SCENE: A nearly-deserted parking lot. BARACK OBAMA enters from the right side of the screen. BARACK OBAMA: Hi. I’m Barack Obama, and you probably know I’m running for President. Recently, Hillary Clinton and John McCain have both attacked me over my refusal to remove the gas tax. They say I’m not responsive to the needs […]

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A new thing by me and fellow Torontoist-ist Patrick Metzger, debating the properness of Ontario Human Rights Commissioner Barbara Hall’s condemnation of Maclean’s for publishing an excerpt of Mark Steyn’s shitpile book America Alone is up at Torontoist. For those interested in more background information, Johann Hari’s excellent review goes into more depth on the […]

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Did you know you can run your car on water? It’s true! Just send me $500 and I will send you a kit explaining the miracle of oxyhydrogen, also known as “Brown’s Gas,” and you will never again have to worry about fueling up! This miracle fuel which in no way violates the laws of […]

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My weekly TV column is up at Torontoist.

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Via Junkyard Clubhouse, I discovered this site filled with image captures from a 1979 church-group cookbook, and after having looked through the (really disgusting) recipes, I have a question. A lot of the recipes seem to combine Jell-O and pineapple. But I thought pineapple was, like, the thing you couldn’t combine with Jell-O? Because of […]

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SCENE: A STUDIO BIGWIG and his three JUNIOR EXECUTIVES sit at a table. BIGWIG: All right. As you know, today is Number Two’s birthday. Do not giggle, Number One. FIRST JUNIOR EXECUTIVE: …but… so funny… THIRD JUNIOR EXECUTIVE: Deep breaths. Come on. BIGWIG: Yes. As it is his birthday, and I have an opening in […]

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(This, incidentally, is not a poor neighbourhood.)

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The absolute best way to get the public on your side, if you are a union in charge of an essential public service like say public transit, is to flash-strike with less than an hour’s warning on Friday night when all the people who have gone out for Friday night and who rely on said […]

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To avoid running this into the ground, Friday Youtubery in May is going to start with a new show. That having been said, I’ve had all seven seasons of The West Wing playing in the background as I’ve studied for my exams, and I think I’m gonna write a few critical essays in the next […]

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“”Unfortunately, I can’t decry the process of “asking repeatedly,” mainly because it’s the only stimuli a lot of women respond to. Frankly, I think any woman who has to be begged fifteen times before she eventually accepts should be drug into the back alleyways and beaten” What what what? Okay, previous statement about generally decent […]

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Every Thursday, mightygodking.com returns to the pages of Who’s Who, the classic 1980s DC comic book encyclopedia of their characters. Every week, a character shall be judged on the only scale scientific enough that matters: the Rex The Wonder Dog scale of fantasticosity. So who’s this guy? He’s Unimaginable. Yeah, but who is he? I […]

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I’ve gotten a few mails asking me to weigh in on the whole “Open Source Boob Project” kerfuffle, and I’m not sure why,[1] because as of this writing “theferrett” has already realized that the idea was very, very bad and would inevitably just lead to very, very bad things happening. This does not surprise me, […]

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And we’re back, after a massive overload. I feel loved. The issues ongoing re: server load are being dealt with, but suffice it to say people really, really like their Atari. While I am discussing site issues, one more thing I wanted to generally consult with my readership on: tags. I like tags, but there […]

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