Just in time for the end of the year – and as always, coming after the actual King William’s College Quiz, which also as always is much harder than this little trifle – comes our annual holiday tradition of pandering to nerds.

If you’re new to this, you might want to look at last year’s quiz or the 2013 or 2012 quizzes in order to get an idea (from the commenters’ working to solve them) of how these quizzes work.

And without further ado:

QUESTION ONE

a. What was spared from destruction because it was useful to the enemy?

b. What was reshingled with breakfast food?

c. What failed to convert into a pie business?

d. What produced wonders of cooking that made grown men weep?

e. What was mortgaged without the knowledge of its owners?

f. Where were cattle without point or aim?

g. What was renamed once after violence and once after peace?

h. Where was a child spared because he might prove useful in future?

i. What was priced with the blood of Jesus Christ?

QUESTION TWO

a. Who owned a chain of successful restaurants?

b. Whose total was sixty-five?

c. Who was a seasoned yacht operator?

d. Who equipped his vehicle with illegal weapons to win a race?

e. Who was a selfless servant?

f. Who revealed murders committed by a public servant?

g. Who gave away his lucky stone?

h. Whose friendship could not be bought with a drink?

i. Who was enslaved for her mother’s debts?

QUESTION THREE

a. Who was kept in a padlocked cell?

b. Who freshened their breath with a popular mint?

c. Who was electrocuted ahead of schedule?

d. Who wore a nonexistent kilt?

e. Who was offended by another person’s lack of opera knowledge?

f. Who once went ice fishing in Wisconsin?

g. Who did not outlive the most wanted man in America?

h. Who made three impossible trips?

i. Who purchased privately owned technology stock?

QUESTION FOUR

a. Who taught a robot the language of the streets?

b. Who was saved from an angry buffalo?

c. Who died under the stars?

d. Who was captured by men with swelled heads?

e. Who survived a desert thanks to an oasis?

f. Who could not defeat a bear single-handedly?

g. Who once sold a movie for a dollar?

h. Who permanently lost some of her body mass?

i. Who was more popular and successful than her parents?

QUESTION FIVE

a. Who destroyed the Vatican?

b. Who met the Wandering Jew at the end of time?

c. Who smiled, and ate the chicken?

d. Who was like a bug upon a windshield?

e. Who never did anything remotely interesting or original?

f. Who was blinded by himself?

g. Who became a force of death in two different ways at two different times?

h. Whose friend was a jinn in disguise?

i. Whose marriage was unhappy?

QUESTION SIX

a. When a queen was poor, what did she buy herself to eat?

b. What was best with a drop of venom?

c. What did a blind girl have in the morning?

d. What was made in a helm and not as good as deer?

e. What had to be made particularly to satisfy a commander?

f. What helped cause a princess to weaken her resolve?

g. What made a man so happy he was almost dancing?

h. What was an accompaniment to living flame?

i. What was a pirate’s cure for a sore throat?

QUESTION SEVEN

a. Whose duty was it to kill a mad god?

b. Who was sentenced to execution via primate?

c. Who did not deserve to die in a Turkish dungeon?

d. Who tortured a child to find his wife’s paramour?

e. Who began a revolution to usurp the gods from power?

f. Who unknowingly carried power within his eye?

g. Who decided that an asteroid crash was too merciful?

h. Who bought his home in an estate sale?

i. Who went on a sea cruise just before an election?

This is the Call for Nominations for the 2015 Theszie Awards.

To nominate candidates for all categories, you may use this form. Nominations are due by December 30, 2015.

To see a list of current nominees, click here.

Finally, to see previous years’ results, click here for 2014, here for 2013, here and here for 2012, and here for most historical awards.

Welcome to the results of the 2014 Theszies / Rec.sport.pro-wrestling Awards.

This year we officially hit 1,000 voters – and I mean exactly 1,000 voters, after we manually eliminated the usual bunch of duplicate/scam voters (seriously, guys, why do you do that, it just makes this all take longer). We came out to exactly one thousand, which is pretty amazing.

For next year, we’re looking at some ways to improve the Awards. We may end up killing some of the “worst” Awards – not all of them, but people are generally less enthusiastic about them, and also it gets boring seeing people use various awards to complain about how much they dislike John Cena (or, presumably, Roman Reigns next year). We’re also looking at ways to streamline the nominations process for at least some of the awards.

