My weekly TV column is up at Torontoist. Also, I have a column regarding the SCC’s lengthy delay in deciding R. v. Suberu here. Guess which one has F-bombs in it!
18
May
My weekly TV column is up at Torontoist. Also, I have a column regarding the SCC’s lengthy delay in deciding R. v. Suberu here. Guess which one has F-bombs in it!
18
May
With So You Think You Can Dance kicking off its fifth season this week, I felt it was an appropriate time to engage in everybody’s favorite pastime: lists! Best-of lists are great! Because you can argue about what should have been on the list and why list item X should not have been on the list.
However, just an overall “best of” list seems like an exercise in futility, not least because comparing between genre is difficult if not outright impossible. So instead, I have elected to present these best-of lists (which have been determined through a rigorous scientific process, doubt me not) divided by genre: hip-hop, ballroom, contemporary, and everything else. Top twelve for each. Why twelve? Why not?
So, firstly, hip-hop. This was actually the easiest of the lists to manage, because outstanding hip-hop and urban dancing is still comparatively rare on So You Think You Can Dance. This is not to say that it is bad; it isn’t, and most of it is reliably entertaining. However, truly standout performances in this genre are much less frequent than in the other major divisions of dance on this show.
An email buddy of mine who is a professional dancer has this theory:
When a ballroom choreographer shows up on the show, they can charge more for classes. When a contemporary choreographer shows up on the show, they can maybe get a few more butts in seats for their next production. But when an urban choreographer shows up on the show, they’re doing it because they want to be the next Shane Sparks and get to that level where they’re choreographing movies and videos and cheerleaders and making so much money they don’t have to be on the show any more. Which is why you get less top choreographers in the genre.
I don’t think this is entirely wrong, but it’s not entirely right either (after all, the other choreographers want to be rich too). I personally think it has more to do with the fact that hip-hop dancers are more likely to be untrained, classically speaking, and tend to be eliminated earlier. There’s just less of a window for them to really impact the show in the way that contemporary dancers do. (Ballroom dancers have the same problem but on a lesser scale.)
All right. Introduction over. To the list! (And I recommend watching the videos in high quality, if your computer can handle it. Rapid hip-hop movements do not translate well to low-quality Youtube viewing.)
continue reading "The Best Of So You Think You Can Dance, Part One: Hip-Hop"
17
May
You may not have been aware that there was an election in India yesterday, but there was. And here’s the good news: there is good news! Mostly because the BJP, which stands for something in Hindi that I believe translates to “fuck all Muslims everywhere,” got soundly hammered by the Congress party coalition, representing basically the sober centrist middle of Indian politics (and which is home to the latest iteration of the Gandhi political dynasty, Rahul Gandhi).
So now you may discuss this with your friends over coffee and seem knowledgeable. You are welcome!
16
May
What with both the premiere of the fifth American season, and the fact that the Toronto auditions are this week, which gave me the opportunity to interview Jean-Marc Généreux.
15
May
Some have suggested that this dog is a real-life approximation of Rex the Wonder Dog.
However, even if we ignore the fact that this is clearly a training scenario and not an actual hostile takedown (not that this dog knew that, of course), you will note that the crucial difference is that Rex the Wonder Dog would have caught the bullets in his mouth and spat them back at either his attacker or possibly a secondary evildoer.
Top comment: And Rex would’ve gone THROUGH the car window. — Chenry
14
May
…no.
Just… no.
NOOOOOOO.
Top comment: Even then, if they’re just going for a Jetson-ish “modern” 50s family, they could be disgustingly liberal and accepting. “Oh dear, Brat and Dog have killed another cat. He’s probably just in that rebelling stage. Now go take out the recycling, honey, while I finish paying my taxes and we’ll all hug it out until dinner. Then, we destroy the world.” — Zifnab
13
May
“Lord Vetinari is subtly training Sam Vimes to be the next Patrician.”
versus
“Lord Vetinari is subtly training Moist von Lipwig to be the next Patrician.”
Discuss.
Also: Hobbes. Magic tiger or imaginary friend?
Top comment: Wait… Hobbes wrote Leviathan?? Then he IS real!! — Al
12
May
A giant vampire bat might pose problems to certain heroic individuals. After all, giant vampire bats are, let us be honest, usually giant vampires. In bat form. And if you don’t have a crucifix handy, what do you do?
Maybe you go old school on that vampire, if your name is Rex the motherfucking Wonder Dog.
