German girl falls asleep at tattoo parlor, having requested three small stars on the side of her temple.

Tattoo artist decides to go buck wild on her.

UPDATE: People, of course I don’t buy her story. Tattoo needles are not exactly soothing. You don’t fall asleep while somebody is tattooing your face.

Top comment: This is the money quote from that translated article: “I have wanted always coloured puntjes beside my linkeroog.”

I think that pretty much says it all. — mgrabois

People sometimes try to convince me that Mark Steyn’s drivel is worth taking seriously. As counter, I suggest people read his latest screed for Maclean’s wherein he bravely tackles the demon that is empathy:

Then-senator Obama voted against the confirmation of Chief Justice Roberts because the nominee said he saw the judge’s role as that of “umpire.” The President wants someone less hung up on the rule book. He likes to cite the case of Lilly Ledbetter, who sued Goodyear Tire for discrimination but ran up against the pesky old statute of limitations. An “empathetic” judge would presumably say, “Screw the statute of limitations.”

Now, Steyn is actually pretty smart despite his lack of ethics, so presumably he knows that the issue in Ledbetter v. Goodyear wasn’t whether or not to get rid of “the pesky old statute of limitations” but how the statute of limitations was applied, because the question was whether the statute of limitations should start running from the point that the pay discrimination that Ledbetter suffered began, or whether it should start running from the point where she became aware of it. The conservative wing of the Supreme Court decided against all common sense that it should be the former, and that the clock on Ledbetter’s ability to sue in fact began years before she even knew that she was being discriminated against.

Again, Steyn probably knows this. But I doubt he cares; it’s just one more bullet in his gun filled with the usual cheap potshots about how Palestinians are actually savage animals (which he knows because he was in the West Bank for a week this one time and he totally saw tons of convenience stores with “Martyr of the Week” posters, and just because Steyn was just busy completely mischaracterizing a well-known and entirely public legal decision two paragraphs previously, why would we ever suspect him of being a fabulist in this regard?) and then accusing Barack Obama of sympathizing with terrorists in his Cairo speech (you know, the one where he bluntly told the Arab world that violent extremism wasn’t just unacceptable, but also that Holocaust denialism was ridiculous, and that Palestinians needed to come to grips with the fact that the Israelis aren’t going anywhere, and that Muslim countries need to better ensure women’s rights).

He’s a cheap hack. He always has been, he always will be. Don’t ever forget it.

Top comment: Y’know, I notice that people keep angrily bringing up the fact that you called Steyn a cheap hack, but no-one seems to care that you called him a malicious asshole, too. — Skemono

So yesterday there was a very big protest here in Toronto, as Tamil protestors trying to get Canada to intervene in the Sri Lankan Civil War closed down the Gardiner Expressway for about five hours. The protests were certainly illegal in that they obstructed traffic without a permit, but were almost wholly nonviolent. (The police later announced that they arrested three people out of over three thousand.)

The following comments are taken from the CP24, Globe and Mail and National Post coverage.

IF YOU WERE REAL MANLY MEN YOU WOULD HAVE STAYED BEHIND AND GOTTEN SHOT BUT YOU DIDN’T DO THAT SO FUCK YOU

WHY CAN’T YOU BE LIKE THOSE OTHER BROWN PEOPLE?

MY HAVING TO TAKE LOCAL ROADS IS JUST LIKE WHEN YOU GOT YOUR VILLAGE BOMBED

IT’S ALSO LISTED IN MY HOMEBREW ANNOTATIONS TO THE FOURTH EDITION “IMMIGRANT’S RULEBOOK”

CATS AND DOGS SLEEPING TOGETHER

ALSO BANNED: THE SWASTIKA, THE FASCES, AND THE… THINGY THAT AL-QAEDA USES ON THEIR FLAG, WHATEVER THEY USE

THEY HAD LOTS OF GEARS AND A PLACE TO PUT A WATER BOTTLE SO YOU KNOW THEY MUST HAVE BEEN EXPENSIVE BIKES

THE CANADIAN WAY TO ACCOMPLISH THINGS IS TO WHINE REPEATEDLY UNTIL YOU GET WHAT YOU WANT – ER, BUT NOT HOW YOU’RE DOING IT

AND THEN THE OPPRESSED MASSES OF BMW DRIVERS WILL HAVE THEIR REVENGE

NOTHING SAYS “FREE SOCIETY” LIKE RANDOM SPOT CHECKS!

