15
Nov
Barack Obama’s technology and open-government policy proposals are honestly some of the most inspiring things I have seen in years – commonsense use of available technology to decloak government operation and legislative debate as much as humanly possible. The fact that this sort of thing is practically revolutionary is kind of sad, but revolutionary it nonetheless is: keeping the wireless spectrum open, aggressive government support of broadband, fifty billion dollars for clean technology research, network neutrality – you name an idea supported by the technogeeks, Obama is pushing for it.
I understand that some of you may have reservations or not understand the implications thereof, so let me put it this way. Here is Anthrax and Public Enemy performing “Bring The Noise.”
Barack Obama wants you to be able to see that in even better definition using solar power forever. I trust you see why this is a great set of policy proposals now.
(I also neglected to write a while back about Obama’s emissions cap plan. Long story short: it is good, better than just about anything offered yet in America and indeed most of the world for that matter.)
14
Nov
14
Nov
Well, Marvel Comics dropped the hammer, and the interblogs are abuzz over their fancy announcement of offering comics online. And rightly so, considering this is something many of us – certainly including me – have agitated for for quite some time.
Things about their model are good and others are not. They’re only dipping their toe in the pool right now (2,500 comics is a drop in the pond, and “twenty new issues every week” doesn’t even cover a week’s worth of new releases). That makes sense considering how bold a move this is, but it’s disappointing to see such a small initial offering being treated as a holy-shit big deal. Wisely, it looks like Marvel will be offering a portion of the content for free in the first-hit-is-always-free method.
And the reader? Yeah, it could be awesome, but I’m not big on a web-based Flash app for something of this nature. I understand that Marvel probably doesn’t want to go big with their own downloadable application expressly for browsing comics stored at a central database – at least not yet – but again, it’s a case of “I understand their caution; it’s just irritating” because this sort of move is now long overdue for the Big Two. (And heck, Dark Horse and Image too, although they don’t have the capital required to really do this on their own. If Marvel is smart, as soon as is possible they’ll be offering other companies the opportunity to E-publish their comics on Marvel’s comic database.) It’s a shame, though, because I was hoping that when this happened, there’d be an option for e-reader tablets.
But the most important element of this model, the one that was absolutely key for it to be a going concern, was pricing. And in this respect, Marvel has done exactly the right thing by offering a relatively cheap subscription model for access to the database. Ten bucks a month for unlimited access, five if you go longterm? That’s a book and a half per month. If they get, say, a mere five thousand subscribers (and five thousand is a very conservative number for initial signups for this service, I think), that’s fifty thousand dollars a month in revenue, which is more than Marvel takes home from most of their individual mid-sales-range comics.
I know people wanted “iTunes for comics,” but reasonably that just wasn’t likely at a price people were willing to pay and would likely require some sort of at least minor protection (a la iTunes) preventing people from easily trading comics online amongst themselves. And, once that was in place, Marvel would also have to figure out a way from killing the secondary market entirely (and likely with it a large number of comics stores).
Bottom line? The service is priced right once the library expands, it can be expanded as Marvel sees fit, and the technical issues (such as comics availability and browser interface) can be tinkered with easily enough when necessary. It’s not quite a slam dunk, but I don’t think this ends up being anything but a winner for Marvel in the long run.
13
Nov
On my way to school, I take the St. Clair bus (normally a streetcar, but oh well, construction, it happens) to St. Clair West station, where I catch the subway north to law school. It is usually crowded and dense.
Today, outside the station, a black man – say in the range of 25-30 – stood outside, with a stack of pamphlets. I say “pamphlets,” but truly, although descriptively correct, that doesn’t convey the essence of what he held – which were more like photocopied newsletters in appearance if not content. They were labeled “Black History Now!”
And I took one, because I am the sort to read things that are free, even if only for a second or three.
“We prefer a donation.”
I was a bit surprised, but hey, what’s a buck. So I start digging through my pockets.
“It’s just to cover reproduction costs, you understand.”