Top comment: Fact: Rex the Wonder Dog is considered a religious symbol for 9 out of 10 religions. (The last one is Scientology, because L Ron Hubbard knew incorporating Rex into Scientology would infuriate Rex.) — Thok
11
May
My weekly TV column is up at Torontoist. But ALSO, I have a point/counterpoint column about the Tamil protests here. And on top of that, my first summer column for thecourt.ca is here, although it’s really just a longer, more serious-sounding rehash of the diversity arguments from last week.
11
May
So yesterday there was a very big protest here in Toronto, as Tamil protestors trying to get Canada to intervene in the Sri Lankan Civil War closed down the Gardiner Expressway for about five hours. The protests were certainly illegal in that they obstructed traffic without a permit, but were almost wholly nonviolent. (The police later announced that they arrested three people out of over three thousand.)
The following comments are taken from the CP24, Globe and Mail and National Post coverage.
IF YOU WERE REAL MANLY MEN YOU WOULD HAVE STAYED BEHIND AND GOTTEN SHOT BUT YOU DIDN’T DO THAT SO FUCK YOU
WHY CAN’T YOU BE LIKE THOSE OTHER BROWN PEOPLE?
MY HAVING TO TAKE LOCAL ROADS IS JUST LIKE WHEN YOU GOT YOUR VILLAGE BOMBED
IT’S ALSO LISTED IN MY HOMEBREW ANNOTATIONS TO THE FOURTH EDITION “IMMIGRANT’S RULEBOOK”
CATS AND DOGS SLEEPING TOGETHER
ALSO BANNED: THE SWASTIKA, THE FASCES, AND THE… THINGY THAT AL-QAEDA USES ON THEIR FLAG, WHATEVER THEY USE
THEY HAD LOTS OF GEARS AND A PLACE TO PUT A WATER BOTTLE SO YOU KNOW THEY MUST HAVE BEEN EXPENSIVE BIKES
THE CANADIAN WAY TO ACCOMPLISH THINGS IS TO WHINE REPEATEDLY UNTIL YOU GET WHAT YOU WANT – ER, BUT NOT HOW YOU’RE DOING IT
AND THEN THE OPPRESSED MASSES OF BMW DRIVERS WILL HAVE THEIR REVENGE
NOTHING SAYS “FREE SOCIETY” LIKE RANDOM SPOT CHECKS!
I GOT A SUR-GRIP ™ ON IT AND EVERYTHING
THOSE DARN PROTESTERS ALWAYS DRIVING DOWN PROPERTY VALUES
WHY AREN’T THEY PROTESTING ABOUT HOW THE NEW STAR TREK MOVIE DESTROYS THE VISION OF WHAT TREK IS SUPPOSED TO BE? I COULD GET BEHIND THAT
BROWN PEOPLE ARE LAZY!
SO, SO LAZY!1
AND BY “ENFORCEMENT” I MEAN “POLICE BRUTALITY”
SEE, IT’S FUNNY BECAUSE SOME BROWN PEOPLE ARE ALSO ARABS AND ARABS HAVE TOTALLY CRAZY NAMES LIKE KLINGONS OR SOME SHIT2
IF YOU WERE REAL MANLY MEN YOU WOULD HAVE STAYED BEHIND AND GOTTEN SHOT OR MAYBE YOU WOULD HAVE GOTTEN SHOT IN AFGHANISTAN BUT YOU DIDN’T DO ANY OF THAT SO FUCK YOU
NO I MEAN IT
THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR LETTING PEOPLE HAVE THE RIGHT TO PEACEABLY ASSEMBLE, DIPSHITS
SHE DEFINITELY SAW ONE OF THEM WAVING A SIGN AND IT HAD SHARP EDGES AND MAYBE SHE COULD HAVE GOTTEN A REALLY NASTY PAPERCUT
AND MY POINT IS THAT… UH… WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO PEACEFULLY PROTEST, I GUESS
IF YOU WERE REAL MANLY MEN YOU WOULD HAVE STAYED BEHIND AND GOTTEN SHOT BUT YOU DIDN’T DO THAT SO FUCK YOU AND ALSO FUCK THE PEOPLE WHO LET YOU INTO MY COUNTRY
NO REALLY I’M TOTALLY NOT SOME WHITE GUY SPOUTING OFF ON THE INTERNET
YOU EXPRESSING YOUR OPINIONS AND BELIEFS MAKES RACISTS MAD AND THAT IS ONYOU, BUDDY
BECAUSE WHEN I THINK “LENGTHY CONFLICT BETWEEN TWO RIVAL FACTIONS ON A SMALL ISLAND OVER THE RIGHT OF GOVERNANCE,” I CERTAINLY DON’T THINK OF THE IRISH
UH, WELL, TECHNICALLY AMERICA IS THE MELTING POT AND CANADA IS THE MOSAIC OF CULTURES, BUT I NEVER READ MY THIRD GRADE SOCIAL STUDIES TEXTBOOK SO NEVER MIND
CANADA IS POWERLESS TO INTERVENE IN INTERNATIONAL AFFAIRS… “PEACEKEEPING?” WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?