I GOT A SUR-GRIP ™ ON IT AND EVERYTHING

THOSE DARN PROTESTERS ALWAYS DRIVING DOWN PROPERTY VALUES

WHY AREN’T THEY PROTESTING ABOUT HOW THE NEW STAR TREK MOVIE DESTROYS THE VISION OF WHAT TREK IS SUPPOSED TO BE? I COULD GET BEHIND THAT

BROWN PEOPLE ARE LAZY!

SO, SO LAZY!1

AND BY “ENFORCEMENT” I MEAN “POLICE BRUTALITY”

SEE, IT’S FUNNY BECAUSE SOME BROWN PEOPLE ARE ALSO ARABS AND ARABS HAVE TOTALLY CRAZY NAMES LIKE KLINGONS OR SOME SHIT2

IF YOU WERE REAL MANLY MEN YOU WOULD HAVE STAYED BEHIND AND GOTTEN SHOT OR MAYBE YOU WOULD HAVE GOTTEN SHOT IN AFGHANISTAN BUT YOU DIDN’T DO ANY OF THAT SO FUCK YOU

NO I MEAN IT

THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR LETTING PEOPLE HAVE THE RIGHT TO PEACEABLY ASSEMBLE, DIPSHITS

SHE DEFINITELY SAW ONE OF THEM WAVING A SIGN AND IT HAD SHARP EDGES AND MAYBE SHE COULD HAVE GOTTEN A REALLY NASTY PAPERCUT

AND MY POINT IS THAT… UH… WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO PEACEFULLY PROTEST, I GUESS

IF YOU WERE REAL MANLY MEN YOU WOULD HAVE STAYED BEHIND AND GOTTEN SHOT BUT YOU DIDN’T DO THAT SO FUCK YOU AND ALSO FUCK THE PEOPLE WHO LET YOU INTO MY COUNTRY

NO REALLY I’M TOTALLY NOT SOME WHITE GUY SPOUTING OFF ON THE INTERNET

YOU EXPRESSING YOUR OPINIONS AND BELIEFS MAKES RACISTS MAD AND THAT IS ONYOU, BUDDY

BECAUSE WHEN I THINK “LENGTHY CONFLICT BETWEEN TWO RIVAL FACTIONS ON A SMALL ISLAND OVER THE RIGHT OF GOVERNANCE,” I CERTAINLY DON’T THINK OF THE IRISH

UH, WELL, TECHNICALLY AMERICA IS THE MELTING POT AND CANADA IS THE MOSAIC OF CULTURES, BUT I NEVER READ MY THIRD GRADE SOCIAL STUDIES TEXTBOOK SO NEVER MIND

CANADA IS POWERLESS TO INTERVENE IN INTERNATIONAL AFFAIRS… “PEACEKEEPING?” WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?

WE TOTALLY KICKED SOME HEY-HOW-ARE-YA HEY-HOW-ARE-YA ASS! GOOOOOO WHITE PEOPLE!

I, TOO, AM UPSET THAT WE ARE NOT DISCUSSING STAR TREK

RACE IS IRRELEVANT SO STOP PRETENDING TO BE WHITE SO I CAN LOUDLY NOT CARE ABOUT WHAT COLOUR YOU ARE

THERE IS TOO MUCH TOERANCE

JUST LIKE THE IRISH!

IF CITIZENS TRY TO INFLUENCE HOW CANADA CONDUCTS ITS RELATIONS, IT MIGHT GET A SOCIAL DISEASE

ALSO THE SHEEPLE REFUSE TO RECOGNIZE HOW IMPORTANT IT IS THAT WE GET BACK ON THE GOLD STANDARD

ALL THESE BROWN PEOPLE MAKE ME NERVOUS

THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN USING CHILDREN TO PROTECT ONESELF FROM BOMBING RUNS, AND BRINGING CHILDREN ALONG TO A RALLY, BECAUSE IN BOTH CASES YOU CAN EXPECT TO HAVE THE AUTHORITIES VICIOUSLY ATTACK YOU. FARTLEBERRY HAS SPOKEN!3

“THEY’RE LIKE CHILDREN! LIKE LITTLE MONKEY CHILDREN!”

