“The reason the public is outraged at rich excess is because Democratic government officials, who hate and envy rich people, told them to be outraged.”

No, seriously. It’s quite possibly the single most witless thing David Brooks has ever written, and given that this is David Brooks that is saying something.

So I’ve gotten a bit of mail about CUPE Ontario’s decision to recommend a “ban” on Israeli academics in Canadian universities, most likely because I’m currently attending Osgoode Hall Law School, which is at York, which is the subject of a prolonged strike on the part of CUPE.

And… well, what is there to say, really? Other than that CUPE remains seemingly determined to be the stupidest, most offensive cariacature of a union possible. Really, demanding that Israelis apologize for what’s happening in Gaza right now – I don’t see how that’s any different from going up to a Muslim and demanding that they apologize for (9/11 / terrorism / oil prices / et cetera). It’s the practice of applying collective guilt to a populace, which is both morally bankrupt and completely stupid at the same time, not to mentional fundamentally irresponsible.

It’s yet another laughable attempt at public relevance from the gang that couldn’t shoot straight. Fuck them.

Igor Panarin’s breakup scenario for the United States has been getting play in the media lately. It’s not particularly new; I remember reading about Panarin’s crackpot bullshit a couple of years ago. But it’s still extremely stupid. Seriously, take a look at this map:

That is some seriously stupid crap right there.

Okay, first off – the “Californian Republic” will be under Chinese influence? Really? Is this because of the teeming Chinese hordes along the Pacific coast who will no doubt rise up and demand the Pacific states swear fealty to the secret elder mandarins who run all China behind the scenes? (For some reason, they will also want Utah. Presumably Chinese people just love Mormons.) It’s not entirely unrealistic to suggest that Hawaii might revert to Japanese control (seeing as how it used to be under Japanese control, way back in the day), but there’s a reason Hawaii is American rather than Chinese: it’s twice as far from China as it is from the United States. Which is why the whole “Chinese control” idea is so ludicrous: the Pacific Rim states are over seven thousand kilometers away from China, so China can’t reasonably control or hope to protect them via conventional arms.

Secondly, I really love how he groups redneck conservative Appalachia – Tennessee and Kentucky and West Virginia – into the same condensed political grouping that includes Massachusetts, Connecticut and Vermont. That is what we call planning. And, of course, these states will join the European Union, which is only five thousand kilometers away as the (very tired) crow flies.

Thirdly, speaking as a Canadian, I didn’t realize we had any influence over Kansas, Colorado or South Dakota. However, this gives us Mount Rushmore, so I totally approve and we will re-carve it so that it displays John A. MacDonald, Wilfred Laurier, William Lyon Mackenzie King and Pierre Trudeau. Then the NDP will complain, so we will replace Laurier with Tommy Douglas and everybody will be happy! Except Americans, but they won’t be Americans any more so hah on them, that’s what I say.

Of course, given that Panarin openly fantasizes about Russia reclaiming Alaska and that’s really the entire point of the article (yes, I’m sure they’d want to come back to Mother Russia, Igor), it doesn’t take a lot of smarts to recognize that this is nothing more than the academic equivalent of jerking off. What’s more worrisome is that this twat and his back-of-the-napkin pontifications are actually being taken seriously by far too much of the Russian political establishment. I just hope they have better things to do then to wait around for the collapse of the United States so they can actually pretend to be a superpower again.

So a reader emailed me and asked for my take on this whole governor of Illinois getting arrested for being corrupt thing.

My take is this: it is only newsworthy because something is happening to him.

Yes, Rob Blagowhatever (I’m not going to bother trying to learn to spell it properly) is corrupt as fuck, and his misdeeds (including, most recently, trying to secretly auction off Barack Obama’s vacated Senate seat to the highest bidder) are amazingly venal and self-serving. The problem is that in any system of government of a reasonable size, this is inevitably going to happen – it happens in dictatorships, in monarchies, and in democracies. The longer somebody is in the top dog position, the more they will come to realize the innumerable number of ways they can use their power to benefit themselves over the long (or even medium) term, and the longer they will have to succumb to temptation.

