31
Aug
31
Aug
FLAPJACKS: Man, I never knew there was so much shit I didn’t want.
ME: Really.
FLAPJACKS: I assume I wanted most shit. But I don’t want any of this shit. I came here to spend hard-earned money and look at this crap. Who the fuck wants GI Joe Minimates?
ME: People who like GI Joe, but wish it were blockier.
FLAPJACKS: Who the hell are those people?
ME: Cubists?
FLAPJACKS: These are collectibles of collectibles. Look at these things. The giant super-deformed doll things with the enormous round heads.
ME: The Mighty Muggs.
FLAPJACKS: Whatever. You can get the entire cast of Star Wars, Indiana Jones and the whole Marvel universe too. In super-deformed doll form. Who came up with this? Was someone sitting around saying “boy we sure could see more Red Skull toys if only he was shaped kind of like a fatter version of a Troll doll but with no hair?”
ME: Probably, yes. There’s a market for it.
FLAPJACKS: But who?
—
ME: What is that cosplayer’s costume?
FLAPJACKS: Which one?
ME: The girl in the three-piece suit with the fangs, the weird lock of hair shaped like an upright candy cane, and the ginormous rifle.
FLAPJACKS: She is dressed up as Twistlock, the lead character in Vampire Formalwear Gunfighter.
ME: You know, for a second there, I actually thought you were serious.
FLAPJACKS: Yeah, I’m kidding.
ME: Well, of course.
FLAPJACKS: It’s actually called Vampire Pantyhose Formalwear Gunfighter.
—
FLAPJACKS: Oh, dude. Is that guy dressed up as Bloodshot?
ME: You mean Valiant comics Bloodshot? Yeah, looks like.
GUY DRESSED UP AS BLOODSHOT: BLOOOOODSHOOOOT! YEEEEEAAAAAH!
ME: So I take it you like Bloodshot.
GUY DRESSED UP AS BLOODSHOT: Valiant comics were the best comics! They were better than DC! Kicked Marvel’s ass! Vertigo was nothing compared to Valiant!
FLAPJACKS: Fuck YOU, Drawn and Quarterly! Did you come up with Dr. Mirage’s second life? I think not!
ME: How about when Valiant got sold to Acclaim?
GUY DRESSED UP AS BLOODSHOT: Fuck Acclaim! They ruined everything! You know what I’m talking about!
(GUY DRESSED UP AS BLOODSHOT exits.)
ME: Well, at least he paused in his hyperbole to recognize how Valiant got fucked over. That’s a real fan.
FLAPJACKS: The sort of real fan who is willing to paint himself all over in white bodypaint except for a big red dot on his chest, and then explain to everybody that he is cosplaying a briefly popular superhero from fifteen years ago.
ME: The sort of real fan who can say with a straight face “yeah, okay, Sandman revolutionized comics storytelling, but did it have a guy with two guns in it shooting mobsters? I think not.”
FLAPJACKS: The sort of real fan who is willing to spend all day explaining that he is not, in fact, dressed up as an alternate-universe Captain Atom.
—
FLAPJACKS: Do you wanna go to the DC panel?
ME: No, I wanna play boardgames.
FLAPJACKS: But you’re a comics guy.
ME: I like comics. I don’t know that I qualify as a “comics guy.”
FLAPJACKS: Whatever, Mr. I’m Too Good For The DC Comics Panel.
ME: I don’t want to go to the panel. I have better things to do than listen to Dan Didio bullshit for an hour.
FLAPJACKS: The Marvel panel?
ME: …or listen to Joe Quesada bullshit for an hour either. There are two types of people who go to panels like that: the bored and the fanatic. I’m not bored, and I’m not a blind follower.
FLAPJACKS: So you’re saying nerds are blind followers?
ME: What’s the most common costume you’ve seen at this convention?
FLAPJACKS: Imperial Stormtrooper, why?
ME: Exactly. The Imperial Stormtrooper. The rank-and-file bad guy in the Star Wars movies. There’s one guy I’ve seen dressed up as Vader, a couple Jedi, and there’s like a hundred Stormtroopers.
FLAPJACKS: That’s not really a fair comparison. I mean, there are that many Stormtroopers here because there’s a Stormtrooper play-group who are guests.
