; an outsider somehow gets more votes than anyone. Even an outsider chosen because he was the equivalent of writing “Donald Duck” on the ballot…
If Rob Ford was elected leader of the Legion, would this prevent him from becoming Mayor of Toronto?
Worth considering, I think.
I went with Shadow Lass. That’s a character Levitz has always been kind of weak on characterizing, like he didn’t have anything more for her than “Mon-El’s girlfriend” (The Waid version was probably the best), but she has one of the more interesting backgrounds if they decide to explore it and some real untapped potential. Would be nice to see her step into the spotlight.
Of course, if the book continues along with the same quality, I probably won’t be reading it by the time the new leader comes along.
Don’t blame me, I voted for Earth Man!
something, something, spacemexicans…
You’ve won my vote for Gates. Socialism FTW!
I’d already voted for Gates before you posted this.
Write-in vote for Time Trapper.
I am torn between listening to your well-reasoned, insightful critique of the issues, and just saying ‘screw it’ and voting for the hottest candidate.
Chris: You can’t pick Karate Kid or Triplicate Girl because they are dead and 1/3 dead, respectively.
I voted for Tellus. GO REPLACEMENT SATURN GIRL!
Someone beat me to the Kodos line, so, blah blah, I voted for Tyroc. Almost gave it to Gates, though.
I voted for Cosmic Boy, Gates was my second choice.
I regret it already.
Actually, Triplicate Girl aka Duo Damsel is now Duplicate Damsel. For no apparent reason, she pops up at the end of Legion of Three Worlds able to apparently duplicate herself any number of times (i.e. no upper limit to the number of duplicate bodies at once). She and Chuck are running the Legion Academy, which is supposed to be taking over the Legion’s Adventure slot soon.
My problem with Gates is that *this* Legion has known him for a whopping six issues and he’s still presumably getting the hang of this universe. Next time, fine, but not yet.
I went with Chameleon Boy, who’s been showing leadership quality for years and electing a non-humanoid is an up yours towards the current UP/Earth xenophobia.
I was raised a Wildfire fanboy, I’ll die a Wildfire fanboy.
Polar Boy is underrated. And not in a “bwa-ha-ha the Subs are stoopit” sort of way, but in an actual “Polar Boy has what it takes even if people think he’s a joke” sort of way. I need me more Polar Boy.
A vote for Gates is a vote for the Reboot!
All power to the people! Gates for General Secretary!
Chameleon Boy, all the way. For pretty much the same reasons as Tom Galloway.
I can’t even remember who Polar Boy is, but Gates seems like a sound, logical choice to me! Then again, I only ever read the Archie/Reboot/Post-Zero Hour/whycan’ttherebeanofficialname Legion, and jumped ship when Mark Waid decided fun was for losers. Is the new whatever-boot any good?
…Hey, when did Invisible Kid become Black? Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course.
I think that’s the second Invisible Kid. The first one is still dead in this timeline I think.
And I don’t see the Subs as being stupid, just overly eager in a totally wreckless way (Johns’ use of the Subs in his Superman arc was like my favorite part of that story.)
See, Polar Boy’s been taking this crap longer than Gates, because every relaunch of the Legion has successively dismissed more and more fun as being for losers. So even in the beloved post-ZH reboot awesome guys like Bouncing Boy, Polar Boy, and Matter Eater Lad are given the shaft because they’re too hokey and Silver Age for the sophisticated tastes of the 80s-onward. (Never mind the fact that if I was ashamed of old-timey, hokey Silver Age concepts I wouldn’t be reading The Legion of Super-Heroes starring Cosmic Boy in the first place.)
Only now, with the “unboot” do we again have a canon where they’re forced to acknowledge these guys actually exist and have to try to find ways to make them compelling, like Johns did with the Subs in that Action Comics arc. So I vote Polar Boy to send a clear message: “We’re here, we have silly codenames, get used to it!”
Karate Kid doesn’t have to be dead if Karate Kid doesn’t want to be dead.
See, I wanted to vote for Triplicate Girl because I figure she’d get more work done than anyone else. Turns out there’s no limit to her duplications now, so I have an even stronger argument.
I don’t actually read the Legion (yet), but I like the whole ‘socialist bug alien’ concept so much that I’m voting for Gates anyway.
On a somewhat unrelated note, though, can anyone explain to me why Shadow Lass appears to be cavorting about in black leather undies and high heels? Like, the Talokians are supposed to be some kinda ‘warrior race’, right? And warrior races generally understand the value of good body armor, right?
I mean, like I said, I don’t read the Legion. I’m not really familiar with Shadow Lass as a character. For all I know, she probably has a perfectly good reason for wearing that shiny black bikini. Maybe her granny knitted it for her. Maybe Shadow Champions have some kind of Achilles heel thing going on, where their only vulnerable spots are their nipples. Maybe this is actually a picture from the Legion’s swimsuit issue – full body wetsuits are the in thing in the 31st century, but Shadow Lass wanted to go retro.
But you’d think that wearing less clothing than frickin’ Power Girl would be something of an embarrassment.
Rongeur: Her original costume was the standard ladies superhero “one piece swimsuit” deal, but then the 70s and Mike Grell happened and half the Legion ended up in costumes like that. Hers has just lasted longer.
Look up Cosmic Boy’s for something that is even more disturbingly sexual.
Gates is too darn awesome not to vote for.
Hey. Dream Girl rocks. Third or fourth smartest Legionnaire, second or third best fighter, and when she was leader, the team took down three billion Daxamites and Darkseid.
Is it too late to vote for “L” block? Because “L” block rules all, IMHO?
I voted for Brainiac 5, because I want to hear Brainy’s excuse for blowing up the Universe.
Apparently, Karate Kid is alive and well, or at least some version of him. Had I known that before I voted, I’d have voted for him.
I’ll cop to voting for Earth-Man mostly to mess with Levitz, though.
Voted for Brainiac just because conflict is interesting and he’s sure to be at odds with everyone.
Granted I’m mostly familiar with the Threeboot* and your post has me thinking I should have gone with Gates.
*I would have gone with Invisible Kid if it had been the LoSH that I actually care about.