Finally, I’d like to thank Justin Henry, Christopher Robin Zimmerman, Herb Kunze and all those who have previously run the Awards and contributed to their legacy; everybody who chipped in to promote the awards; all of you voters, of course; and finally and most importantly an extra-double-sized thanks to mgkdotcom’s Tech Guy, James Young, without whose invaluable assistance these Awards would almost certainly have failed to be anywhere near as successful and user-friendly as they in fact were.

You can find the results for the “Best” Awards HERE.

You can find the results for the “Worst” Awards HERE.

Finally, you can find full ballot counts for all awards HERE.

See you next year!

QUESTION ONE (Film adaptations of Shakespeare plays)

a. Whose first instinct was not to feed the tarantula?
Olivia in She’s The Man

b. Who once crashed into a car on purpose?
Kat Stratford in 10 Things I Hate About You

c. Who always wanted to be a hawk?
Hugo in O

d. What promoted rust?
The atmosphere of Altair IV in Forbidden Planet

e. Who considered herself an underachiver?
Pat MacBeth in Scotland, PA

f. Which pair of gardeners hated one another?
Mrs. Montague and Mr. Capulet in Gnomeo and Juliet

g. Who kept nunchaku in his trousers?
Striker in Get Over It

h. Who was unaffected by fifty-dollar words?
Mike in Deliver Us From Eva

i. Who explained that knowledge of kung fu was a statutory requirement in his home?
Han Sing in Romeo Must Die

QUESTION TWO (Roman characters in Asterix books)

a. Who changed his name when he became a matador?
Spurious Brontosaurus (El Hispanie) in Asterix in Spain

b. Who informed the audience that he knew his enemies had a secret?
Caligula Minus in Asterix the Gaul

c. who was followed by jealousy everywhere he went?
Tortuous Convolvulus in Asterix and the Roman Agent

d. Who was given property by the seaside?
Tremensdelerius in Asterix and Caesar’s Gift

e. Who used their knowledge of soldier’s songs in pursuit of a seat in the Senate?
Crismus Cactus in Asterix and Son

f. Who was defiantly proud of not being a work of art?
Goldendelicius in Asterix and the Laurel Wreath

g. Who loved fried boar’s tripe with honey?
Varius Flavius in Asterix in Switzerland

h. Who invented the latest thing in baths?
Squareonthehypotenus in The Mansions of the Gods

i. Who argued that peace was beyond all price?
Caius Preposterus in Obelix & Co.

QUESTION THREE (talking ducks)

a. Who liked toast, but was suspicious of muffins?
Ajax Duckman from Duckman

b. Who was concerned about the expense of nuclear weapons?
Negaduck from Darkwing Duck

c. Who was given a bare belly when he was hit with 200 million volts of electricity?
Danger Duck from Loonatics

d. Who gained superpowers from a starfish?
Rubberduck from Captain Carrot and his Amazing Zoo Crew!

e. Who once went to purchase uranium for children?
Super Duck from Archie Comics’ Super Duck

f. Whose reincarnation involved ketchup?
Count Duckula

g. Who was too smart for hard work?
Gladstone Gander

h. Who always wore a floatation device so that he would not drown?
Wade Duck from U.S. Acres

i. Who earned a dollar for peeling potatoes?
Lucky Ducky from Tom The Dancing Bug

QUESTION FOUR (princesses)

a. Who was once endowed with the power of love?
Wonder Woman (Princess Diana)

b. Who was adopted by a demon?
Morrigan Arnsland from Darkstalkers

c. Who refused to fight the King of the Rock?
Mulan

d. Which rose was plucked by the younger son of a king?
Sharra, the Dark Rose of Cathal from The Fionavar Tapestry

e. Who remembered a cat?
Anya from Anastasia

f. Who hated the smell of humans?
San in Princess Mononoke

g. Who is estimated to have a fortune exceeding one billion dollars?
Princess Peach

h. Who believed there was a star expressly for her?
Dejah Thoris, the Princess of Mars

i. Whose middle names were the result of a local tradition?
Princess Esmerelda Margaret Note Spelling of Lancre