ME: That doesn’t make it better. Given a chance to assume a role in their favorite movie, all of these people chose, of their own free will and volition, to be the boot stomping on a human face forever.
FLAPJACKS: And possibly missing, because they are Stormtroopers.
ME: That’s disturbing. That’s actually more disturbing than Civil War re-enactors who portray Confederates. At least they’re trying to honor their ancestors or something. The Stormtroopers are honoring what exactly? George Lucas’ taste in flannel shirts?
—
FLAPJACKS: Oh, man, will you look at that knife?
ME: Wow. It has multiple blades sticking out of the hilt.
FLAPJACKS: Exactly. Someone considered the knife and said, “nice, but I think we can make it even more knifey.”
ME: And then they cut themselves when they tried to hold it.
—
FLAPJACKS: The Soup Nazi is here!
ME: That just rubs me the wrong way. That guy has made a career out of being the Soup Nazi. He shows up at conventions because he was the Soup Nazi. He does other commercials as the Soup Nazi. He makes appearances on TV shows as “the guy who was the Soup Nazi.” He was in one frigging episode of Seinfeld. He didn’t come up with the catchphrase or the idea. And people want his autograph. That makes no fucking sense at all. At least the other people here signing things have actually done more than, say, five minutes of screentime to make themselves famous.
FLAPJACKS: Hey, he gives away autographed ladles!
ME: Arrgrgrgggggggh.
—
FLAPJACKS: So you only came to this convention to play board games?
ME: Pretty much. I’ll do some shopping, but I came to play games.
FLAPJACKS: That’s really stupid.
ME: Why? I like board games. And there’s a prize if I win the tournament.
FLAPJACKS: Are you going to win the tournament?
ME: Probably not.
FLAPJACKS: How much is the prize?
ME: Fifty dollars in store credit at the sponsor’s store.
FLAPJACKS: How much did you pay to get in here?
ME: Fifty dollars.
FLAPJACKS: So even if you won, you would be breaking even.
ME: But I get to have fun playing board games.
FLAPJACKS: Don’t you own most of these board games?
ME: …not all of them.
FLAPJACKS: So you could have stayed home and played board games with friends, for nothing, but instead you paid to come here. That’s quality thinking. I think you need to go apologize to the Stormtroopers.
30
Aug
(Scene: A DC Comics marketing department meeting room. Present are The Boss and Interchangeable Marketing and PR Executives #1-31 Larry, Gary, and J.D., three Marketing Executives who are wholly fleshed-out, multi-dimensional characters.)
The Boss: OK boys, our assignment this week oughta be a cakewalk. It seems the boys upstairs are working on a big storyline for Superman, and we’ve got to come up with a name for it.
Larry: Great!
Gary: Fantastic!
J.D.: What’s the story about?
Boss: I don’t know. Superman, I guess. Why?
J.D.: Well, if we’ve got to come up with a title for the story–
Boss: Who told you we had to do that?
J.D.: You did.
Boss: I did? When?
J.D: Just now.
Boss: Don’t think so…
J.D.: You said we had to come up with a name for the big Superman storyline.
Boss: No! No, no, no, no. But I see where the confusion’s coming from. No, we don’t need a title. What we need is a term. For the, you know, the kind of story it is.
J.D.: A comic story?
Boss: This is bigger than a comic story. What the writers are doing, see, is working really closely with their editors, and telling a big, a huge story that’s spread out over all the Superman titles.
Larry: Great!
Gary: Fantastic!
J.D.: Um. Isn’t that what they usually do?
Boss: Yes! But it’s never had a name before.
J.D.: Are you sure?
Boss: What do you mean?
J.D.: I mean, they’ve been doing basically the same thing for, like, 30 years, right?
Boss: No, you don’t understand. They’re using the books to tell a huge story. And they’re numbering them!
J.D.: Don’t we always number them?
Boss: No, I mean, Action Comics #900 is, like, #1, Supergirl #37 is #2, uh, the other Superman title…
Larry: Superman?
Boss: No. Well, yeah, that too, but I’m thinking of the one that’s actually got Superman in it.
J.D.: World of New Krypton.
Boss: Yeah, that one. So #5 of that would be #3. And so on.
Larry: Awesome idea, boss.
Gary: Really cool.
J.D.: That won’t be a little confusing for new readers?
The Boss: New readers? You’re joking, right?