Anybody familiar with the career of, say, Rudy Giuliani, Pete Wilson or Jean Chretien knows that Blagowhatever’s venality is far from uncommon. The best we can hope for is that they aren’t too greedy and that they do, in fact, have some interest in promoting the public good while they get theirs. (Chretien might have been a greedy bastard, but he ended his career using every last ounce of political fuck-you he had to get gay marriage rights passed in Canada, and for that he will always have my grudging respect.)

This, in a nutshell, is the argument for term limits.

Of course, the argument against term limits is equally simple: you need people who know what they’re doing in any sufficiently complex system, and government is a more complex system than most. Having a few corrupt bastards around is a relatively small price to pay for having a functional government that can respond well to emergencies and generally serves the public well. Blagowhatever is simply an example of a politician who vastly overestimated the public’s tolerance of his bullshit (and, perhaps more importantly, the tolerance of the movers and shakers upon whom he depended for his political livelihood). He wasn’t the first; he won’t be the last.

I have a friend at law school named Jack (pseudonym of my own choice). Jack is intelligent, works hard, and clearly already has a disgustingly impressive career ahead of him. Jack is also a Tory (he’s worked for the Minister of Justice), and we like to argue politics all the time because arguing politics with a friend who disagrees with you in good faith on serious issues (in our case, mostly philosophical differences over taxation and the size and appropriate power level of government) is something that just makes you sharper for arguing your own case, as well as forcing you to think hard about your own positions in the process.

Last Monday, I got to come into class and watch him be annoyed with Stephen Harper for overreaching. This Monday, he got to come into class and watch me be annoyed with the Liberal party in general, and it’s for the same reason I always get annoyed with the Liberal party. As Jack said to me, “how can you support, even slightly, a party that’s only interested in power?”

And of course anybody worth supporting in the Liberals – Stephane Dion, Gerard Kennedy, Ken Dryden, Garth Turner, Justin Trudeau, Martha Hall Findlay, et cetera – isn’t just interested in power. The problem for the Liberals is that people of this stripe are perceived to be a minority. And the reason that people think serious, dedicated public servants are a minority in the Liberal ranks is because they are a minority in the Liberal ranks.

The coalition debacle – and make no mistake, at this point it’s a debacle – is simply one case in point. It’s been less than two weeks since the coalition agreement was announced. Since then, half a dozen Liberals have publicly stated they’re against the coalition, including that useless limpdick Michael Ignatieff. Guess what, assholes: the moment to say you were against the coalition? Was before you stopped thinking it might work. Don’t try to convince anybody that you were taking time to deliberate about whether or not it was the right thing to do; we all know you were just waiting to figure out whether or not the public liked the idea.

The sad thing is that the public could have been convinced to support the idea, if the Liberal Party had had the balls it never ever seems to fucking need. “This is a perfectly normal procedure in Canada’s Parliamentary system; we’ve just never had occasion to use it.” “Germany has coalition governments all the time and their government works just fine.” “We represent sixty-two percent of the popular vote in Canada; last I checked, that was a majority.” “Stephen Harper was trying to get a coalition government formed in 2004 and he didn’t seem to think it was such a horrible idea then.” The Tory arguments against a coalition government were so hypocritical and base and just plain stupid that it should have been easy: just get everybody you can to a podium somewhere and let them take turns making the Tories look like asshats.

Except that didn’t happen, did it? It didn’t happen because the Grits didn’t want to get on board and risk their asses, precisely because most of them never want to risk their asses. It didn’t happen for the same reason Stephane Dion’s leadership collapsed: precious few in the party were willing to step up and go to bat for the team, not when it would get in the way of their own political futures. (The idea that stepping up and fighting on principle can create a political future is foreign to these idiots, I swear.)

It’s a party full of Liebermans, a collection of spineless twats with beliefs so vaguely defined that they can mean anything and be anything except something. People have blamed Stephane Dion’s image for being the reason why the Conservatives came out ahead in the last election, but that’s not it at all – when people saw Dion in the debates, they liked him more. The problem with the Liberal Party is that people think they’re weasels, and they know that the Tories stand for something. They might not agree with the Tories on most things, but at least, they figure, the Tories are neutered by Canada’s general political beliefs. (Whether or not this would be the case in the instance of a Tory majority government is up for debate.)