QUESTION FIVE (television characters involved in crossovers)

a. Who was the brother of a mortician?
John Munch in Homicide: Life On The Streets – crossed into Law and Order: SVU and The X-Files

b. Who appeared in pornography under an assumed, but real, name?
Ursula Buffay in Mad About You – crossed into Friends

c. Who considered amaretto a “wussy drink”?
Carla Tortelli in Cheers – crossed into St. Elsewhere

d. Who started smoking at the age of nine?
Chandler Bing in Friends – crossed into Caroline and the City

e. Who did not discover he had a son until he was thirty-two?
Crosby Braverman in Parenthood – crossed into About a Boy

f. Who considered the revelation of his baldness a firing offense?
Alan Brady in The Dick Van Dyke Show – crossed into Mad About You

g. Who assisted in an escape from a Dyson Sphere?
Montgomery Scott in Star Trek – crossed into Star Trek: The Next Generation

h. Who had a firm belief about the distinction between a custodian and a janitor?
George Jefferson in The Jeffersons – crossed into All In The Family, Fresh Prince of Bel Air, others

i.Which journalist refused to speak to her birth mother?
Natalie Green in The Facts of Life – crossed into Diff’rent Strokes

QUESTION SIX (judges)

a. Who once requested some French cologne?
Judge Turpin in Sweeney Todd

b. Who gave up his dream to move to Italy?
Marshall Eriksen in How I Met Your Mother

c. Who acted only in the ultimate greater interest?
The Living Tribunal

d. Who knew that the form of the devil was a griffin with wings of leather?
Theodoric of York, Medieval Judge

e. Who was a fool without a crown?
Judge Frollo in The Hunchback of Notre Dame

f. Who committed suicide and then helped a soul escape Purgatory?
Adrian Chase (Vigilante)

g. Who always considered being from Texas to be a capital crime?
The Hangin’ Judges in Deadlands

h. Who was born and raised in a bad block?
Judge Anderson in Judge Dredd/Dredd

i. Who was a 1951 model?
Doc Hudson in Cars

The King William’s College Quiz has come and gone for another year, and of course its insistence that quiz-takers “know a lot of things” of course just makes the whole thing harder than it really needs to be. Therefore, once again we bring you the Not Quite The King William’s College Quiz, which we promise is not quite as hard as its namesake and panders to nerds shamelessly. Probably the latter is more important to nerds.

(P.S. Although still probably much easier than the real KWC Quiz, this should be much harder than last year or the year before.)

QUESTION ONE

a. Whose first instinct was not to feed the tarantula?

b. Who once crashed into a car on purpose?

c. Who always wanted to be a hawk?

d. What promoted rust?

e. Who considered herself an underachiver?

f. Which pair of gardeners hated one another?

g. Who kept nunchaku in his trousers?

h. Who was unaffected by fifty-dollar words?

i. Who explained that knowledge of kung fu was a statutory requirement in his home?

QUESTION TWO

a. Who changed his name when he became a matador?

b. Who informed the audience that he knew his enemies had a secret?

c. who was followed by jealousy everywhere he went?

d. Who was given property by the seaside?

e. Who used their knowledge of soldier’s songs in pursuit of a seat in the Senate?

f. Who was defiantly proud of not being a work of art?

g. Who loved fried boar’s tripe with honey?

h. Who invented the latest thing in baths?

i. Who argued that peace was beyond all price?

QUESTION THREE

a. Who liked toast, but was suspicious of muffins?

b. Who was concerned about the expense of nuclear weapons?

c. Who was given a bare belly when he was hit with 200 million volts of electricity?

d. Who gained superpowers from a starfish?

e. Who once went to purchase uranium for children?

f. Whose reincarnation involved ketchup?

g. Who was too smart for hard work?

h. Who always wore a floatation device so that he would not drown?

i. Who earned a dollar for peeling potatoes?

QUESTION FOUR

a. Who was once endowed with the power of love?

b. Who was adopted by a demon?

c. Who refused to fight the King of the Rock?

d. Which rose was plucked by the younger son of a king?

e. Who remembered a cat?

f. Who hated the smell of humans?

g. Who is estimated to have a fortune exceeding one billion dollars?

h. Who believed there was a star expressly for her?

i. Whose middle names were the result of a local tradition?