And my mental bullshit alarm goes off. I can see it’s a photocopied and stapled flyer, basically. Three or four pages. Reproduction costs, maybe sixteen cents total.
“We prefer a donation of four or five dollars.”
And now I know he’s bullshitting me. But he’s doing it with style, and grace, and above all confidence. And I can’t help but admire it, you see, because he’s dressed up in suit with no overcoat, and smiling slightly – but not so greatly as to be overly ingratiating. Even though I know he’s full of crap, I want to give him some money, just for the performance of it.
I can’t help but admire it. “I only got three, is that okay?” Because maybe I admire his panache and sheer balls, but I’m not giving him everything he asks for.
“Three would be fine. How’s your day going?”
“Too damn early.” (It is seven-thirty, which in my estimation is mostly too damn early.)
“Well, you know what they say,” – this, as I hand him the three loonies – “get up early, go to bed early, best way to live.”
“I’m not gonna be going to bed early, though.” This is true – I’ll be reading contract law.
“Well, that’s a shame.” He hands me the pamphlet. “Do keep it in mind if it ever becomes a possibility. I find it makes all the difference. Good day to you, and enjoy.”
He’s a master. I almost want to give him more money. “Thanks, same to you.”
And that is how I came to spend three dollars on five pages, photocopied, of a basic reading list of black history textbooks.
Via United Hollywood, your viral video/writer’s strike mention of the day.
I really kind of suspect that the studios had no idea what they were getting into when they forced a strike.
13
Nov
So, you’ve plunked down some of your hard-earned money for The Orange Box and you’ve already finished Portal and have bugged the shit out of all your remaining friends with jokes about cake. Now what? Perhaps you want to jump into some enjoyable online competition with Team Fortress 2, the premier shooting-at-other-people game. Maybe it’s because of the awesome, vaguely-like-The Incredibles graphics. Maybe it’s because of the attention to detail both in gameplay and presentation. Maybe you just want to shoot at people and yell “TAKE THAT YOU QUEER” over your headset. Whichever of these is your personal barometer of importance, you can be sure that Team Fortress 2 will satisfy it.
However, with nine distinct classes in Team Fortress 2, the barrier to play may seem slightly daunting. Do not fret! Valve has thoughtfully designed a game where even a rank newbie can jump in and immediately begin playing like a veteran! Just be sure to follow these simple tips and you will soon be indistinguishable from the vast majority of Team Fortress 2 players so long as you shout homophobic slurs two or three times an hour.
The Heavy. Beginning players often gravitate to the Heavy, possibly because he is a big fat guy and many players will look rather like the Heavy (minus the obvious muscle, of course), but also because his gameplay is quite simple. Remember, anybody playing a Medic is your slave, and everybody loves hearing you shout for the Medic twenty times in a row. After all, nobody deserves healing ahead of you, because you are the big strong Heavy and everybody else is just a tiny ant that you will squish. You never have to duck or hide because you have 300 hit points, more than anybody else, and 300 is practically infinite. Oh, and make sure you always spin your barrel so you can fire at a moment’s notice. Who cares if it makes you an easier target? 300 hit points, baby!
The Soldier. Hey, remember how back when you played Quake 2 everybody always wanted the rocket launcher? The Soldier is the only class who gets the rocket launcher! That means the Soldier is the best class of them all! Your slow-moving rockets are especially fantastic for long-range combat with Snipers. In addition to getting the rocket launcher, you also get to rocket-jump. Rocket-jumping is awesome, and you will always have enough hit points to survive the landing, and you definitely won’t lift up in a slow, graceful arc that makes it easy to be shot to death in midair.