In the choice between “fuck you” and “eh,” people will choose “fuck you” more often than “eh.” That the Liberals still don’t get this is one of the reasons their party is gradually dying.

Graeme (who is worthy of a vote for Best Non-Partisan Blog, incidentally) is somewhat wrong here:

As Adam Daifallah, one of Canada’s more thoughtful conservative commentators, points out, a coalition government would short-circuit the Liberal Party’s “wilderness years”, a time of rebuilding and reflection it sorely needs in the wake of scandal and defeat. The Progressive Conservatives went through a similar process post-1993, and it worked wonders for their electability. Wilderness years are important to the Liberals, because Canada needs a solid Liberal Party. It’s political mutability makes it a party of the center, which is the only logical position from which to govern a modern, cosmopolitan state.

The Progressive Conservatives did not regenerate their electability. The Progressive Conservatives had “wilderness years” followed by slow and steady extinction. The 1993 election, along with the formation of the Reform Party and the Bloc Quebecois, killed the party and left a small electoral rump that didn’t quite realize it was dead yet, not until Peter Mackay shot it in the head in 2003 and gave the newly-birthed and much further-right Conservative party a touch of centrist respectability.

Moreover, the problem that the Liberals have isn’t a lack of ability to govern well or a lack of ability to attract voters (despite the recent electoral drubbing). The problem that the Liberals have is that the Conservatives were ready to trick out the new system of party funding before they were, and the Tories pushed that advantage as far as it could go. Worse, the Tories are willing to essentially cheat by running negative advertising well in advance of an election, the calling of which remains in their hands for as long as they’re in power. If there was no move for a coalition and Bob Rae or Michael Ignatieff or Steve Furtzwinkel became the Liberal Party leader next week, one week later you’d start seeing Tory ads on the airwaves. “Steve Furtzwinkel: Not A Leader. Not Someone We Can Trust.” And then, come the election, the best-case scenario is that people aren’t sure about Furtzwinkel’s ability to lead, and the worst-case is that they’re sure he isn’t ready.

Do not doubt for a second that the Tories – and Stephen Harper in particular – lack an understanding of the power of political narrative. Harper’s entire governing style is geared towards this method while he has a minority: govern relatively divisively and use it to your advantage, by forcing the Liberals and others to either vote against the ridiculous proposals (and then call an election, which Canadians at this point loathe) or suck it up and vote against them (and then be labeled divisive and partisan and “not willing to make minority government work”).

That kind of institutional abuse of power is difficult to defeat, so I fully understand why the left-wing parties have decided to not play Harper’s game, where their choice is always lose or lose.

If this actually happens, it is just more proof for my theory that most Canadians only feel comfortable when they are slightly to the left of most Americans.

Also, it turns out that trying to end public electoral financing and taking away peoples’ right to strike? Not a good idea!

Dear President Obama: Do everything I say you should do, which falls in line with my civic philosophy, or the American public will rise up and roundhouse kick you in the face collectively.

BONUS FUN CHUCK NORRIS FACT: Before internet nerds decided that the Vin Diesel Facts meme was funnier with Chuck Norris, he was Kirk Cameron with a beard.

Barack Obama’s race has been discussed practically to death in this last year – what it means that a black man can be elected President, what it means that white people will vote for him, what it means that white people won’t vote for him, and did his wife call someone “whitey”? (Answer: no.) But ultimately that hasn’t driven his campaign, historic as his candidacy might be (and it is). What has fundamentally driven his campaign is this: people decided, by and large, that this was a decent man.

This is not small potatoes. About the best we can ever hope for in politics, anywhere in the world, ninety-nine percent of the time, is to get somebody in charge about whom one can say “well, he might be a son of a bitch, but he’s our son of a bitch,” and make do with that. We have, as a whole, largely divorced ourselves from the idea that political leaders can be upstanding, moral citizens; we expect them to be bastards because the process demands that they be bastards to win.