J.D.: No, I just thought, I mean–people might be confused by two numbering systems–
Gary: Nobody was confused by The Death of Superman.
J.D.: I kinda was. Why didn’t he just grab one of Doomsday’s tube things and fly off into space with him?
(Awkward silence.)
Boss: Anyway. The Death of Superman had a bunch of comics with two numbers on them, and it sold great, so we’re doing it again, but with a fresh, 21st century twist.
J.D.: What’s the twist?
Boss: This time we’re calling it something other than a comic story.
Gary: It’s an event!
Boss: Right, like that.
Larry: A Superman Storytelling Event! A superstory!
Gary: A superstory! I love it!
Boss: It’s a bit on the nose…
Gary: It is a bit on the nose. I don’t love it. It’s OK. It sucks. I hate it. Larry should die horribly in a cockfighting accident.
Boss: …But it’s a start. Come on, give me more. What kind of story is this?
Larry: It’s a Superstory.
J.D.: You said that already.
Larry: I didn’t capitalize it that time. Oo, oo, I’ve got it, I’ve got it: SuperStory.
Boss: Both S’s capitalized?
Larry: (nods)
Gary: Fantastic!
Boss: Two capital letters does make it seem more important, but I’m not sure SuperStory’s what we want.
Larry: It’s an ultrastory! A Wildstory!
Boss: Someone write that down. You never know when we’re going to want to do a big marketing push for Wildstorm.
All: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Boss: Mph. Hm. Hmhehmhehheeheeheehehhh… OK. Seriously. A big Superman going story over multiple titles and it’s called…?
Larry: A hyperstory!
J.D.: Grant Morrison already used that.
Larry: A metastory!
J.D.: I think Morrison used that one, too.
Gary: A multistory!
Boss: Sounds like a building.
Larry: A superbuilding!
J.D.: You’ve started doing coke again, haven’t you?
Gary: Story’s a little… mundane for a, uh, a Superman, uh…
J.D.: Story?
Gary: What’s another word for story?
Len: Prose?
Larry: Superprose!
Boss: Now we’re cooking with gasoline! Superprose! Perfect! I love it.
Len: But it’s a comic story, isn’t it?
Boss: Yeah, and…?
Len: Well, it’s just–prose is words, right? And comics have pictures, too.
Boss: Who the fuck are you?
Len: Uh, hi. I’m Len. The new intern?
Boss: The ex-intern, you mean. Get the fuck outta here!
(Len leaves.)
Gary (consulting online dictionary): Fuck!
Larry: What?
Gary: Whatsisname–the intern kid–
Boss: The ex-intern kid–
J.D.: Len.
Gary: –was right. Prose is words only.
Boss: Shit.
Gary: We could call it comic prose…
Larry: Comic SuperProse!
Boss: Give the “super” thing a rest, Lar. Comic prose is good…
J.D.: Is it, though?
Gary: Is it what?
J.D.: Comic prose.
Gary: As opposed to what?
J.D.: Comics. Comics includes pictures and prose already…
Larry: So what do you want to call it?
J.D.: I kinda want to call it comics.
Boss: Do you kinda like having a fucking job?
J.D.: Comic… literature?
Boss: No. No, no, no. How many times do I have to say this isn’t comics? Comics are for kids.
Larry: That why everyone calls them graphic novels now.
Gary: Can we call it a graphic novel?
Boss: No.
J.D.: Everyone else will. Except the ones that call it comics.
Boss: We didn’t come up with it.
Gary: Can we buy it off the person who did?
Boss: Find someone who makes substantially less than I do and have them look into that. I like graphic. What’s another word for novels?
Larry: Stories.
Gary: Prose.
Boss: Yeah, we’ve done those. What else?
J.D.: Literature?
Gary: Jesus, what is it with you and literature?
Boss: Graphic literature. That’s fantastic.
Gary: Graphic literature, fantastic! Fan-tas-TIC.
Boss: People ask me why I keep an aggravating son of a bitch like you around, J.D., and times like this are the answer! Graphic literature…
J.D.: People think I’m aggravating…?
Larry: Oh, man, do they ever.
Gary: They fucking hate you, man. I heard someone called you a dirty stinking nazi…
J.D.: They did?!?!
Gary: The American kind. Not a real one.
J.D.: Ah. That’s all right then.