WE TOTALLY KICKED SOME HEY-HOW-ARE-YA HEY-HOW-ARE-YA ASS! GOOOOOO WHITE PEOPLE!
I, TOO, AM UPSET THAT WE ARE NOT DISCUSSING STAR TREK
RACE IS IRRELEVANT SO STOP PRETENDING TO BE WHITE SO I CAN LOUDLY NOT CARE ABOUT WHAT COLOUR YOU ARE
THERE IS TOO MUCH TOERANCE
JUST LIKE THE IRISH!
IF CITIZENS TRY TO INFLUENCE HOW CANADA CONDUCTS ITS RELATIONS, IT MIGHT GET A SOCIAL DISEASE
ALSO THE SHEEPLE REFUSE TO RECOGNIZE HOW IMPORTANT IT IS THAT WE GET BACK ON THE GOLD STANDARD
ALL THESE BROWN PEOPLE MAKE ME NERVOUS
THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN USING CHILDREN TO PROTECT ONESELF FROM BOMBING RUNS, AND BRINGING CHILDREN ALONG TO A RALLY, BECAUSE IN BOTH CASES YOU CAN EXPECT TO HAVE THE AUTHORITIES VICIOUSLY ATTACK YOU. FARTLEBERRY HAS SPOKEN!3
“THEY’RE LIKE CHILDREN! LIKE LITTLE MONKEY CHILDREN!”
I WAS ONLY INTO THIS SCENE BEFORE IT GOT POPULAR ANYWAY; NOW IT’S, LIKE, METALLICA’S “BLACK ALBUM” OR SOMETHING
TAMILS CONTROL THE MEDIA! THE JEWS SOLD THEM THE MEDIA AND NOW THE TAMILS HAVE IT!
(UM, DUDE, MAKING FUN OF YOU PEOPLE USING ALL CAPS IS MY SHTICK, QUIT PRE-EMPTING ME)
YES, WHAT WE NEED TO DO IS FOLLOW THE SANE, SOBER EUROPEAN IMMIGRATION POLICIES THAT HAVE CAUSED SO LITTLE ETHNIC STRIFE AND ABSOLUTELY NO RIOTING OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT
I JUST WANT TO SEE THEM USE THE WATER CANNONS
I JUST WANT TO SEE THEM USE THE WATER CANNONS WHILE ON HORSEBACK
YOUR OCCUPYING A HIGHWAY ON LATE SUNDAY EVENING AND ACCUMULATING A NUMBER OF MISDEMEANOUR CHARGES OUTRAGES ME BEYOND ALL EXTENT FOR REASON
AND FINALLY…
Top comment: No real Canadians were inconvenienced by these protests, because as everyone knows, REAL Canadians ride their horses everywhere, hitch them up outside their igloos, and go eat their poutine and Timbits in polite silence.
My hat (made of real Canadian beaver fur, from real Canadian beavers) is off to all those brave men and women in their cars on the Gardiner protesting the presence of the Tamil protestors.
I myself plan to immolate myself (or at least develop a very inconveniencing sunburn) in front of the Eaton Centre to protest this protest. — Slab Beefbroth
10
May
This is always on my “list of things I should do more often,” but I never do it as often as I might like.
Anyhow. What would y’all like me to discuss/write about in future posts? No guarantees, as per usual.
9
May
ITEM! Kathryn Immonen comfirmed that she is indeed writing Runaways in the near future. (This might have been confirmed on Newsarama or something but I don’t read it regularly so whatever.) She was amused when I shouted “FUCK YEAH.” (Which is just proof that unlike most people, I am pretty much who I am on the internet in real life. Which involves a lot of nut-punching, unfortunately.)