The idea that Barack Obama could be a genuinely decent human being and win the Presidency – be a person capable of making the hard choices required of the job but nonetheless doing so while maintaining, as best he can, a state of moral grace – is exciting, and terrifying, and awe-inspiring. Contrary to what people might tell you, it takes more than just saying “we need change” to move people; you need to say it and then make people believe you can do it, and cracking the fundamental cynicism of a First World electorate is nearly impossible.

But Obama did it, and he made it look goddamned easy. And he did it while creating a campaign funding model that has the potential to essentially end large-donor corruption of election campaigns.

Either Obama has managed the greatest trick in the history of politics, or he’s the real deal. I am genuinely unsure which is more staggering in its implications.

—

But of course it is about race, too. It’s always been about race, which is the unspoken focus of American public life; nobody likes to admit that racial politics and its related implications have defined American society since its very beginning (right from when abolitionists “compromised” with slaveowners in a deal that, in retrospect, was Never Going To Work, but can you blame them for trying?).

It is the fact that it is about race that makes Obama’s election all the more noteworthy. By this point you’ve probably read about the 109-year-old daughter of slaves voting for Obama, or the elderly seventy- and eighty-year-old black people who drank at coloreds-only water fountains breaking down in tears after they got to vote for a black man for President, or seen the pictures of young black children at rallies staring at him in wonder. These are all good stories, of course.

But that is nothing compared to what comes next – a generation of people who will grow up without the automatic preconception that “President” automatically means “white guy, probably also old.” That’s really going to change things in ways you and I, with our blinkered, limited-by-our-experiences-and-upbringing vision, can’t begin to imagine.

And it couldn’t have happened anywhere else. Obama said as much early in his campaign, and liberals outside of the United States all started immediately complaining, but he wasn’t wrong. It couldn’t have happened anywhere else; no other country has both the sufficiently diverse population and the (relatively) free electoral system to manage the trick. (The Canadian equivalent would have been electing a First Nations prime minister, which, if I – and for that matter all Native Canadians – get very lucky, might happen sometime in my elderly years.)

I said once, a long time ago, that America is not a nation which can be content to keep pace with the progression of the rest of the world; it is one that continually wants to lead the pack and ultimately to lap it, and that is one of the great things about the American character. Electing Obama is an example of that.

—

The challenges that lie before him are nigh unbelievable. It is not hyperbolic in the least to say that the world faces financial ruin; it is no less overdramatic to suggest that the viability of the human species as a whole is at serious, even critical risk thanks to our environmental negligence. There’s that whole forthcoming oil emergency supply to worry about, too. Let’s not forget that natural resources we take utterly for granted – the honeybee, the seedless banana – could become extinct before I hit retirement age. In the face of all this, it might seem that something as relatively simple as creating a workable healthcare system for the American public would be comparatively easy, but that alone could be the major job of a Presidency – and accomplishing only it would be impressive.

For Obama, it is not enough and it will never be enough. People suggesting that he needs to be the Jackie Robinson of politics miss the point; Jackie Robinson’s metaphorical level of accomplishment is something Obama will need to shatter in his first hundred days. Obama needs to be the Michael Jordan, the Wayne Gretzky, the Tiger Woods of politics; he needs to be consistently great from his very first day, his very first hour to simply keep his country’s head above water, to say nothing of the wider world. He needs to destroy all expectations and mobilize the citizenry of his country to take part in an orgy of civic reconnection so amazing and uplifting that it would put the fear of God into Mao Zedong.

It seems almost impossible. The rationalist in me thinks that he will try valiantly and ultimately fail, that the world is likely due for a very long night and that no leader, no matter how skilled, can prevent this. The nature of the challenge that he faces – that we all face – is just that daunting.

But when I become depressed, I consider that just over forty years ago, in Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner, Sidney Poitier’s character conceded that a black president within his lifetime was impossible and that he would “settle for Secretary of State.” That is how entrenched social attitude was: even a fictional liberal black man, educated and proud, could not bring himself to believe that a black man could become president. It was impossible. Everybody knew this.

But here we are.

Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner debuted in 1967. Barack Obama would have been six years old at that time. In just under forty-one years since, we’ve gone from impossibility to reality. It took mankind nearly fifteen hundred years to learn to fly once we started trying, two hundred and fifty to circumnavigate the globe, one hundred sixty to generate and manage electric current; it took only forty-one years to overcome millenniae of racial suspicion and fear.

And if we can overcome ingrained hatred that quickly – perhaps not to utterly conquer it, but at the very least to put it firmly in check – then what can’t we do?

Today was a very good day. For now, we can worry about tomorrow when tomorrow comes.

But consider this an open thread for me to make comments and for you to make comments.

6:54: Holy shit it’s only 51-48 McCain in Kentucky. And Lunsford, the Democrat, is ahead of Mitch McConnell 51-49. Only ten percent in, but.

7:02: Oh good, CNN has Soledad O’Brien with a touchboard and an old guy explaining exit polls, which are wildly inaccurate (remember 2004?) and pointless. Why can’t they just do a softshoe or something? Meanwhile, BBC Canada has the Beeb coverage, which is sober and sensible, much like a British banker. (Except without the suicidal urges of late.)

7:11: I would very much like to punch Bill Bennett in his smug fat-fuck face. LIBERAL RAAAAAAAGE!

7:16: CNN has some lady reporter appearing as a hologram in the studio. KILL IT WITH FIRE

7:17: …and they made the Princess Leia joke, which is why I didn’t make it. Sometimes this shit is played out before you even start, you know?

7:28: BIG SHOCKING NEWS: McCain only leading in rural counties thus far. I KNOW IT IS SHOCKING NEWS! Wolf Blitzer is so excited to report on this news! He told me so!

7:47: Chill, people. Most of the reporting is coming from rural counties: cities almost always report last because they take more time. Obama is going to WIPE FLOOR in Indiana and probably Virginia as well. (Georgia – I think it’ll be close but not so much a win.)

7:58: WHY THEY CALL SOME STATES AND NOT OTHERS. Even if McCain was ahead, say, 55-45 in Indiana, they wouldn’t call it before knowing how Lake and the other counties that are just Chicago suburbs voted, because those counties have a big enough population and a big enough chance of going heavily and predictably Democratic that they can swing an election all by themselves. Extrapolate this logic to them calling South Carolina for McCain but not Georgia for McCain despite the vote totals. In Georgia they’re waiting to see what happens in Atlanta; in SoCal there’s nothing that is a big deal left that is a big mystery, although of course there could always be a shocker (but there won’t). EXPLAINED!

8:04: Soledad-O explains to us that South Carolina went for McCain because of all the evangelical Christians, what with their ark-building and predilection for stonings.

8:21: I never noticed it before but David Axelrod looks uncannily like a more-shaven version of Toby Ziegler.

8:27: Wait, they are airing commercials for Zack and Miri Make a Porno in the US that cut off the “make a porno” part of the title? LAAAAAAAME.

8:30: New Hampshire called for Obama. The Josiah Bartlet endorsement probably did that.

8:41: CNN finally gets off the fence and calls Pennsylvania for Obama. HA HA FUCK YOU MCCAIN.

8:52: GOP Official Hispanic Guy Alex Castellanos carrying water like a good trooper and explaining how Mitch McConnell or Saxby Chambliss getting their asses handed to them can still be a good thing.

8:55: Only a few minutes until the Midwest reports in and McCain can get some, what do you call them, oh yes, “electoral votes.”

9:02: As McCain gets Wyoming and North Dakota (ooooh, he’s so special), I witness a new talking point being born as Soledad-O and her touchscreen buddy explain to us that of voters who said that race was important in determining their vote, 55 percent voted for Obama. Get ready for every right-wing asshole explaining to you how Obama only won the Presidency because of magical sympathy votes for the black guy. I’m not kidding; you’re gonna hear it.

9:06: Bill Bennett (I hate him so much ARGH) explains that the lack of the Bradley Effect proves that America has “grown up” and that racism doesn’t exist any more. Which is bullshit, because the reason this election is so close is because a significant percentage of Americans were willing to out-and-out say they didn’t want to vote for the black guy rather than feel guilty about admitting that fact.