The Demoman. The Demoman comes with two grenade launchers. The first grenade launcher shoots grenades that explode on impact with enemies, and which clatter around if they miss. If you are a Demoman, ninety-nine percent of your grenades are intended to miss. You don’t even have to come close. Just keep shooting grenades wherever you like. If anybody complains, explain to them about “suppression fire” and why you’re actually winning the game by filling that alleyway with grenades. Now the enemy team has to attack through one of the other two entries – you’re helping pin them down! The other Demoman grenade launcher fires stickybombs which can kill your teammates if you trigger them at the wrong time. The wrong time is never “when there is at least one enemy in range of my stickybomb explosion,” even if four of your teammates are there. (You may also want to explain “attrition” to them as well.)
The Scout. You can outrun anything. You saw it in the trailer – the sentry guns and the Heavy can’t shoot the Scout, because you’re just so fast. Would the trailer be inaccurate? And the Scout counts double for capturing control points, which means you should always break into a dead run for the control point. Going anywhere else is a waste of time. Maybe you can double-jump every so often for variety, but Scouts have one job to do, so do it. Heck, suicide charges worked for the Soviets at Stalingrad and for Iran in the Iran-Iraq war, so they should work for you too!
The Pyro. Never, ever, ever switch from your flamethrower. So what if it’s useless at long range? What happens if an enemy suddenly pops out right in front of you? You’ll be glad you had the flamethrower then! Heck, why even take your hand off the trigger? Just rush the enemy with your flamethrower going full blast. You’re bound to set some of them on fire before you die, and if you’re playing a Pyro, the only thing that counts is how many enemies you set on fire, as opposed to how many you actually kill. Also, it says in the rulebook that you should ambush people with your flamethrower, so go ahead and do that. Nobody else has read the rulebook and thus will not be expecting you to hide in all those obvious hiding-place that jut off long corridors.
The Engineer. The Engineer is the last line of defense for any team. That means you build all your structures at the control point closest to your base. Even the teleporter exit. The other players can handle all those other control points – you’re going to guarantee that your opponents never take the last one. And if you stalemate your opponent, that’s very nearly as good as winning! Also, remember to build the sentry gun first because the dispenser just gives you more metal to build other structures, while the sentry gun can shoot people (if they ever get close). And never forget that every ammunition box is, by definition, yours. Other players understand this and never need ammunition. They’re too busy dying trying to get those control points the other team controls anyway; they’ll never need all their ammo…
The Sniper. Some people will tell you that the Sniper is the toughest class to play in the entire game. Those people are stupid. Sniping is easy: you pick a point a long way away and shoot at anybody who goes through that area. Don’t hide your laser sight, because the other team isn’t paying attention to it anyway, and you want to be at exactly the right spot so you can get more headshots. Also, remember that the best time to play a Sniper is when you’re attacking and trying to gain ground, because the class excels on offense. Does your attacking team have less than four Snipers? Then why not play one? You can always use more Snipers! It’s a support class – doesn’t everybody like to be supported?
The Medic. Your Ubercharge is quite possibly the most dangerous ability in the entire game, so be sure to use it on a class that can really make best use of it. A Sniper, say, or maybe a Scout. And remember, if you have to Uber up a Heavy, don’t bother staying close to him or anything like that. And be sure to try and kill people with your needle gun from time to time. That way, they respect you.
The Spy. Disguise yourself as a class the other team doesn’t have. They’ll be even more confused that way. When attacking an engineer station, stab the Engineer then try to take out the sentry gun. Don’t worry about being detected while cloaked – it never happens, and if you uncloak while the enemy can see you, they’ll probably be too busy to notice anyway. The Spy: the easiest class to play!
12
Nov
12
Nov
12
Nov
People kept emailing me asking me when I was going to do another comic parody, and my answer was always the same. “When the time is right, grasshopper.”
World War Hulk? No. Firstly, it was actually good; secondly, it doesn’t have a lot of clunky expository dialogue and adding it would just be clumsy. Amazons Attack? Closer, but again, not nearly enough dialogue, and although it was profoundly stupid it wasn’t stupid in the right sort of ambitious way, but instead stupid in the way that, say, Larry The Cable Guy is stupid. Countdown? Well, it’s certainly a bad comic, but nothing really happens in any given issue; I can’t just write twenty-two pages of dicking around because DC has already done that for me. Any given issue of Wolverine: Origins? I considered it, but really. Wolverine isn’t that much fun for me to write. (It’s why I went with the “bub snikt snikt bub” joke in the first place.)