Boss: So we’re all agreed, the new Superman story is graphic literature.
J.D.: Yeah, we can’t call it that.
Boss: Who says? Who the fuck says we can’t call it graphic literature?
J.D.: That’s what Marvel calls their comics when they want to call them something other than what they are.
Boss: FUCK! Fucking Marvel… OK. What were the other options?
Larry: SuperStory!
Gary: Prose?
J.D.: That’s just words–
Larry: See that, that right there? That’s why people think you’re an aggravating son of a bitch.
Gary: Graphic prose, then.
Boss: Sounds like porn.
Gary: Maybe it could be a porno story.
J.D.: With Superman?
Gary: Probably sell better.
Boss: I’ll run it by the boys upstairs, but Frank Miller isn’t involved so don’t get your hopes up. Come on, come on! It’s big, it’s a story, it’s got words and pictures but we don’t want to call it comics–
J.D.: Even though it is.
Boss: –or graphic–
Gary: Even though it’d sell better if it was.
Boss: –or a novel or literature. So. What ARE we gonna call it?
***
“James and Greg and Sterling are working so intensely closely on the Superman material that it’s one of the reasons we felt comfortable putting the numbers shields on the books. These guys are working together and creating what we call mega-fiction…” – DC Executive Editor Dan DiDio
***
J.D.: All I’m saying is, “mega-fiction” doesn’t really get across the idea of a visual story…
Boss: Eh. You can’t have everything.
Larry: Does anyone know where I could score some coke?
-Foley
30
Aug
1.) The Liberal Democratic Party in Japan has been ousted in the most recent election. The LDP has been in power almost continuously since 1955 – and really, longer than that, since the Liberal Democratic party formed out of the Liberal and Democratic parties making their unofficial collusion/cooperation in running the country official, so basically it’s been one party in charge of Japan since World War II with a couple of hiccups. It’s going to be interesting to see what happens, because Japan honestly has about zero experience with electoral change of this sort; the bureaucracy in Japan has become almost totally divorced from the consequences of elections because, well, there have never really been any consequences of elections. I honestly have no idea if the DJP’s victory will bring change to the Japanese bureaucratic system or if it’s just your classic walking-against-the-tide scenario.
2.) In the wake of the Pirate Party having success in Sweden, apparently some Canadians have decided we need one too. Apparently nobody in the Pirate Party has bothered to examine the Marijuana Party’s success as a one-issue fringe party, or understands how first-past-the-post parliamentary systems differ from proportional-representation parliamentary systems. But I bet they will have bitching LAN parties!
29
Aug
A long time ago, P.J. O’Rourke wrote in Parliament of Whores (probably the best book he ever wrote, and it’s been mostly downhill, albeit gradually, for him ever since) that “you can’t get rid of poverty by giving people money.” And this has, for many policymakers, been an accepted truth for a very long time.
And it looks like it might be wrong.
Parents are now able to pay tuition, and the proportion of children attending school rose to 92 percent last year. The school has used the additional revenue to buy paper, pens and ink for its printers. The rate of malnourishment among the children has plunged from 42 to 10 percent. The local police crime statistics show a decline in theft and poaching. People with AIDS are responding more effectively to treatment, now that their nutritional needs are being met more consistently. “Suddenly the children were wearing shoes,” says the teacher. A man went to see Dirk and Claudia Haarmann. Beaming from ear to ear, he asked: “Don’t you see?” They asked him what he meant. “Don’t you see? I now have trousers and a t-shirt. I am now a person.”
28
Aug
I don’t know if anyone but me reads comic strips anymore, but here are my thoughts on a few I follow:
Pooch Café: Bill Watterson once called Pogo “the last of the enjoy the ride strips,” by which he meant that while it often had continuing storylines, the point wasn’t to get to the end but to see how many enjoyable tangents you could take along the way. (Mid-series episodes of The Simpsons are a good example of this as well.) Pooch Café has a lot of this quality to it, with stories often making vertiginous twists and ending up in much odder and funnier places than you might have imagined from the beginning. I can’t say for sure, but I’d like to think that Paul Gilligan, the writer/artist, just lets the stories run in whatever direction they like the way Walt Kelly did.