I WAS ONLY INTO THIS SCENE BEFORE IT GOT POPULAR ANYWAY; NOW IT’S, LIKE, METALLICA’S “BLACK ALBUM” OR SOMETHING

TAMILS CONTROL THE MEDIA! THE JEWS SOLD THEM THE MEDIA AND NOW THE TAMILS HAVE IT!

(UM, DUDE, MAKING FUN OF YOU PEOPLE USING ALL CAPS IS MY SHTICK, QUIT PRE-EMPTING ME)

YES, WHAT WE NEED TO DO IS FOLLOW THE SANE, SOBER EUROPEAN IMMIGRATION POLICIES THAT HAVE CAUSED SO LITTLE ETHNIC STRIFE AND ABSOLUTELY NO RIOTING OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT

I JUST WANT TO SEE THEM USE THE WATER CANNONS

I JUST WANT TO SEE THEM USE THE WATER CANNONS WHILE ON HORSEBACK

YOUR OCCUPYING A HIGHWAY ON LATE SUNDAY EVENING AND ACCUMULATING A NUMBER OF MISDEMEANOUR CHARGES OUTRAGES ME BEYOND ALL EXTENT FOR REASON

AND FINALLY…

Top comment: No real Canadians were inconvenienced by these protests, because as everyone knows, REAL Canadians ride their horses everywhere, hitch them up outside their igloos, and go eat their poutine and Timbits in polite silence.

My hat (made of real Canadian beaver fur, from real Canadian beavers) is off to all those brave men and women in their cars on the Gardiner protesting the presence of the Tamil protestors.

I myself plan to immolate myself (or at least develop a very inconveniencing sunburn) in front of the Eaton Centre to protest this protest. — Slab Beefbroth

1. See, what’s ironic is that one of my former roommates is a professional chef. He’s whiter than I am, and he speaks Tamil, because he has to, because Tamils are as to Canada as Ecuadorians, Peruvians, Salvadorans and Cubans are to America – they’re the backbone of restaurant and kitchen staff in every city in the country, because they can cook anything and they don’t mind working the crazy hours. Tamils work ridiculously hard, and not just in the culinary industry where they dominate either. But of course they’re brown people so naturally somehow they must be scamming welfare. [↩]
2. Which – I mean, come on, if there are funnier names in the world than Tamil names, which even they admit are long and elaborate to the point of craziness… [↩]
3. I could have posted dozens more comments like this, and it particularly bothers me that there’s this expectation that brown people should expect to get clubbed down by police for peacefully protesting. [↩]

I was chatting with a friend of mine today as we sat around a bunch of fellow nerds, and he asked me about my summer employment – I told him I was working for the assistant dean at Osgoode (which I am), and naturally his response was to start making “crusty old Dean” quotes from the episode of The Simpsons where Homer goes to college. Naturally I jumped in (“yeah, and she played bass for the Pretenders”) because, you know, nerd.

But here is the horrifying bit: the younger nerds around us did not recognize the quoting, and when we told them it was The Simpsons they were amazed because to them, that’s not what they immediately identify with The Simpsons.

So, in conclusion? Be forewarned that if you recognize references to fifth-season Simpsons episodes, you may well in fact be an old person in addition to being a nerd. Consider this a warning. You are welcome.

Top comment: I for one appreciate this reminder that for all your impressive Canadian blogging awards and talk about law school, you are still just another nerd making fifteen-year-old Simpsons references. — Jim Smith

Okay, Glenn Beck is a crazy dumbass, we all knew that. But, notwithstanding the suggestion that G20 protestors and anti-taxation “Tea Partiers” are on the same wavelength despite not having anything in ideological common with one another at all except that they are displeased by something their governments are doing – seriously, each side’s likely solution to the problems they feel government is failing to address would likely enrage the other even further – I have to take issue with something else here.

