“Fear me, Legionnaires! I am your doom! For mine is the power of ultimate bondage!
I see that your taut, sinewy muscles struggle against my cosmo-restraints! But your struggle is futile. Even as solitary beads of sweat inevitably roll down your lean, firm stomachs, so is your continued imprisonment within my clutches inevitable! There is no safeword you can utter that shall free you, Legionnaires! The 30th century belongs to Grimbor the Chainsman!
For Cosmic Boy, chains of invulnerable ceramic! For Element Lad, ropes of solid, untransmutable energy! For Colossal Boy and Shrinking Violet, size-changing proton-bonds! For Chameleon Boy, shape-adaptive manacles! For Dawnstar, Tyborian wing-shackles! For Mon-El, links of superdense Zarnium, laced with lead! For Karate Kid – well, for Karate Kid I just have regular old chains, to be honest, but they will do the job! There is no Legionnaire that Grimbor cannot entangle!
Within my confines, Legionnaires, you are vulnerable! And within my confines – which imprison, but do not harm, at least not without prior consent – you shall ultimately submit to the authority of Grimbor! Only through submission shall you be freed!”
The early 70s were a different time.
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He needs a sidekick that uses candlewax on his victims.
I’m just sayin’.
I can trace a direct line from Grimbor chaining up the entire Legion to my kinky hobbies as an adult. There’s a scene where a rocket powered gag hits Shadow Lass in the mouth. I mean, does that do anything to neutralize her powers?
On a side note, I remember Grimbor chaining the entire planet. Grant Morrison needs to redo that character.
What does it mean that Grimbor has chains around his waist? Does he have a secret need to be restrained, leading to his projection on the Legion?
Shrinks would have a field day with this guy.
Yeah, if Grimbor gets remade, even money he gets a gimp mask, just like poor Whiplash over in Iron Man did. But Grimbor needs to be a Wonder Woman villain. Like, now.
“Occupation: Chainsman” — whut?
“Status: Single” —
This line: “There is no safeword you can utter that shall free you, Legionnaires!” Priceless.
“Grant Morrison needs to redo that character.” Nothing good can come of this.
“Charma possessed an uncontrollable power that made women want to hurt her and men want to help her”
I dated a girl like that in college, but I don’t think it was any superpower.
You forgot that for Phantom Girl he had chains that were not in phase with this dimension, meaning her powers could not allow her to pass through them!
So she stopped using her powers and became part of this dimension. Then they were completely useless and she could just walk up and punch him.
What did he have for Dawnstar? TELL US!
If Grimbor gets remade?
Grimbor made it to Saturday morning on the LSH cartoon!
His mark should be at least 40 per cent higher. This guy has to be the most awesome villain ever.
His legs make up fully 2/3 of his height. I guess long smoooth man-legs are also some kind of fetish…
(the third ‘o’ is for ooo!)
“There’s a scene where a rocket powered gag hits Shadow Lass in the mouth. I mean, does that do anything to neutralize her powers?”
Well, it doubles her amount of clothing.
I’m AMAZED that they never brought him in as a Wonder Woman villain.
Think about it.
I met Mike Grell at a con once and gave him a copy of Superboy 221 to sign. He told me he was embarrassed about drawing such an obviously fetishistic cover.
Let that sink in for a moment: Mike Grell was embarrassed about having drawn a fetishistic cover.
Well, if William Marston was still alive to write Wonder Woman, no doubt he would have used Grimbor in every fucking issue, and had Diana at his mercy every time before she turned them on him and spanked him mercilessly.
Seriously, not that far from what Marston did.
Matter Eater Lad would own this guy, wouldn’t he?
Video Beagle is right, though “The Karate Kid” was kinda lame. I went over it on the TWoP forum thread for LoSH. And this Grimbor doesn’t look as fetishistic as Whiplash when Busiek redesigned him.
I hear he’s going to be running for president. His slogan will be:
“Chains You can Believe In”
@Johnnie B. That is truly awful. May God have mercy on your soul.
Or he could be vice president… Dick CHAINy!
Sorry, I’ll stop.
Do they have craigslist in the future? That seems like a good outlet for this guy.
I remember the “Grimbor chains up the planet” storyline being pretty entertaining. For whatever that’s worth.
Also, how come I have to push a button labeled “SUBMIT!” to get anything posted here?
This also needs to be tagged “Why I Should Write the Legion.”
He’s got Hal Jordan hair too. Ol’ Parralax has really not chosen the best host for his 30th century incarnation.
At one point I was playing D&D soon after reading this, and the “Oh no! Macey!” and “Not swordy!” bits were still in my head. So when my character, who uses spiked chains, got disarmed, I yelled “No~! Chainy!”
It wasn’t until I had said that out loud that I realized how it sounded. I tried referring to his weapon as Spiky thereafter.
Is he like the 30th century Wonder Woman?
You know the worst thing about this guy?
He actually did get a revival!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grimbor_the_Chainsman#Television
And if I recall correctly he got his ass beat by, who else? KARATE KID!