Zits: The subject matter may not be particularly unusual (though it’s done in a more original way than any other “teen” strip) but Zits is one of the few strips today that is actually doing interesting things with art. Bill Watterson (again) famously dismissed a lot of comic strips as being (I’m paraphrasing) “Xeroxed characters standing talking to one another,” and for the most part that’s true today — almost literally true, since many strips make use of scanned images of their characters that are used over and over in slightly different poses (Shoe has been done this way since Jeff MacNelly’s death, something I hope has him turning in his grave.) Zits, on the other hand, often makes the art a key part of the action, in strips like this one. Not the greatest gag in the world, to be sure, but compare it to a typical strip in the same paper. Here’s a test: cover the bottom third of each of these two strips. Which one is still (vaguely) funny? Tip to cartoonists: comic strips are not supposed to be funny without the art.
Mutts: Okay, after praising two strips I’m going to get mean. But how can you be mean to Mutts? It’s so charming, so cute, so lovable. And I do love Mutts. I think that Patrick McDonnell is one of the best artists working in any medium today. So what’s the problem? He’s coasting. I may say that in part because I usually read it online, so I don’t get to see the creative things he does with the Sunday strips, but even still the strips have a disquieting sameness. If you are a Mutts fan, as I am, try to think of a particularly good one from the last few years. Of course, they’re all good; they’re all fine… but none are really better than the others, or different from the others in any way. It’s as though McDonnell had an endless bag full of strips, from which he drew one at random every day. So while McDonnell is probably a better artist than Jim Borgman, who draws Zits, and each individual Mutts strip is usually better than each Zits, I find myself more interested in reading Zits.
Doonesbury: Speaking of coasting… Like a few other things I read Doonesbury out of habit, and I wonder if Garry Trudeau might be drawing it out of habit as well. The characters marry, procreate, get old… it’s like Gasoline Alley for liberals, or an inside-the-beltway version of For Better or For Worse. I also wonder if Trudeau, like Tom Lehrer, might just not find the news funny anymore: politics seems to be receding further and further into the background for the last while. Obama, for instance, has barely been a blip — the only appearance I can remember was in a series of fourth-wall-breaking strips about him learning how to be in Doonesbury.
Fisher: I’m getting really obscure here, as I think this strip is only published in the Globe and Mail, but what the heck. What I find interesting about this strip is not necessarily the content (though it is usually fairly funny) but that it takes the same approach to young-ish urban married life that Dilbert took to offices. A lot of comic-strip mavens have expressed bafflement at the success of Dilbert, pointing out its crude art and fairly uncreative gag-a-day structure. What these critics miss, in my view, is that the appeal of Dilbert is not primarily its humour or its art but its relevance: rather than being set in the sitcom never-never land of Blondie or Hi and Lois or any number of other worthless comics, it’s set in something with a recognizable connection to real life. Scott Adams has said that most of the crazy stuff he showed going on in offices (tethering laptops, for instance) was based on things that had happened to himself or his readers, and Fisher has very much the same feeling. Like Dilbert, it may not be the funniest strip out there, but it may be the most clippable.
28
Aug
More people emailed about health care, mostly because of Ted Kennedy dying, and what I think is that Ted Kennedy’s death will matter not one whit in the final accounting as to whether or not health care reform passes in the United States. The Republicans trying to kill reform may have liked Kennedy personally, but they weren’t willing to compromise with him when he was alive; dead Ted Kennedy will have about as much power over them as the Dead Kennedys do. (I am told Chuck Grassley is a secret fan of Jello Biafra, but personally do not believe it.)
No, what matters in the final accounting is how Democrats support health care reform. By this point, the antics of conservative Democrats have grown remarkable, and it’s only really the traditions of American politics that keep Ben Nelson in his party. Which of course begs the question:
Why don’t they just kick him out?
Or, at the very least, threaten to. Let’s be clear: in any Parliamentary-style system anywhere else in the world, an MP behaving as contra-party as Nelson has – with Kent Conrad and Mary Landrieu not far behind – would be turfed, and turfed quickly. Granted, American political parties aren’t quite as heirarchical or organized and a degree of freedom is expected – but all that is required of conservative Democrats, for the most part, is that they not filibuster health care reform. They can vote against it all they like (well, to the tune of nine votes).