Glenn Beck claims at about the 2:20 mark that the emblem of a fasces on the Mercury Dime is proof that the United States has been marching towards fascism since 1916 (possibly earlier, since he also blames Teddy Roosevelt, who left office in 1909). However, fascism itself was only invented, essentially, with the party platform of the Italian National Fascist Party in 1921.

So my guess is that he’s arguing that the Obama Administration are not only fascists, but that they are time-traveling fascists! And we all know that time-traveling fascists are the worst kind of fascists, because they give cavemen armbands!

Now, of course, this raises the question of whether Doctor Who has fascist sympathies.

Top comment: I bet Obama used his time travelling secret powers to assassinate JFK. Of course, Obama didn’t use a gun, but instead killed JFK with “bullets” made from pure Anti-American Liberalism. — Andrew W.

This bit of idiocy has been making the rounds:

Now, I understand that Red Eye is supposed to be a late night “funny” show of some kind, insofar as any show on Fox News can be intentionally funny, which is generally speaking not that much. And I note that the combined military experience of Greg Gutfield, Don Benson, Bill Schulz and Monica Crowley (the individuals in the above clip) is a whopping zero years, but certainly their combined experience as former editors of Maxim and Stuff, being a former assistant to Richard Nixon during the final years of Nixon’s life, and writing a stage play called “The Marijuana-logues” should qualify them to opine about… well, things in general, you know?

It is worth noting that Doug Benson has apologized on his Twitter feed, and in the proper “I was an idiot and I’m sorry” way, which earns him a bit of credit. Gutfield, on the other hand, opted for the non-apology apology by saying his comments “may have been misunderstood,” which is a passive-aggressive “I’m sorry you didn’t understand what I said” shot back. Jesus, Gutfield – if you’re going to be an asshole, fine, but don’t be a wimp about it. Own it.

Top comment: “chucklefucks”: I like this word. I’m going to try and use it more in conversation. — Lister Sage

(Via J-Mo.)

Top comment: The logical conclusion is that the avian is in estrous, Captain. — wyrmsine

Vintage vampire-hunter kits.

“Our research shows that kids who are allowed to read comics are 13% more likely to get infected with gay inducing spirits and have a STD by the time they reach college. Staggeringly, this percentage jumps up to a frightening 34% when teens are allowed to read bits and pieces of comics online.”

EDIT: Yes, I know it’s a trollsite. But come on. “God nearly destroys world with giant space rock?”

A friend forwarded me the link to this Comic Book Resources forum thread, wherein Ethan Van Sciver, best known for extremely detailed drawings in comical books and for deciding that Green Lanterns all have a little Lantern logo made out of energy floating in front of their chests, pontificates on matters political and economical.

It is always interesting to see a comics professional reveal themselves as a right-wing nabob, but my favorite bit comes when, after Van Sciver asserts that the United States is a good place to live in terms of having a high degree of social mobility and people rapidly point out that compared to most other first-world nations the USA actually is notso-hotso on the social mobility scale, that he resorts to sarcasm and moving the goalposts.

Still, I would encourage Van Sciver to blather some more about his political and economic philosophies, because he has a long way to go before he can catch up to the likes of John Byrne or (glory hallelujah!) Dave Sim. YOU CAN DO IT, LITTLE TROOPER!

…this guy’s balls (both metaphorically and artistically speaking)

“The reason the public is outraged at rich excess is because Democratic government officials, who hate and envy rich people, told them to be outraged.”

No, seriously. It’s quite possibly the single most witless thing David Brooks has ever written, and given that this is David Brooks that is saying something.

Say I had found a piece of fanfic.

Say it was erotic fanfic.

Now say that the fanfic featured two comic book characters having sex with one another, but that the author has a serious sweat fetish – not only does he focus on the individual characters sweating, but in fact has them actively fetishize the act of sweating, indeed so much so that the characters turn up the heat where they are having sex so they can sweat more, and furthermore that they choose to use sweat as a lubricant.

Yeah, I know, pretty freaky. But here is my question:

what two superhero characters do you think were in the story?

(Yes, it’s real. No, I’m not going to link to it.)

“I’m sure that in 1985 plutonium is available in every corner drugstore, but in 1955 it’s a little hard to come by!”