9:10: Tara Wall, who is a black female Republican I had never heard of before tonight, explains how Republicans can take hope despite an electoral drubbing because Mitch Daniels won the governorship of Indiana. EVERYTHING IS GOOD FOR CONSERVATIVES!

9:21: David Gergen ponderously explains that Obama may not have coattails because Mitch McConnell will squeak out a victory in Kentucky and Saxby Chambliss may yet win in Georgia. Yes, a black candidate who cannot magically generate wins in the Deep South is a lesser being!

9:25: As Hank Williams Junior serenades a roomful of downbeat white people at McCain HQ, Wolf Blitzer promises a YOOOOOGE announcement after the break. Fifty-fifty: Ohio or Florida.

9:36: Ohio goes Obama and the CROWD! GOES! WILD! Meanwhile, Virginia now in a dead heat, Indiana still winnable, and the forces of goodness and light ahead in North Carolina and Florida.

9:39: Total LOL of the night: at McCain campaign HQ, they’ve stopped announcing the states they’ve lost. MCCAIN WILL BE PRESIDENT OF WYOMING, MOTHERFUCKERS!

9:52: Bill Bennett explains that John McCain is a special, special boy for keeping the campaign “so close” when it was a “perfect storm” for Obama to win, what with him being black and being liberal and having an Arabic name all being so awesomely in Obama’s favour and all. John McCain is the bestest!

9:57: Okay, I am going to mostly peace out for an hour while I watch the Daily Show election special. Feel free to continue discussing and commenting in my mostly-absence.

10:07: (it’s a commercial break and Obama has finally pulled ahead in Virginia.)

10:44: Aasif Mandvi’s “report from Al Qaeda HQ” bit was easily the high point of this special, he said as Virginia became more and more clearly Obama territory.

10:49: Charles Ogletree, who was the Obama’s legal mentor at Harvard Law School, is now on and my god he is just killing it – intelligent, naturally funny, getting off good lines at Colbert’s obviously delighted expense. He should be on teevee more.

11:12: Juan Williams is in tears on CNN. Wonderful moment.

11:19: John McCain tries to start the traditional polite concession speech and his supporters BOO the mention of Obama. Stay classy, Republicans.

11:33: Maybe the win is guaranteed now, but size of it still matters; hence, Obama taking Florida? Good news.

11:53: And they are partying like fuck at Ebenezer Baptist Church. Good on them.

11:54: Prop 8 currently passing at 54-46 with ten percent of votes in. Come on, left coasters, fix that shit.

Seriously! If you already voted, then don’t vote because that’s illegal and stuff. But otherwise you should totally go vote! Get in line if you have to! Voting is important!

In the meantime, although I of course recommend you vote for Barack Obama, if you cannot bring yourself to vote for him, I heartily recommend Jeff Boss for the Presidency. Despite the fact that Mr. Boss is clearly a sort of a crazy person, his platform still manages to be better and more specific than John McCain’s.

And if you don’t want to vote for a man you’ve never seen, you can see him rocking the “suit and baseball cap” combo outfit on his Senate campaign page. Yes, Jeff Boss is running for both President and Senator of New Jersey at the same time! That is because Jeff Boss has work ethic, man.

“Do we have to do this?” said the angel, who like all of God’s agents felt Compassion above all. “It seems so cruel. One more day, and she can see him become President.”

YES, said God. SHE HAS DONE HER JOB AND KNOWS THAT HE WILL SUCCEED. SHE WILL NOT SUFFER.

“But what of him? She raised him. Does he not deserve to show his grandmother all he managed to do in honor of her?”

HE WILL GRIEVE. THAT DOES HER HONOR AS WELL.

“But – one more day – ”

HIS LOSS WILL PUT IN HIM A GREAT RESOLVE, TO DO EVEN MORE TO BE WORTHY OF HER MEMORY AND LINEAGE. FROM THAT RESOLVE GREAT THINGS SHALL BE WROUGHT. THIS IS A TIME OF NEED. ULTIMATELY HE WILL DRAW STRENGTH FROM IT.

“It just doesn’t seem fair, is all.”

THAT IS BECAUSE IT IS NOT. IT IS MERELY NECESSARY.

(crossposted from a comment at MetaFilter)