ITEM! Finally got to meet Kate Beaton. I say “finally” because my little sister Lindsay is a good friend of Kate’s and shows up in a few of her comics even. Kate signed my copy of Never Learn Anything From History with a sketch of Lindsay which was captioned “all Birds are good in my books.” Which makes her the BEST CARTOONIST EVER and she should totally win the Doug Wright Award.
ITEM! Speaking of the Doug Wright Award, Seth had a signing lineup a mile long because he was drawing original sketches of Snoopy or Charlie Brown if you brought him one of his books. Since Seth’s books are all great this was not exactly a disincentive.
ITEM! Also finally got around to picking up a copy of Super Spy by Matt Kindt. Matt was busy sketching a picture of Black Widow doing a tango move with fingers in front of the eyes like Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction in front of about a billion AIM agents, because TCAF, despite its supposedly artsy reputation, is CHOCKABLOCK FULL OF NERDS. Then I spied an old Action Comics with Vartox on the cover, and Matt explained that someone had asked for a sketch of Vartox wrestling Emma Peel and provided it as a reference. “And you know, I’m glad! Because you can only draw the Punisher so many times.”
ITEM! At one of the panels the various panel members were playing “what indie band is each cartoonist.” IE, “Peter Bagge is R.E.M.” I mention this because Scott McCloud’s daughter said that Ryan North of Dinosaur Comics would be the Ramones, because “only the words change.” I think this qualifies as the biggest OH SNAP of the entire festival.
ITEM! This is still far and away the best comics show on the planet. SUCK IT, SAN DIEGO! SUCK IT LONG AND SUCK IT HARD!
Top comment: So you went to a con and enjoyed it. Soon we will have you cosplaying as She-Hulk. — Skemono
8
May
I grew up at a rare time – when Star Trek: The Next Generation was airing new episodes. And it was a very, very cool show, not adored just by Trekkies/Trekkers/Trekkoes but by the general populace as well; more than anything, it was responsible for the eventual crossover success of sci-fi from the ghetto. This meant that everybody at school watched Star Trek: The Next Generation, which is something that didn’t really happen with any of the other Trek shows. I remember that 60,000 people crowded the Skydome (sorry, “Rogers Centre”) here in Toronto to watch the finale. As revered as a Battlestar Galactica or a Lost might be, they’re just not going to match that.
All of this is prelude to me saying that because I grew up at that time, Star Trek holds a special place in my heart (although not one of blind loyalty, because everything since DS9 has been frankly crap). Which is why it pleases me so much to say this:
The new Star Trek movie is only matched by The Wrath of Khan for the title of “best Star Trek movie ever made.”
Spoilers after the cut.
7
May
You kind of have to feel sorry for poor old Carcharo. Todd McFarlane and Roy Thomas wanted to tell a story about a villainous shark-man. But the problem with villainous shark-men is that there are already some people who have firmly claimed that niche as their own – Tiger Shark, Killer Shark, King Shark, the Shark (he’s the one with no adjective), and of course Jabber Jaw. The essential point being made here is that there are no end of shark-themed supervillains. If you’re going to create a new one, you need to bring something new to the table.
What Carcharo brings to the table is giant shoulder pads. Cable-quality metallic shoulder pads, a full four years before Cable was created. (Or maybe afterwards. Cable is a time-traveller, you see.) That is what distinguishes him from all the other shark villains. Other shark villains think “I will be like a shark – sleek, hydrodynamic and deadly.” Carcharo, on the other hand, decided that he was so sharky he needed a handicap, so clearly he needed giant shoulder pads to slow him down!
Beyond the shoulder pads, there’s really very little that makes Carcharo unique. I mean, blah blah genetic experimentation as baby yada yada yada I think there are like six shark villains all with that same origin. You’d think at some point there’d be a shark villain who just decided after watching Shark Week one week that this was his ticket to supervillainy, but no – it’s always genetic experimentation as a baby.
Also, Carcharo died of a combination of cyanide poisoning and being stabbed with shrapnel. How do you even manage that? Cyanide is not supposed to be a slow death! You get enough of it in you and BAM, that’s it, there’s shouldn’t be enough time to say “hey, don’t stab me with that met-“.
In fairness to Carcharo, he apparently did manage to score himself a pair of lady companions, (who presumably were banned from most aquariums) and that’s more than most shark villains do. What with them being sharks and all.
Top comment: OK, just a quick question. His mother is alleged, but the unknown father gets a pass on that? How, exactly, does that work? — Ambrael
6
May
Did you follow the whole Michelle Malkin/Antonia Zerbisias drama over the last week? No? Then I have you covered over at Torontoist.
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