That Nelson in particular is flirting with it should trigger those threats. Yes, if Ben Nelson gets kicked out of the Democratic party that is one less vote for any Democratic majority, to be sure. But when the majority is in the high fifties without him, Ben Nelson’s sole value to the Democratic agenda he opposes is that he not filibuster; his vote is effectively worthless.
The threat is not without value: in Nelson’s case, he loses his seniority on all his committees; Nelson is just coming into his own and in a term or two, as a Democrat, will likely chair a major committee. As a newly-minted Republican, that will likely not happen any time soon. This of course also assumes Nelson will survive re-election in 2012 as a Republican, and despite his personal popularity in his state that is not a given; the uncertainty of a potential primary and the loss of Democratic funding support can’t make things less shaky.
But what I like most about it is that it’s a move of strength. The Democratic push on health care reform has been cautious. Timid, even. If the Democratic leadership wants it – and they should – they need to show some balls, make it seem like they want it rather than just feel obligated. They need to tell their slackers where the door is, and how far they can go before it hits their ass on the way out. And “how far” should not be far at all.
28
Aug
27
Aug
Justin Newberry, in comments here, says something that people have been emailing me about for days now:
I may have missed something, so pardon me if I’m coming from the wrong place here, but:
You do know that Marlon Wayans played Ripcord and not his brother Damon, right?
Why do you think that all black people look alike?
Yes, I do in fact know that Marlon Wayans and Damon Wayans are different people. Shipwreck was getting it wrong for comedic value. That was on purpose.
Yeesh.
27
Aug
The Predator, being as it is a reflection of Carol Ferris’ “inner masculine drive,” is sort of the first transsexual supervillain, albeit only in a weird Bronze Age sort of way where issues of gender had to be addressed with space magic. (Marvel would later refine the concept with Vamp, the pretty girl who turns into a male monster thing, and make the whole gender-changing thing a lot more explicit.)
What’s weird about the Predator is that, when Carol Ferris split off into herself and the Predator, the Predator immediately started trying to get with her. Is that supposed to be a reflection of her masturbatory urges or something? I hate it when supervillains make you want to check psychology textbooks to see if they make any sense. (Invariably they don’t.)
And of course, this being a Green Lantern villain, he is woefully underequipped to fight Green Lantern. No superpowers, no awesome weapons, not even anything made of yellow. Hell, at least Javelin had a yellow costume. Predator doesn’t even have that. Which means that in order for him to have ever posed a threat to Green Lantern, someone’s going to have to come along and revamp him.
What I’m saying is that I live in dread of the day Geoff Johns decides to revamp the Predator for the modern era.
26
Aug
I was going to make fun of Michael Lynch’s incredibly witless op-ed in the New York Times which boiled down to “despite the fact that absolutely everybody in the world says that peak oil is either upon us or nearly so, they are all wrong and in fact the entire world is made of oil, basically,” but then I found out that actual energy analysts had made fun of it for me.
26
Aug
25
Aug
Competition begins! Your judges are Jean-Marc, Tre, and Blake and Luther before Blake and Luther go off to be choreographers rather than judges. Tre says this is the best top 20 ever, which considering this is second season is not that big a deal; then Jean-Marc ups the ante by saying this is the best top 20 of any SYTYCD anywhere, which leads me to mentally respond “really… better than US season 3 and Australia season 2?” So we shall see.
Tara-Jean and Everett: jive. This was… pretty mediocre. The judges gave it a tonguebath, but they can’t not give the very first routine of the season anything but, especially after boasting immediately before about how great this top 20 was. The routine itself was jumbled and confused, which probably has something to do with the fact that Melissa Williams is a contemporary and pop choreographer who dabbles in ballroom rather than the other way around. Tara-Jean and Everett danced it capably but lacked energy; their kicks didn’t have enough snap and once or twice they looked lost.
Amy and Vincent: samba. The judges all talked about how Amy blew the lift (when her foot slipped on Vincent’s knee while stepping up into it), but she and Vincent recovered very well from it so I don’t really care about that. A little more bothersome is that Amy’s footwork was at times clumsy, and that I feel her personality in the dance was more “bubbly” than “sultry,” and I think the samba and most Latin dance generally should tend towards the latter. Vincent, on the other hand, absolutely nailed it in every way possible. This was quite good for top 20 week.