QUESTION FIVE

a. Who was the brother of a mortician?

b. Who appeared in pornography under an assumed, but real, name?

c. Who considered amaretto a “wussy drink”?

d. Who started smoking at the age of nine?

e. Who did not discover he had a son until he was thirty-two?

f. Who considered the revelation of his baldness a firing offense?

g. Who assisted in an escape from a Dyson Sphere?

h. Who had a firm belief about the distinction between a custodian and a janitor?

i.Which journalist refused to speak to her birth mother?

QUESTION SIX

a. Who once requested some French cologne?

b. Who gave up his dream to move to Italy?

c. Who acted only in the ultimate greater interest?

d. Who knew that the form of the devil was a griffin with wings of leather?

e. Who was a fool without a crown?

f. Who committed suicide and then helped a soul escape Purgatory?

g. Who always considered being from Texas to be a capital crime?

h. Who was born and raised in a bad block?

i. Who was a 1951 model?

Voting is now open for the 2014 rec.sport.pro-wrestling Awards – the Theszies! You can vote HERE.

The Theszie Awards are the oldest fan awards in pro wrestling history, going back to 1990 (when Mr. Perfect quite appropriately won Best Wrestler and Junkyard Dog v. Ric Flair at Clash XI won Worst Match). They offer a record of wrestling fan opinion lasting decades, and although we may not agree with some awards in retrospect, what matters is that they offer a snapshot of every year of wrestling as the fans loved it. We think that’s pretty cool.

As usual, following the nominations period, we have compiled all of the nominations into pulldown menus to make voting faster and easier (since the pulldown menus should include most, if not all, of the most popular candidates for each award), while still allowing for write-in votes for those who don’t see their favorite choices as nominees. We do this strictly to streamline the voting process; this should not be construed as favoritism towards any wrestler for being nominated, as we do not nominate wrestlers ourselves.

(We have edited the nominations to remove some nominations that we thought were inappropriate, mistakes/errors, or unlikely to get enough votes to justify the nomination – for example, someone nominated Aiden English for Best Flyer, and while we might like Aiden English, he’s not exactly a luchador – however, this does not mean people cannot vote for those wrestlers in those categories.)

We have added a new award this year for Best Wrestling Media, to celebrate independent wrestling journalism and commentary. This was done partially because we recognize the importance to the wrestling community of recaps, podcasts and fan reviews, and partially because fan-created media was threatening to completely overwhelm actual wrestling shows produced by wrestling companies in the Best TV/Youtube Show category, and while we’re fans of Botchamania and other shows like it, the work that goes into creating Botchamania is far different than the work that goes into creating a regular original wrestling program. We want fans of these fan-driven shows to be able to celebrate their favorite shows; we just don’t want actual wrestling to be ignored or overlooked in favour of it. Hence the new category.

We’ve also used TECHNOLOGY to let you save your ballot and return to it later, if need be. Finally, we’ve also given fans the opportunity to include their own commentary on their voting choices for each award or just The State of Wrestling in General in 2014.

The deadline for entering votes is February 7, 2015. Have fun!

The rec.sport.pro-wrestling Awards are the oldest public-vote wrestling awards on the internet. Dating back to 1990 (when Curt Hennig won Best Wrestler, Scott Steiner’s Frankensteiner won Best Move, and Hulk Hogan versus Earthquake won Worst Feud), the RSPW Awards now span over two decades and are far and away the most comprehensive wrestling awards in wrestling fandom. They are the oldest awards and the best awards. You can see the results of the 2013 Awards (which also contain the entire history of winners in all categories) for the “best of year” awards here and the “worst of year” awards here.

This is the Call to Nominations for the 2014 RSPW Awards. The Nominations phase is not a strict rule of eventual award nominees – if nobody nominates Dean Ambrose for Best Wrestler, for example (let’s say that an apocalypse happens and we’re all too busy for the next month, because that is the only way that will happen on the internet), come time for voting, people can still vote for Dean Ambrose as Best Wrestler. The Nominations are intended, instead, to present voters with a list of suggested candidates to consider when assigning their votes (as voters will vote for a 1st, 2nd and 3rd place in each category).