It seemed hopeless. But then DC went and did me a favour by publishing a comic both arrogantly ambitious and flagrantly ill-thought out. They published Death Of The New Gods, and I was thankful.
Thumbnails behind the cut, of course.
9
Nov
Bahlactus nasty.
9
Nov
(Oh, I actually don’t have anything to write about Ron Paul particularly. I just figure if I say something bad about Ron Paul, it will give me a lot of extra traffic.)
Found in a Pyjamas Media column’s comments:
I’m not sure you do. Hollywood has made utter garbage at least 90% of the time for at least 10 years, if not more. I will provide just one factoid. In the last two decades, more actresses have won the academy award for portraying a prostitute than for portraying any other profession. Why do current Hollywood writers have such a obsession with prostitution?
First off, I went and checked, because I was pretty sure that “factoid” was not actually, like, true. And of course it isn’t. Only one woman has won an Academy Award in the last twenty years for portraying a prostitute, and it’s kind of a stretch to say that because the woman in question was Charlize Theron for her work as Aileen Wuornos in Monster, and the most distinguishing aspect of the character was not that she was a prostitute but that she was a serial killer.
In comparison: two cops (Helen McDormand in Fargo and Jodie Foster in The Silence of the Lambs) and three rich British ladies (Helen Mirren in The Queen, Emma Thompson in Howard’s End, and Gwyneth Paltrow in Shakespeare In Love). WHY does Hollywood continue to glamourize cops and rich British ladies? WHY?
Secondly, though, I wanted to just make my general disgust with this line of argument known. You can argue against the strike in good faith (and Brad Fox has done so, both here in the comments and at his own joint), even though I won’t agree with you. But the line of argument advanced above – and it’s easily the majority opinion among those (mostly conservative) commenters is “I don’t like it so they don’t deserve anything.”
And that’s just abhorrent. It doesn’t matter if you think Hollywood makes a lot of crap; they also make about a trillion dollars a year in revenue, so the question of whether you personally are invested in the product is moot. It’s both stupid and insulting to think that you have to like a business to determine whether or not its practices are sound.
The question is simple: do writers, having helped to produce a product that is financially successful, deserve a share of that financial success? Answer that question. Jesus, how is this hard?
7
Nov
Let me be plain as possible before I start giving you links:
The WGA writers’ strike is practically the definition of a just strike. This is a battle over corporations earning billions of dollars and unfairly refusing to give those most responsible for the creation of the content which mandates their profits their proper due.
Most screenwriters aren’t rich. Yes, the average salary of a Hollywood screenwriter is $200,000. However, that figure is overinflated by the high end of rich screenwriters, the tiny minority who make millions per picture, the Tina Feys and the Steve Carells. (Both of whom, I might add, are striking.) The median salary for a screenwriter is about twenty thousand dollars. So this isn’t a battle between “billionaires and millionaires,” much like the last actors’ strike, where everybody focused on Leonardo DiCaprio’s salary and ignored the fact that most actors, stunningly enough, are not Leonardo DiCaprio.
So, links:
– John August explains the basics.
– John Rogers lays out some excellent metaphor (“that tiger went tiger“) and some mild prediction.
– Ken Levine provides some perspective.
– Rick Schimpf quotes Micah Wright’s now-infamous “Screwed Over For Spongebob” post and adds some commentary. Also, he provides a link to this informative Youtube.
– An account of what happened at the eleventh-hour negotiations.
– Chris Kelly explains residuals.
– Related to the previous item: Mark Evanier explains why residuals aren’t just fair but also encourage writers to perform better.
– Brian K. Vaughn weighs in.
– And finally, Craig Newmark asks the pressing question on everybody’s minds.
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