Melanie M. and Cody: contemporary. Stacey Tookey is more or less Canada’s version of Mia Michaels (minus the self-importance that Mia found somewhere during season two of the American show) and delivered an excellent routine here; Cody and Melanie M. have crazy chemistry together and danced this very well. A couple of times, Cody was definitely not quite in the moment – most notably for the huge lift he had to do, where the camera pulled out but you could still see him struggling a bit to do that massive lift. Then again, Cody is not built like Superman, so I think that’s entirely forgivable, and for the most part he was up to Melanie’s absurdly high level of excellence. I thought these two were locks for top 20; now I think they’re locks for top 10 and Melanie is already a threat for the finals.
Kim and Emanuel: hip-hop. Let me preface by giving love to Sho-Tyme for giving us 90s-style hip-hop set to MC Hammer, of all things. As to the dancing itself: Kim nailed it. She was in the beat the entire time and hit every single move cleanly, and even tried to compensate her own moves to match time with Emanuel’s mistakes. Emanuel clearly was not even close to the beat and looked completely out of his element in that regard: he tried to make up for it by exuding the right attitude for the piece, but all the attitude in the world wouldn’t make up for the steps he was blowing. This could have been massively entertaining (like Sho-Tyme’s house routine from last year), but there’s no way to call it anything but a failure.
Corynne and Anthony: Viennese waltz. Apart from a couple of bobbles by Corynne at the beginning this was technically very sound and artistically solid, but I echo Blake’s “it didn’t do much for me” because Corynne and Anthony danced it very well as two individuals; there’s no chemistry between these two as partners; it’s nearly as bad as the passionless void between Caitlyn and Jason in US season 5. Hopefully they can find some.
Natalie and Danny: hip-hop. Natalie was a HOUSAFIRE tonight; she killed that routine in every way possible it is to kill a hip-hop routine. Danny was actually pretty good; there was a moment right near the end where he kind of got lost a little bit, but for the most part he was solidly in the groove throughout and complemented Natalie’s hardcore work very nicely. This was damn solid.
Jayme-Rae and Daniel: Afro-jazz. This was an absolutely killer routine – maybe a little more “jazz” than “Afro-” to be sure, but just great, great choreography by Sean Cheeseman. That bit where Daniel walked Jayme-Rae across the wall? KILLER. Everything about this was absolutely great.
Jenna-Lynn and Nicolas: disco. I love that Tre had the presence of mind to amend it and call it a “contemporary disco, sort of,” because the only parts of that routine that were disco were a couple of hip shimmies and a quick hand ripple; welcome to Melissa Williams’ world, where a routine is whatever she wants it to be. This was some weird hybrid of West Coast swing and partnered jazz, not disco. (And let us be honest: there was nothing about this routine that was noteworthy. It was kind of boring.) That having been said, Jenna-Lynn and Nicolas danced what they were given quite well indeed; it was just the suggestion that this thingie was a disco routine that made the whole thing slightly jarring.
Tatiana and Austin: capoiera. First off, when they announced they were doing capoiera I was all “FUCK YES” and then it turned out that it was actually a sort of Latin-dance modified capoeira, but after ten seconds I was still all “FUCK YES” because this routine was totally goddamned awesome, and Tatiana and Austin killed it. Easily my favorite routine of the night.
Melanie B. and Brüno Taylor: tango. Melanie B. actually impressed me a bit less than Taylor in this, which given that this is supposed to be her specialty is notso hotso; she tripped over her own feet at least twice – only slightly, maybe, not enough to really affect the routine, but visibly. I honestly wasn’t expecting anything out of Taylor for this and was actually quite surprised: not just because he danced the entire routine through a bloody mouth but because he really danced in a manly, aggressive way that a lot of contempo dancers have trouble doing.
So: is this the best top 20 ever? No; at best it’s on par with US season 3, and definitely not as good as Australia season 2 (still the benchmark). But it’s a very strong top 20 outing, and last year SYTYCD Canada started off a bit slow and only really started picking up steam in the second and third performance episodes.
Probably bottom three: Kim and Emanuel, Tara-Jean and Everett, Mel B. and Taylor.
Should go home: Mel B. and Emanuel.
Will go home: Tara-Jean and Everett.
25
Aug
Although anybody familiar with the Golden Age adventure of Superman – where he frequently took on union-busters and corporate profiteers – will be surprised, here is proof that Superman supports socialist programs and government-run health care.
25
Aug
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