Maybe when voting for Best Tag Team, you will forget about how great the Young Bucks have been this year (or maybe you don’t watch PWG/RoH/New Japan often enough to know). Maybe you weren’t aware of how much fun CHIKARA is as a promotion, and seeing them nominated causes you to check them out. That’s the point of the nominations: to expose wrestling fans to the wider wrestling universe. Just like the Awards themselves, when you think about it. You can nominate candidates for awards here.

Please note that this year we have added a new category: Best Wrestling Media, for podcasts, websites, magazines, and all other forms of independent pro wrestling-focused journalism.

Nominees are due by December 28, 2014. Awards voting proper will begin on January 1, 2014. A list of current nominees can be found here.

Welcome to the results of the 2013 Rec.sport.pro-wrestling Awards.

We saw a marked increase in voting this year, thanks to large numbers of voters sent our way from Scott Keith, Wreddit, The Mandible Claw, Botchamania, Old School Wrestling Review and lots of other wrestling fan sites. As a result, this year’s total votes came out to a whopping 767 – well over a 50% increase over last year. We also saw this year a trend I personally welcome, which was some wrestlers actively campaigning on Twitter – at least a little bit – for victory in the Awards. Granted, none of those campaigns worked, but at least one major fan campaign did, as you shall see.

You can find the results for the “Best of” Awards here.

You can find the results for the “Worst of” Awards here.

Finally, you can find the master list of all vote tallies here.

See you next year!

A while ago, I asked commenters to list five songs they thought I should listen to / that they would recommend to me, and that I would listen to them and write about my reactions. There were a huge lot of them, so we’re going to do this in stages.

Caetano Veloso, “Tropicália“: This was actually interesting because I have heard of Veloso previously but only in his context as an activist – I’ve never sought out any of his music. And it’s nice: Latin-style folk with some rock influences, but that sentence doesn’t really do it justice – it’s very much its own thing. (At least I didn’t call it “worldbeat,” give me points for that, right?) Not my thing exactly but it was a nice experience. pass with affection

Caladan Brood, “A Voice Born of Stone and Dust“: Man, this is stereotypical modern metal: a ten-minute long song about a set of fantasy novels (which exist only because somebody decided to write about the gameworld from his GURPS campaign, I shit you not), with someone singing through their esophagus about undeads. And then it just keeps going. And… yeah. pass

continue reading "The Five Songs Project, Results Post #2: C"

A while ago, I asked commenters to list five songs they thought I should listen to / that they would recommend to me, and that I would listen to them and write about my reactions. There were a huge lot of them, so we’re going to do this in stages.

二手玫瑰 － 官封弼马瘟—苏阳: Well, that was weird as hell. Started out as this neat bluesy Chinese song (or possibly Korean or Thai? I’m not sure, I think maybe Korean but non-Japanese kanji all sort of blur together for me, sorry) and then duck quacks start getting used as percussion and then it just gets weirder from there – yes, weirder than “a duck quack song.” Entertaining for a single listen anyway.

ABBA, “When All Is Said And Done“: I mean, it’s ABBA, what can you say? Either you love ABBA or you’re a bad person, basically. This song is actually one of my favorite ABBA songs just because it’s never been one of their top tier, it’s not what anybody thinks of first when they think of ABBA, never will be, but this was my mom’s favorite ABBA song when it was playing on the cassette deck in the car on our drives when we went on summer vacations and that translated down a generation, I guess. already own it

continue reading "The Five Songs Project, Results Post #1: A-B"

Voting is now open for the 2013 rec.sport.pro-wrestling Awards. You can vote HERE.

Following the nominations period, we have compiled all of the nominations into pulldown menus to make voting faster and easier (since the pulldown menus should include most, if not all, of the most popular candidates for each award), while still allowing for write-in votes for those who don’t see their favorite choices as nominees. The result is a vastly streamlined voting process.

We’ve also used TECHNOLOGY to let you save your ballot and return to it later, if need be. Finally, we’ve also given fans the opportunity to include their own commentary on their voting choices for each award or just The State of Wrestling in General in 2013.

The deadline for entering votes in is February 14, 2014.